


Finally Free

by AllThingsMalec



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bodyguard Raphael Santiago, Detective Jace Wayland, M/M, Smut, Soldier Simon Lewis, Threesome - M/M/M, War related PTSD, no beta - we die like men, overcoming past issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 05:00:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 69,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26769874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllThingsMalec/pseuds/AllThingsMalec
Summary: Police Detective Jace Wayland has felt an undeniable pull towards the very straight Simon Lewis since the day Simon’s brother married Jace’s younger sister many years earlier. But even though the Simon who has come home isn’t the one who left, all of Jace’s feelings come rushing back to the surface and he steps in to help the only man he’s ever truly wanted.Simon Lewis has finally come home after a year of being held captive by the terrorists who slaughtered his entire Special Forces team. But he can’t escape the nightmares that torment him or the guilt that he was the only one to walk away.Tough as nails former soldier and mercenary Raphael Santiago has returned to New York after years of running from his past and he’s hoping that joining Down-world Security Group will help him finally call the city he left behind home.For Jace and Raphael, it’s hate at first sight but they soon realize that they will need each other if they have any hope of saving Simon from himself. And neither of them expects their mutual distrust in one another to grow into something else entirely or that Simon himself will find in both of them what he needs to rebuild his life and come to terms with who he really is.
Relationships: Simon Lewis/Raphael Santiago/Jace Wayland
Comments: 38
Kudos: 32





	1. Chapter: 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys
> 
> 1\. This is my first ever adaptation of a threesome AU, I'm really nervous about it and I'm still learning, so please be kind.
> 
> 2\. I would really love to know what you think so please do let me know.
> 
> 3\. Posting will definitely be weekly.
> 
> 4\. Ok, so here goes.....
> 
> ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` `

  
Jace Wayland searched out the doorknob to the interview room with one hand while he flipped open the file he’d been holding with the other. It was well past quitting time but his fuckwad of a Captain had jammed the folder into his hand just as he’d been shutting down his computer and told him to deal with the suspect in Interview-3 before he left. Bastard didn’t give a shit that he’d been on for more than twenty hours straight or that he’d been too busy to even take a piss in the last six hours.

“Mr. Santiago?” Jace said as he scanned the information on the intake form. No response. Jace glanced up from the file and paused at the sight that greeted him.

The man was huge enough which was saying something since Jace himself was just under 6’ and heavily built. This guy looked like he belonged in the wrestling ring, not handcuffed to the steel table that was bolted to the floor. Of course, the dark-hair and leather wrist cuffs didn’t make him look like an angel and the ragged scar running across his right cheek was proof that he probably wouldn’t be nominated for sainthood anytime soon. And between the last name, the slightly darker tint to his complexion and the heavily muscled body, Jace was guessing the guy had an interesting group of people running through his family tree.

Unsurprised by his new customer’s lack of response, Jace closed the door behind him and dropped down into the metal chair across from him. There was a slight jangling of chains which told Jace that Santiago was cuffed at the feet as well as the hands. He supposed the man’s intimidating bulk and dark expression had the arresting officer pulling out all the stops to ensure he walked out of the interview room in one piece.

“I’m Detective Wayland,” Jace muttered as he studied the form in front of him.

Still no response. Jace left the file open as he leaned back in his chair and studied the intense man sitting across from him. He was caught off guard by the stirring of lust that suddenly went through him as he took in the firm, full lips and wide jaw. Dark eyes stared back at him and the contempt he saw there unnerved him. Which was saying a lot since he could count on one hand how many suspects had ever actually made him physically uncomfortable. Sure, there’d been plenty of sick fucks that had brought out a visceral reaction that he’d had to work hard to control, but that had to do with the twisted, obscene crimes they committed. His reaction to this man was something else entirely and he didn’t like it one bit.

“I understand you had an altercation with a Mr. Victor Aldertree-” Jace said as he glanced at the file.

Raphael still remained silent, his hands folded together in front of him.

“Mr. Aldertree is insisting that charges be pressed against you and your friend-”

“Leave Andrew out of this.” A first response from the man.

The deep, rumbling voice sent a shiver running down Jace’s spine and he looked up once more. “That’s not likely to happen Mr. Santiago, since Mr. Underhill appears to be the reason for the incident that occurred.”

Jace paused for a moment and noticed the slight flaring of Raphael’s nostrils at the mention of his friend’s name. 

_Perhaps more than just a friend._

“Although ‘incident’ probably isn’t the most appropriate term since Mr. Aldertree is currently being prepped for surgery. The doctors say he’ll be lucky to regain full use of his hand after it somehow got slammed in a car door. Twice.”

Raphael slowly leaned forward. “Fucker touches Andrew again, it’ll be more than just his hand that needs attention.” The deadly tone should have had warning bells going off in Jace’s head, not sparks of electricity shooting through his dick.

“Are you saying Mr. Aldertree was assaulting Mr. Underhill?”

“You catch on quick, Detective,” Raphael drawled. “They teach you to ask such insightful questions in detective school?”

Jace ignored the jab. He was too hungry and too tired to deal with this shit. The guy wanted to be a disrespectful son of a bitch, so be it. A night in lock up might improve his disposition. Jace began to close the file but stopped when another name jumped out at him. 

_Shit._

“You work for Down-world Security Group?” Jace asked. “You’re one of Magnus’ men?”

The use of one of the cofounders of DSG’s first name had Raphael stiffening, but he finally nodded.

“You’re new,” Jace declared. A statement, not a question, since he knew most of Magnus’ security personnel and he sure as hell would have remembered a man like Raphael.

“I joined the firm a couple of weeks ago. Ragnor brought me on board after I got back to the States.”

Jace froze as his mind connected the dot. 

_Simon._

“You were on the team that brought Simon Lewis home?”

If Jace hadn’t been so distracted by his own discovery of just who this man was, he would have enjoyed watching the confusion that overtook Raphael. He suspected the guy didn’t enjoy not being in the know. But Jace was too preoccupied with a vision of Simon, the third adopted brother to Magnus and Ragnor, to pay much attention to Raphael at the moment. Simon Lewis had been in this same interview room three days earlier, though he hadn’t been the same man Jace remembered.

“How do you know them?” he heard Raphael ask, his husky voice thick with curiosity.

“Magnus was my brother in law,” Jace answered, only half-aware of the other man now as all his thoughts drifted to the same place they’d been in the three days since Simon Lewis had re-entered his life and changed it yet again.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Raphael Santiago wasn’t someone that surprised easily but the enigmatic Detective Wayland had managed to do just that. At thirty and with more than a dozen years of working around the worst kind of men humanity had to offer, Raphael considered himself to be pretty good at reading people and figuring out their weaknesses. He had, after all, learned early on in life that the true nature of a person rarely matched the packaging they cloaked themselves in. Ragnor and his brother Magnus had been among the rare exceptions so when they’d offered him a job that meant setting down roots in the city he’d spent most of his life trying to escape from, the choice had been easier to make than he thought. For all the reasons he’d come to hate New York, he’d finally found some that might make it worth staying.

So to learn that the gruff looking cop was actually related to one of his new bosses was a surprise. Since Ragnor had never married, that left Magnus’ deceased wife as the link between the two men.

“Dot was your sister?”

The raw pain in Jace’s eyes was so gaping and obvious that Raphael nearly reached out to try to offer comfort to the other man before he realized what he was doing. Not to mention the cuffs which he was suddenly grateful for since they prevented his hands from moving more than an inch or two from the huge bolt they were fastened to on the table-top.

Jace managed a nod and his gaze dropped to the paper in front of him. But the agony in the mis-matched eyes was shuddered by the time he looked back up at Raphael.

Raphael guessed the detective to be in his late twenties and he looked exactly like every other cop Raphael had dealt with since the first time he’d been hassled for being in a place that he wasn’t deemed good enough to be in. He’d been only fifteen when he walked into a fancy department store with a wad of cash that had represented every penny he’d managed to scrape together from his job stocking shelves at the corner grocery near his and his mom’s apartment. It had been the first time he’d been able to afford an actual present for his mother for Mother’s Day and he’d settled on a bracelet.

He’d been lurking around the jewellery counter for almost thirty minutes trying to pick out the perfect one when a hand had clamped down on his shoulder and he’d been shoved down on the glass counter. A heavy voice had started accusing him of theft and handcuffs had snapped around his wrists before he’d even managed to get a word out. And as the cop hauled him out of the store, not one of the clerks or patrons who’d seen him just minding his own business had spoken up for him. The police officer had lambasted him as a thug and when his mother had shown up at the police station two hours later, that same cop had held up a bag with three watches in it – watches he’d never seen but had supposedly stolen from the store. Three fucking watches and one dirty cop and his whole life had changed.

Raphael forced his attention back to the man in front of him who seemed to be lost in thought. The guy was classically handsome and there was a certain ruggedness about him that had Raphael’s dick standing up and taking notice. He didn’t usually go for men that were his near equal in size and strength but there was something strangely appealing about the man. His dirty blonde hair was neatly groomed and the suit he was wearing was somewhere right between cheap and expensive. Thick fingers brushed over a slight five o’clock shadow as he rubbed his jaw absentmindedly and Raphael had to stifle a groan at the thought of the rough stubble scraping over his skin as those wide lips wrapped around his cock.

“Sorry for your loss,” Raphael managed to get out as he tried to get his libido under control. “I never met her but Ragnor told stories about her…”

Jace waved him off with a brief motion of his hand.

“Tell me about your encounter with Mr. Aldertree this evening, Mr. Santiago,” Jace suddenly said, his demeanour all business again. Raphael went instantly on alert as the cop was back and he cursed himself for being foolish enough to forget first and foremost who the man across from him really was.

The mention of Dot’s name had managed to push thoughts of Simon to the back of his mind for the moment but hearing the pity in Raphael’s voice was a stark reminder that the man on the other side of the table wasn’t his friend. He may work for Magnus and Ragnor, but Jace had a job to do. But whatever progress had been made in the few moments since Jace had mentioned Magnus and Ragnor were gone and Raphael fell mute once more.

“Look Mr. Santiago, personally I don’t give a fuck if you spend tonight in lock up or not but I really don’t need Magnus and Ragnor crawling up my ass right now. Not to mention they’ve been through enough shit this past week so let’s get on with this,” Jace snapped. “Tell me what happened tonight.”

A look of anger passed over Raphael’s features and Jace suspected if the cuffs were gone, the man might have physically come after him. He was so keyed up that the idea held a certain, sick appeal and he bit out, “You know what, fuck it,” as he pulled the keys to the cuffs from his pocket and reached for Raphael’s hands.

He ignored the surge of energy that slammed into him at the brief contact with the man’s heated skin as he removed the cuffs. He dropped the key in front of Raphael so he could undo the cuffs around his ankles because there was no way in hell he could trust himself to drop to his knees anywhere near the other man.

Jace leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms and waited. Raphael eyed him for a long moment before he finally leaned down to remove the cuffs and then unceremoniously tossed the key back to him.

“Victor Aldertree has been stalking Andrew for months,” Raphael finally said.

“They were in a relationship?” Jace asked.

Raphael nodded, his sharp eyes never leaving Jace. “Andrew broke it off a while ago but Aldertree wasn’t taking no for an answer. Tonight I made sure he got the message once and for all.”

“So you and Mr. Underhill are-”

“No,” Raphael interjected. “Not all fags want to fuck each other,” Raphael snapped.

The crude remark gave Jace new insight into the man sitting across from him but he kept his mouth shut.

“Andrew and I served together. We’re friends.”

Jace nodded. “What happened?”

“Andrew was coming to pick me up so we could go get a couple of drinks. Aldertree followed him to my place. He got rough with Andrew so I got rough with him.” Jace was unsurprised at the lack of apology in the man’s tone.

“You can’t hold Andrew on anything – he didn’t touch Aldertree. Bastard’s lucky Andrew was there to pull me off,” Raphael added.

“My colleague is interviewing Mr. Underhill as we speak. Charges won’t be determined until witness statements have been collected as well,” Jace added.

“You’re the one who let Simon leave, aren’t you?” Raphael suddenly asked, his eyes dark with anger. Jace ignored the question and grabbed the pad of paper that had been stuffed into the file folder and slid it across the table to Raphael and then snagged a pen out of his shirt pocket.

“Write down your statement, then sign and date it,” Jace said as he tossed the pen to Raphael. “I’ll be back in a bit.”

As Jace stood, the pad and pen were shoved back across the table. Any patience Jace had left disappeared and he leaned across the table and stuck his face in Raphael’s. “Write down your fucking statement here or in a jail cell. Doesn’t matter to me either way,” he snarled as he reared back and thrust the pad forward once more and turned to go.

“I can’t you asshole. I’m dyslexic.” 

  
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Jace closed the interview room door behind him. He hadn’t said anything to Raphael after he’d written the statement that Raphael recited to him. He’d simply waited for the big man to scratch out his signature on the bottom of the page and then snatched the pad of paper off the table and left the room, not bothering to re-cuff Raphael even though he was technically still a suspect. As much as the guy rubbed him the wrong way, Jace’s gut was telling him that Raphael’s story was on the up and up and wasn’t a threat to him or any other officer in the precinct.

“You get his statement, Wayland?”

Disgust went through him at the sound of his Captain’s voice bellowing across the room. The man was an absolute dirt bag and it always took every ounce of Jace’s iron-like self-control not to beat the shit out of him. He was a blatant racist and homophobe which was saying a lot considering the department itself had never been the most politically correct group of people. Sure, there were a few good apples in the bunch but the majority were more likely to side with Captain Valentine Morgenstern if push came to shove. The man had been in charge for more than a dozen years and he’d maintained his reign by kissing the right asses and getting rid of anyone foolish enough to question him. Luckily, Jace had managed to make some powerful allies himself and Morgenstern hadn’t succeeded in ousting him, though it wasn’t for lack of trying.

Jace didn’t answer as Morgenstern strode towards him; he just held the pad of paper up briefly.

“Let me know when he’s booked,” Morgenstern said.

“We’re still waiting for Alaric to get back with witness statements and Raj is finishing up with his friend,” Jace said as he glanced at the interview room next to the one he’d just exited.

“Fucker can sit in lock-up while you get the paperwork started,” Morgenstern snapped.

Jace leaned back against the door. “You seem pretty certain what the outcome’s going to be,” he said casually, though he was feeling anything but casual at the moment.

“Guy’s a loser who went after a well-respected citizen-”

“Santiago’s record shows nothing since he was a kid. And Victor Aldertree’s hardly an angel,” Jace observed. “I checked his record before I went in there,” he said as he motioned over his shoulder. “Aldertree was stopped twice for suspicion of driving under the influence in the last year alone. Looks like his father’s got some pretty good lawyers-”

Morgenstern’s thick finger was thrust in his face. “His father has served this city for more than twenty years-”

Jace laughed. He knew Aldertree senior and the circle he ran in much better than Morgenstern ever would. “The father’s a pretentious piece of shit who’s been buying every position he’s ever had since his father left him all his money after he dropped dead while fucking a hooker in the front seat of his Town Car,” Jace quipped.

  
Morgenstern’s face turned a mottled shade of red, but before he could lay into Jace like he clearly wanted, the door to the next interview room over opened and Raj stepped out.

“Well?” Morgenstern shouted.

Raj hesitated for a moment at the tension he was witnessing. Jace couldn’t blame him – the young cop had been on the force less than a year after transferring from Brooklyn. He seemed like a good enough guy but it was looking more and more like the officer wasn’t going to have the balls needed to stand up to Morgenstern.

“Alaric called in with the witness statements. They match Underhill’s story,” Raj said as he held up the statement that he’d collected from Raphael’s friend. “He’s banged up pretty bad.”

Jace snatched the statement from Raj before Morgenstern could get his hands on it. He scanned it and then handed it to Morgenstern. “Underhill and Santiago’s statements line up,” he said. “Santiago was defending Underhill.”

Something was off in the level of anger radiating off of Morgenstern as he studied both statements. A snort left his thin lips and he shoved the documents against Raj’s chest and stomped off without another word.

“Uh, what happens now?” Asked Raj.

Jace watched Morgenstern storm back into his office and slam the door. “Release them both. Find out if Underhill wants to press charges against Aldertree,” Jace said.

Raj glanced nervously over Jace’s shoulder at the interview room Raphael was waiting in. “Where are you going?” he asked, his voice higher than normal. Jace was guessing the man had gotten a good look at Raphael and his imposing size as he was being escorted to the interview room and was less than eager to confront the man directly, even if it was with good news.

“I’m going to take a piss,” Jace muttered. The last thing he was interested in was setting eyes on Raphael Santiago again.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Any word on Simon?” Raphael asked as he extended his hand to shake Ragnor’s.

“No,” Ragnor responded as he motioned for Raphael to take a seat on the other side of the desk from him. Raphael dropped down into the chair as he studied the other man. He respected the hell out of Ragnor and had gotten to know him well in the past year as they scoured the unforgiving terrain of the Middle East in their search for Simon. The oldest of the four brothers had started to look worn down in recent months as each fruitless search for Simon ended the same way. The dark-haired co-founder of Down-world Security Group had never given up hope though, and he and his brother Magnus had spent endless amounts of money and time to try to bring their younger brother home.

But Ragnor’s relief at finding his brother alive had been short-lived upon their arrival home a couple of weeks ago because three days after he’d gotten Simon settled in his house, Simon had attacked Ragnor’s girlfriend, Catarina. Raphael didn’t know all the details but apparently a gun had been involved. It hadn’t surprised Raphael to find out had Simon had gone off the deep end because he’d noticed something off in the young man from the moment they’d left the military hospital in Germany.

Simon had been withdrawn as expected but there’d been a wariness in his eyes too. A haunted look that had held Raphael’s attention from the moment they took off until the moment they landed in New York. Ragnor’s efforts to draw his brother out during the flight had been ignored and the way Simon had held onto the armrests of his seat had Raphael suspecting he was barely hanging on to his control. Every noise, every conversation had seemed to pain Simon in some way and Raphael had found himself wanting to soothe his fingers over the tightly drawn skin that stretched across sharp cheekbones.

“How’s Catarina?” Raphael asked.

“She’s okay,” Ragnor answered. “Still blaming herself for Simon disappearing.”

While Simon had left Catarina unharmed before disappearing from Ragnor’s house in the dead of night, his mistrust of his brother’s lover hadn’t dissipated and he’d ended up following Catarina over the next couple of weeks in the hopes of finding some proof against her to show she was unworthy of the oldest brother. In a surprise twist of fate, it was Simon who saved Catarina from a stalker tied to her past. He’d shot the man before he’d been able to put a bullet through Catarina’s chest like he’d planned. Simon had been taken into custody as part of the investigation into the shooting and when he’d finally been released, he’d taken off again, leaving only a note behind telling his brothers not to look for him.

“Anyone’s to blame, it’s that fucker at the precinct,” Raphael muttered. He knew his description of Jace Wayland was harsh but the humiliation of having to blurt out his shameful secret still stung. And to have to sit there and recite his statement to the high and mighty Detective had burned his insides like acid.

“Jace’s hands were tied,” Ragnor said, his eyes pinning Raphael where he sat. “That man has been good to this family.”

Raphael shifted in his chair. It was a well-deserved rebuke but it still smarted.

“I hear you two had a run-in yesterday,” Ragnor said.

Fuck. He’d actually started warming up to this job too. “Thanks for the opportunity,” he muttered as he stood to go.

“Sit your ass back down, Raphael,” Ragnor drawled as if unsurprised by Raphael’s automatic assumption that he was being let go. “Jace told me what happened. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

That caught Raphael off guard and he slowly sank back down. The only ones who’d ever given a shit about him were Andrew and his mother. “I’m fine,” he said softly.

“How’s your friend?” Ragnor asked. “Andrew, right?”

Raphael nodded. “He’s okay,” he said warily.

“Good,” Ragnor said with a nod. “We’ve terminated our contract with Aldertree’s firm-”

“What?” Raphael interrupted, not sure he’d heard right.

“Aldertree’s investment firm was a client. We were doing some analysis on their network security,” Ragnor explained.

“Are you saying…” Raphael couldn’t even get his thought out at first. “Are you saying you ended the relationship because of what happened to Andrew?”

“Down-world Security doesn’t do business with pricks who pay to keep their piece of shit kids out of trouble. Jace clued us in on that little fucker’s antics and how Victor’s father uses his political connections to get Victor off each time. Hopefully your message got through last night but if it didn’t, we can provide your friend with round the clock security until our legal team can hurt Victor Aldertree and his father where it counts most – their reputations,” Ragnor declared.

Raphael couldn’t say if he was more surprised by the offer or how riled up Ragnor had gotten on behalf of a man he didn’t even know.

“Uh, I’ll let him know,” Raphael said.

“Good,” Ragnor said as he settled back into his chair. It was then that Raphael noticed how tightly drawn Ragnor seemed. He looked tired and pale like he hadn’t slept and while Raphael could attribute that to what had been going on with Simon, the agonized look in his eyes was new.

“Something going on?” Raphael asked softly. He held back his surprise at what appeared to be a sheen of tears forming in Ragnor’s eyes. The other man took a moment to get himself under control before he spoke.

“One of my guys found out who the hacker is,” Ragnor said quietly. “It’s Jordan.”

_What the fuck?_

Shock went through Raphael’s system as he tried to piece together what Ragnor was telling him. Jordan was the youngest of the four brothers, though Raphael knew the man had to be in his mid-twenties by now. He’d been removed from Ragnor and Magnus’ custody when he was just eight years old after his biological father showed up to claim him. At eighteen and fifteen respectively, Ragnor and Magnus hadn’t had the funds or the resources necessary to keep their little brother, but they hadn’t stopped searching for him in the many years since he’d been taken away.

“Are you sure?” Raphael asked.

Ragnor nodded. The hack into WSG’s servers had started weeks earlier when information about Catarina’s past was taken. Ragnor and Magnus had only recently discovered that more hacks had occurred, though everything that had been taken had been related to Ragnor and Magnus’ personal lives instead of their business. Which made perfect sense now if the suspect really was Jordan.

“I’m sorry, Ragnor,” Raphael said. God, this family couldn’t catch a break. If Jordan was stealing sensitive information, it could only be for one reason – to hurt his brothers.

“I may need to pull you in at some point,” Ragnor said. “So far he’s just going after information but if it turns into something more…”

“Of course,” Raphael responded. “Is there anything I can do?”

Ragnor shook his head. “We’re in a holding pattern until Jordan makes his next move. Magnus is hopeful that he’ll come around…” Ragnor said.

“But you’re not so sure,” Raphael observed. Ragnor didn’t answer him and he didn’t need to. He could tell that Ragnor was near his breaking point so he quietly stood. “Whatever you guys need, Ragnor,” Raphael said softly. Ragnor managed a nod and Raphael quickly left the office. He shook his head as he headed towards his car. For once, his life actually seemed like a cakewalk compared to what these brothers had been forced to endure.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“How’s it going?” Raphael asked as he headed behind the bar and searched out a beer.

“Quiet, thankfully,” Andrew replied as he continued cleaning the glasses in front of him. Raphael popped the top off the beer and took a long swallow as his eyes skated over his friend. At 25 years old, Andrew Underhill had seen more in his short life than he should have. And he’d paid more too. From the moment they’d met in Iraq, Raphael had felt drawn to the younger man, though not for the reasons he would have suspected.

Andrew was a truly beautiful man with his blonde hair and warm, brown eyes. He was just around 6’ and had a lean, swimmer’s build that should have had Raphael trying to get in his pants from day one since the man was exactly his type. But something about the kind-hearted, fun-loving guy who was always smiling had Raphael wanting more than a quick fuck. Being around Andrew was easy and relaxing – the guy just made you feel good. Even with all the shit he’d been through, Andrew never lost his sense of humour or his positive outlook on life. But the bruises on his face and swollen lip were a stark reminder that not everyone appreciated Andrew for the gentle soul he was.

“You’ll break the glass if you keep doing that,” Andrew said quietly as he motioned to the hand Raphael had clenched around the glass bottle. He set it down on the counter just to be on the safe side and reached up to tilt Andrew’s face to the side. Even in the dim lighting he could see the angry purple and blue colours mixing together over the swollen skin.

“You putting ice on this?” he asked gently as he released him.

Andrew produced an icepack from the small sink. “Yes, Dad,” he said with a smirk. Raphael smiled and grabbed his beer.

“You call that cop today to tell him you changed your mind about pressing charges?” Raphael asked.

Andrew’s lowered gaze answered his question.

“Damn it, Andrew, that fucker needs to be punished,” Raphael bit out.

“I think you took care of that last night,” Andrew murmured. “Besides, I can take care of myself,” he insisted. Raphael knew they were bordering in sensitive territory so he let it go for now.

“You off soon?” Raphael asked as he saw Andrew shift his weight, a sure sign that the man was in pain.

Andrew nodded. “Jocelyn is closing up,” he said.

Jocelyn was amazing. She was the only woman Raphael had ever met that nearly matched him in size and temperament. But around Andrew, all her rough edges disappeared and she became mother hen to him. She’d sooner throw every single one of the patrons out of the bar before she let go of Andrew because he had one of his “moments” while on the job.  
“What did you say?” Andrew suddenly asked, his brow narrowed in confusion as he glanced at Raphael. But it was like Andrew was staring right through him and his eyes began to dart around the room as if trying to figure out where he was.

“Andrew,” Raphael whispered as he brushed his hand over Andrew’s uninjured cheek and forced him to focus on him. “Andrew, look at me,” he said softly and he gently rubbed his thumb along Andrew’s skin. It took only seconds for Andrew to come back to himself.

“Shit, sorry,” Andrew murmured as he pulled free of Raphael’s hold.

Before Raphael could respond, someone shouted “Bartender, another!” from the other end of the bar. The voice was heavily slurred.

“Another satisfied customer?” Raphael asked with a grin as he glanced up at the drunken figure huddled over an empty glass.

“He was satisfied three shots ago,” Andrew mused.

“You know him?”

Andrew shook his head. “Not a regular. I offered to call him a cab. I told him that was his last one,” he said as he nodded at the man. When he started heading towards the guy, Raphael grabbed his arm.

“Finish up, I’ll take care of it.”

Andrew looked like he was about to argue so Raphael quickly moved past him and headed towards the opposite end of the long bar. There were only a couple of other customers in the place which wasn’t a surprise since Jocelyn’ bar was a hole-in-the-wall establishment that was surrounded by nothing but warehouses and industrial shops. He’d never understand what had possessed her to open up shop in such a dead neighbourhood when the tourist-filled waterfront was just a few streets over.

“Come on, buddy, time to call it a night,” Raphael said as he got closer. His pace slowed as something familiar about the man’s size and frame had his gut churning…and his dick reacting.

“Fuck off, give me another,” the man mumbled as he pushed his empty glass forward.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” Raphael sighed as he came to a stop in front of none other than Jace Wayland.

“You know him?” Andrew asked as he came to a stop next to Raphael.

“Unfortunately,” Raphael responded as he reached out and grabbed the glass that Jace had started rolling under his palm. Jace looked up at him with bloodshot, bleary eyes. “He’s the cop who interviewed me yesterday,” Raphael murmured as he handed the glass to Andrew.

Andrew must have heard something in his voice because he said, “I’ll call him a cab, Raphael. Don’t worry about it.”

Raphael studied Jace whose eyes had drifted shut when he rested his cheek against his hand. The man was a far cry from twenty-four hours ago. His clothes were wrinkled and looked suspiciously like what he’d been wearing the day before and his hair was sticking up all over the place like he’d been endlessly running his fingers through it.

“No,” Raphael said softly. “I’ll make sure he gets home.”

Raphael could feel Andrew’s curious gaze on him so he quickly went around the bar.

“He pay his tab?” Raphael asked.

“He gave me a hundred bucks up front and told me to keep ‘em coming till it ran out.”

Shit, that was a lot of booze. Jace Wayland had clearly set out to get plastered which meant he was either a raging alcoholic or something else was going on. Since he hadn’t smelled even a whiff on the man yesterday, his gut was telling him the detective had been looking to drown his sorrows, not feed an addiction.

“Consider the rest a tip,” Raphael said as he wrapped his hand around Jace’s upper arm. “Come on, Detective. Let’s take a ride.”

“Want a drink,” Jace muttered stubbornly but Raphael ignored him and easily dragged him off the barstool. Unfortunately Jace’s balance was off and he stumbled into Raphael, his wide chest brushing over Raphael’s in the process. The contact had Raphael cursing under his breath as his whole body lit up with desire and his first thought was that someone as big and strong as Jace would be able to withstand even the roughest fuck.

Raphael forced away the sudden image of Jace on his hands and knees and reached his arm around his waist to hold him upright. He doubted that someone as straight laced as Jace Wayland would appreciate the direction his thoughts had taken. Raphael had excellent gaydar and it wasn’t even pinging in the slightest as Jace leaned heavily against him.

“Text me when you get home,” Raphael called over his shoulder to Andrew as he walked him towards the door. It swung open as he neared it.

“Sweetie, I told you your looks were gonna go someday, but even you can still do better than this,” Jocelyn said with a hearty laugh as she held the door open for him and eyed Jace up and down. “He’s pretty though,” she said in appreciation. “Thought you liked ‘em a little scrawnier.”

“Funny,” Raphael muttered as he passed the woman. Her burnt orange hair was in its usual braid and the tight top she was wearing showed her ample cleavage and thick waistline. Jocelyn was beautiful but between her blunt personality and no-nonsense demeanour, she’d had her fair share of interest from the opposite sex. Little did they know that Jocelyn only had eyes for the pretty little wife she kept stashed at home.

“How is he?” Jocelyn asked as she glanced into the dark bar. Raphael didn’t need to ask who she was talking about.

“I think his leg’s bothering him,” Raphael said. “He needs to get off his feet.”

That was enough to get Jocelyn moving. Raphael wasn’t even an afterthought as she hurried inside and he almost felt a little bit guilty for setting Andrew in her sights. But he knew Andrew would never admit to any discomfort and Jocelyn was the only person he wouldn’t argue with.

“Gonna be sick,” he heard Jace mutter and Raphael managed to manoeuvre him away from the main part of the sidewalk and against the brick wall before he puked. When he was finally done, Jace swiped a sleeve over his mouth. “Tired,” he said softly. It didn’t make sense to Raphael but Jace’s words actually sounded more sad than drunk.

“I know,” Raphael answered as he steered Jace to his car. He had no idea if Jace had driven here but he supposed it was good that Jace had picked Jocelyn’s bar because Andrew was practically a Nazi when it came to making sure patrons didn’t get behind the wheel if it seemed like they’d indulged even just a little too much. Even the unruliest of bar goers didn’t stand a chance when Andrew offered the limited options of either a call to the local cab company or the police department.

Raphael got Jace settled into the front seat of his SUV and searched his pockets.

“Did you drive here, Detective?”

Jace’s gaze settled on him and a soft, almost serene smile split his lips. “Raphael,” he said and the sound of that husky voice skimmed over Raphael’s senses like the gentlest of caresses. “Like the Ninja Turtle,” Jace said with a snort.

If the guy wasn’t so fucking hot when he got all soft and bleary, Raphael might have punched him. Even worse though, if he hadn’t just thrown up what seemed like a gallon’s worth of booze, Raphael would have done something far more stupid like run his tongue along the firm, glistening lips until they opened for him.

After several seconds, Raphael found what he was looking for in Jace’s jacket pocket. A quick look at his wallet gave Raphael the address he needed. There were a set of keys too and he compared the make on the key fob that was attached to the small, silver keyring to the cars parked along the street in front of the bar. There was no match but he supposed the man could have parked around the corner.

Jace had nodded off by the time Raphael got him buckled in and it took him only fifteen minutes to reach the city’s south side. The apartment building was extremely ordinary looking and less than what he would have expected for someone on a Detective’s salary to be living in. It wasn’t actually run-down or in a poor neighbourhood – there was just nothing homey about it. No pretty landscaping, no nice balconies and patios. Just a faded brick building with a dozen or so units that looked exactly the same.

Raphael got out of the car and pulled Jace’s keys from his pocket. He found the key fob and pressed the lock button on it and was relieved when a plain, navy blue sedan at the end of the block lit up. So the man had had enough common sense not to drive. But it was also more proof that Jace’s plan had been to get shitfaced.

Raphael went around to the passenger side of his car and shook Jace awake. He grumbled a bit but didn’t fight Raphael as he hauled him to his feet and searched out the apartment number he’d seen on Jace’s license. He had to use his body to prop Jace up against the side of the door as he unlocked it and he bit back a groan when Jace’s hand grazed his waist as he tried to maintain his balance. 

God, he’d deserve a fucking medal after this was over.

It took several long, torturous seconds to get Jace into the apartment and the door locked behind them. His body felt like it was on fire from all the places Jace had been pressed up against him and he wondered if he’d done something wrong in a previous life to deserve the hell of lusting after a straight man. A straight, jackass of a man who was also a cop.

“Where’s your bedroom, Detective?” Raphael asked as he flipped on the lights. The place was clean but sparse. There weren’t any pictures on the walls and the furniture looked comfortable but basic. Nothing about the apartment gave him any hint into Jace’s life other than to say it was perfectly ordinary.

“Back there,” Jace said as he waved his arm half-heartedly towards the back hallway. The man’s bedroom wasn’t any better than the rest of the place and Raphael couldn’t help but wonder if he bought all his stuff from the same, low budget big box store. It wasn’t like Raphael was a connoisseur of fine living, but even he’d managed to pick out a few furnishings and decorative items that made his townhouse feel like it was his. And he’d only been living in the place for two weeks.

A sigh of relief went through Raphael as he deposited Jace’s weight onto the bed. He ignored the strange, empty feeling that overcame him at no longer having the other man’s body heat seeping through his own clothes and leaned down to pull Jace’s shoes off. He managed to get Jace’s jacket off too but that was as far as he was willing to go because putting his hands on Jace seemed like a bad idea. Touching his skin seemed like an even worse one.

Jace’s eyes drifted shut as he shifted his body in an effort to get more comfortable and Raphael took a moment to study the relaxed features of his face. When he forced himself to turn to go, he was surprised to feel a hand close over his. He glanced back at Jace and saw that his eyes were half-open though he was still clearly out of it.

“Tell Magnus I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t know how else to keep him safe.”

Jace’s voice was so quiet that Raphael had to drop down next to the bed to hear him. “Who?”

Jace murmured a response but his words were unintelligible.

“Who did you have to keep safe, Jace?” Raphael asked. Nothing could have prepared Raphael for the one word that left Jace’s mouth on his next shallow exhale of breath.

“Simon.”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The familiar mix of shame and desire coursed through Jace as he opened the motel room door. It had been nearly a month since the last time he’d needed this and he’d spent the entire day wishing that need away. But no amount of arrest reports or suspect interrogations had taken the edge off and he’d already been dialling the familiar number before he’d even exited the station.

His eyes instantly searched out the chair in the opposite corner of the room and he sighed in relief when his vision adjusted to the darkness and he was able to pick out the shadowy figure he’d been looking for. As the door closed, he engaged the deadbolt and then reached up to flip the security latch. The man didn’t speak or move as Jace removed his firearm and placed it on the nightstand next to the bed and there was no discernible reaction as he began to unbutton his shirt. It was exactly as it always was and the routine eased his nerves somewhat while his body hummed with excitement.

Instead of letting his shirt fall to the ground, Jace draped it over the end of the bed. His fingers went to his pants and it took only seconds to work them free and drop them to his ankles. His underwear followed though it took some shifting around since his cock was like a steel pipe. But he didn’t kick the pants free – he simply leaned over and placed his hands on the mattress and waited. It wasn’t long before the figure rose and slowly walked around the bed, his long fingers reaching for the button on his slacks. He’d already removed his jacket, though he’d left his shirt on – Jace couldn’t remember a time that he’d actually taken it off and the fact that he didn’t was irrelevant. His chest wasn’t what Jace needed.

Once the man was out of his line of sight, Jace focused on the opposite wall. He hated the picture that hung there – he suspected it was supposed to be a painting of some perfect little seaside community with happy couples and families walking along the waterfront as boats bobbed in the calm waters of the harbour. The sunset was a sickening shade of rusty orange and washed out yellow and the blue sky couldn’t be bothered with even a single cloud. Completely ridiculous perfection.

The sound of a zipper being dragged down had Jace’s dick growing thicker and the sound of foil tearing had him sinking his teeth into his lower lip. He shouldn’t have waited so long to make the call. He shouldn’t have hoped that he could find some other way to ease the ache in his gut.

“How do you want it?”

“Hard,” Jace said in the moment before a finger pressed between his cheeks and cool lube chilled his heated skin. “Fast,” he added though it wasn’t something he needed to say. His partner always knew that fast accompanied hard. He could count on one hand the few times he’d wanted it any differently.

There was no warning as the man’s dick slipped between the globes of his ass and began breaching him. Jace bit back a hiss of discomfort as the crown sank into him and he bore down against the unyielding pressure. Pain went through him like a knife as the man shoved in to the root but he gave Jace no time to adjust before pulling out and slamming in again. Jace forced his eyes open to search out the one part of the fucking painting he liked as his body tried to adjust to the ruthless invasion.

There was barely enough natural light seeping through the crack in the curtains for Jace to make out the young man at the far edge of the painting. His expression was blurry but it didn’t matter because he did what he always did and imagined laughing brown eyes, a wide smile and dark hair that was just a little too long on top.

The knot inside Jace’s belly began to unfurl as the pain in his ass started to recede and pleasure simmered along his nerve endings. Broad hands closed over his hips and dragged him back to meet every thrust and Jace wondered if the man’s dark brown eyes were clouded over with lust. The only problem with his train of thought was that he knew for a fact that the man behind him had green eyes, not brown ones.

“Harder,” Jace snapped as an image he didn’t want began to filter through his mind. He tried to focus on the painting once more but the image of the young man wouldn’t stick. The only brown eyes he saw were the ones that looked up at him from the bed in a haze of pleasure as the warm body beneath his drew Jace in while another, heavier body forced Jace farther down. The hips snapping against Jace’s were accompanied by one heavily tattooed arm wrapping around his waist and the other coming down to rest on the bed next to them. 

_Them._

Jace shouted as his orgasm washed through him and he couldn’t stop the moans that escaped his lips every time the cock buried deep inside of him pulsed and throbbed. His own release dripped down his hand as he continued to stroke himself to match the aftershocks winding through him. The fingers digging into his hips eased and Jace closed his eyes as the still semi-hard shaft pulled free of his ass. Before the man had even stepped away from him, Jace felt the familiar cold seep through his body once more and as he watched the man head towards the bathroom, Jace closed his eyes in despair. He managed to lower himself so that he was sitting on the bed but not even his sore ass could ease the burning pain that was spreading throughout his entire body.

“Here.”

A washcloth was pressed into his hand. Jace wiped himself clean and dropped the washcloth on top of the thin bedspread before he stood to drag up his pants.

“You okay?”

The silky smooth voice sounded harsh to Jace’s ears and he wondered why. Maybe it was because they never spoke afterwards. Then again, they rarely spoke before or during either.

“Isn’t this against the rules?” Jace said quietly as he reached for his shirt. The man was somewhere behind him now, probably getting his own clothes back in order.

“You said someone else’s name this time,” the man replied, ignoring Jace’s question.

Jace was so thrown off by the comment that he actually turned around. His eyes had adjusted enough to the dim interior of the room that he could see the man tucking his shirt into his slacks.

“What?” Jace whispered in horror.

“Raphael,” the guy said. “All the other times it was Simon, but today it was Raphael.”

_Jesus._

Jace sank back down on the bed. He knew the guy wasn’t offended that he’d said someone else’s name since neither of them were here for any other reason than sex, but he hadn’t even been aware he was doing it at all. Using Simon’s image was bad enough but to be calling out for him? And now Raphael? 

_What the fuck was wrong with him?_

“Sebastian…” Jace said.

“It’s like everything else, Jace. What happens in this room, stays in this room,” Sebastian said.

Jace didn’t look up when he felt Sebastian stop next to him. Between Sebastian’s revelation and his almost gentle tone, Jace was feeling raw and exposed.

“You were close today, Jace.”

Jace looked up at the tall man who stood less than three feet from him. It was still too dark to make out his face but Jace already knew what he’d see if the lights were on. Blonde hair, mossy green eyes, wide, strong jaw.

“Close to what?” Jace asked.

“Close to the point where what I can give you isn’t enough anymore. I’m not into hurting the guys I’m with, so if that’s what you want…” Sebastian said. He didn’t finish the statement as he dragged on his jacket and left the room.

Jace closed his eyes as nausea rolled through him. How the hell could he explain that it hadn’t been about pain? At least not in the beginning when he and Sebastian had agreed upon this arrangement. But the other man was right – Jace was relying more and more on the pain to wipe away the reality that what they were doing wasn’t enough. Nothing Sebastian did would take away the aching, empty need that Jace was drowning in.

But maybe Sebastian was right and it was time to rethink the relationship, though the use of that word to describe what they had between them was a stretch. Even fuck buddies didn’t work since they rarely saw each other outside of this room. They were simply two guys who used each other to get off and the reasons they did so were their own. But apparently even Sebastian was starting to see through him. If Jace didn’t get his shit together soon, the world he’d spent his entire life building would come crashing down around him and people would realize he was a complete and utter fraud.

Feeling the need to get out of the suddenly too small room, Jace quickly buttoned up his shirt and reached for his gun. He was just tucking it into the holster when the alarm on his phone sounded. He froze for a second as the ringtone registered and then he snatched the phone out of his pocket. His heart leapt into his throat as the notification flashed across his screen and then he was rushing out of the room.

Jace was so distracted that he didn’t even register the sound of the passenger door on his car being opened and by the time he had his gun drawn and aimed, a powerful hand closed around his wrist.

“Put it away, Detective,” Raphael muttered. “Unless you want me to pull out my gun and we can compare whose is bigger,” he said dryly.

“Jesus Christ, Santiago,” Jace snapped as he yanked his arm free. His adrenaline surged through his blood as he eased his finger off the trigger. “Are you fucking insane?” he bit out. His words barely cleared his mouth before Raphael’s huge hand wrapped around his throat and dragged him forward so only inches separated their mouths.

“You have one minute to explain who is in that God damn cabin, Detective,” Raphael snarled as he glanced through the windshield at the log cabin that sat in the clearing more than 500 yards away. The fact that a jet black vintage GTO sat parked in front of the sparsely lit structure had Jace guessing Raphael already had his answer. Add in that Raphael didn’t seem to be concerned about the gun still in Jace’s hand and Jace was certain Raphael already knew what was going on.

He managed to wrench free of the hold Raphael had on him and snapped, “Why waste time telling you something you already know?”

“Then tell me something I don’t,” Raphael responded. “Like why I shouldn’t call Ragnor and Magnus right now and tell them how a guy they think of as family fucking stabbed them in the back.”

Jace shoved out of the car but left the door open so the noise of it being closed wouldn’t be heard through the open glade. Even though it was dark, Jace knew this place by heart and the surrounding mountains would act as an echo chamber for any and all sounds. And the last thing he wanted was for the occupant of the cabin to hear them.

Raphael got out too and Jace wasn’t surprised to see him mimic Jace’s move not to shut the car door. He strode around the car and got into Jace’s face once more and Jace wasn’t sure if it was out of anger or so their voices wouldn’t carry.

“How did you find me?” Jace asked. The road winding up the mountain wasn’t exactly teeming with traffic and he sure as hell would have noticed headlights behind him.

“Tracking device. I put it on your car after you said something about keeping Simon safe.”

Jace was so surprised that he couldn’t even find the words to respond.

“Short memory, Detective?” Raphael asked. When Jace didn’t answer, Raphael nodded knowingly. “Didn’t you wonder how you got home last night?”

Jace stiffed. His last memory had been staring at the row of bottles behind the bar in the little dive he’d found on the outskirts of downtown. He’d picked it because the chances of running into any people he knew were pretty slim considering how off the beaten path the establishment was and the cab ride home wouldn’t break the bank. But apparently there hadn’t even been a cab ride home like he’d thought after he’d woken up the next morning with one hell of a hangover.

“You drove me home?”

Raphael nodded.

“You go to that bar?” Jace grated out.

“Andrew works there,” Raphael said.

A faint memory of the hot bartender flitted through his mind. He hadn’t seen Andrew Underhill the day he’d interrogated Raphael so he hadn’t recognized him when he’d slid him a crisp hundred dollar bill.

“For a guy who’s supposedly smart enough to make detective, you sure do stupid shit. Getting shitfaced, hook-ups in flea-bag motels.”

Terror went through Jace at Raphael’s statement about the motel.

“Don’t worry, I don’t give a shit whose wife you’re fucking,” Raphael snapped.

Wife? Had Raphael not seen Sebastian leaving the room?

“What I do give a fuck about is how you know where Simon is,” Raphael ground out.

The relief that Raphael hadn’t discovered his secret was nearly palpable but the use of Simon’s name brought Jace back to the present.

“It’s my cabin,” Jace said. “I gave Simon the key and the security code when he needed to get away,” Jace finally admitted and wasn’t surprised when Raphael grabbed him by the throat once more.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Raphael was so enraged that it was everything he could do not to wrap both his hands around Jace’s thick neck and squeeze. To think Ragnor and Magnus had been torturing themselves for days wondering where their brother had disappeared to and this asshole had known all along – had lied to their faces.

“Explain,” he growled.

“After the D.A. signed off on the shooting as being justified, Simon wanted to leave. I tried to convince him to go back to his brothers but he wouldn’t even consider it. I knew it wasn’t safe for him out there on his own so I offered him use of the cabin. He said he’d think about it, but only if I promised not to come here…not to check on him. I agreed and gave him all the cash I had on me.”

The answer surprised Raphael. “So you’ve been coming here to check on him anyway?” he asked as he forced himself to release Jace. The feel of the man’s pulse beneath his fingers was too distracting. Jace’s hand reached up to rub at his throat and the move made Raphael’s cock jerk in his pants.

“No. I have an app on my phone that notifies me if anyone disables the security system. It wasn’t disabled until this afternoon. I have no idea where he’s been since the shooting.”

Raphael cursed the fact that it was too dark to see Jace’s face. The man had even been smart enough to disable the dome light in his car, presumably so that Simon wouldn’t see the vehicle where it was parked in a grove of trees at the base of the driveway.

“Why not tell Magnus and Ragnor?”

Jace snorted. “Do you really believe that if they know where he is, they’d be able to stay away?”

“He’s messed up Jace. He needs help.” 

_Jesus, why the hell did using the man’s name sound so right on his tongue?_

“You think I don’t fucking know that?” Jace said. “But I also know that short of institutionalizing him, Magnus and Ragnor wouldn’t have been able to keep him from taking off if that was what he wanted to do.”

Raphael sighed. “So what exactly was your plan?”

Before Jace could answer, a gunshot rang out and both he and Jace instantly ducked behind the car. But Raphael instinctively knew the muffled sound hadn’t come from outside and he was running towards the cabin a second after a horrified Jace uttered Simon’s name.

Raphael didn’t bother slowing as he rammed into the cabin door and it was only his forward momentum that had him dropping his upper body enough so that the bullet that whizzed by him slammed into the doorframe instead of his head. His relief was short-lived though, as he saw a gun aimed directly at him and his eyes connected with Simon’s deadened gaze just as he began to pull back on the trigger.

“Simon, don’t!” Jace shouted as his large frame filled the doorway and the gun shifted off of Raphael and onto Jace. Raphael instantly tried to step between the two men but Jace’s hand closed over his arm to keep him from moving. 

“Simon, it’s me,” Jace said softly.

Simon’s warm brown eyes shifted back and forth between Raphael and Jace several times before he finally settled them on Jace and his finger eased off the trigger.

“Jace?” he finally asked, his voice sounding softer than Raphael would have expected. It was then that Raphael noticed the change in the younger man’s sunken eyes. They’d gone from cold and empty to heavy with confusion. It was as if he’d been jarred awake from a deep sleep and didn’t know where he was or how he’d gotten there.

“Yeah, Simon, it’s Jace,” Jace said as he slowly moved so that he was standing in front of Raphael.

“Did you see them out there?” Simon asked hopefully. “Did I get one of them?”

“There’s no one out there,” Jace said gently.

Simon’s arm shook in agitation and he suddenly jerked the gun up and down. “Don’t lie to me! I heard them!”

“Who?”

“Them!” Simon shouted. “They’re coming for me! They’re going to try and stick me back in that…that hole!”

“Simon, listen to me,” Jace said. “No one will ever hurt you again, do you understand me?”

Simon shook his head vigorously. “You can’t stop them, Jace,” he whispered. “No one can stop them.”

Raphael watched in horror as Simon took several steps backwards until his back hit the wall and then he slid down to the floor, his knees bent up, the gun resting in his lap. It was Simon’s fixation on the gun that had Raphael taking a step forward.

“Simon, do you remember Raphael?” Jace asked and Simon’s watery gaze lifted to connect first with Jace, then Raphael. Simon shook his head.

“Raphael got you out of that place.”

Raphael stayed put as Jace moved closer. He managed to lower himself in front of Simon so they were nearly eye level but the gun’s position was still precarious and Raphael didn’t miss the way Simon had his finger resting on the trigger.

“I don’t remember,” Simon said quietly.

“Raphael,” Jace called over his shoulder though his eyes never left Simon’s. “How many of the guys that were holding Simon did you leave alive?”

“None,” Raphael answered.

“Are you going to let anyone take him?” Jace asked.

“No fucking way,” Raphael said firmly, hoping like hell Simon could see he was telling the truth. When Simon’s eyes shifted to his for a moment, he thought he saw a brief flicker of hope.

“No one ever touches you again, Simon,” Jace vowed. “They won’t get past me. They won’t get past Raphael. And you and I both know they sure as hell won’t get past your brothers,” Jace added and Raphael could almost hear the smile in his voice.

Simon’s free hand shook as he came up to wipe at his face. “I don’t want to see them,” he whispered.

“You don’t have to. They don’t know you’re here.”

Raphael was surprised when Simon glanced up at him as if seeking confirmation…or reassurance. Raphael nodded. “You decide if and when you’re ready,” he said. He knew in that instant that it was a promise he wouldn’t go back on, even if it cost him the newfound relationship with Magnus and Ragnor.

Simon nodded and when Jace finally reached to take the gun from his hand, Simon released it. Tension drained out of Raphael’s body and when Jace extended the gun behind his back, Raphael quickly stepped forward and took it.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Jace felt a ripple of comfort go through him when Raphael’s fingers brushed his as he took the gun. The past two minutes had been some of the worst in his life and had started when that single gunshot rang through the night. As he and Raphael had run towards the cabin, images of Simon lying lifeless on the floor in a pool of blood had flashed through his mind. The sound of wood cracking as Raphael had broken the door down had been punctuated by another gunshot and the relief at seeing Simon alive and well had lasted only a split second as Jace’s mind registered that Raphael stood no chance of escaping the line of fire a second time.

The recognition in Simon’s eyes and voice as he’d whispered Jace’s name had given Jace hope but then there had been that heart wrenching moment where Simon’s eyes had glazed over with despair and hopelessness and Jace’s heart had nearly stopped when Simon’s battered gaze had fallen on the gun he’d been cradling in his lap.

“Have you eaten anything today?” Jace asked as he reached out and closed his hand around Simon’s thin arm. This was the closest he’d been to the younger man and his condition was even more shocking than Jace had first realized. Simon was only an inch or two shorter than Jace but he was so skinny and pale that he seemed tiny compared to Jace and could easily pass for a corpse. His eyes looked large in their sunken sockets and his skin was drawn tight over sharp cheekbones. His once thick black hair was gone and the closely cropped shadow of growth that replaced it couldn’t hide several scars on his head. More scars mottled his face and a surge of rage went through Jace at the thought of the men who’d put them there.

“No,” Simon said and it took Jace a moment to remember he’d asked Simon about food.

“Raphael, can you check the pantry? There should be some soup in there,” Jace said as he helped Simon to his feet. Simon had become quiet and withdrawn but he didn’t fight Jace as he led him to the small kitchen table. Raphael was already heating up the soup in the microwave by the time Jace got Simon settled and Jace moved quickly to the refrigerator and found the can of soda he was looking for. He prayed that the jolt of sugar would help ease some of the shock that Simon was experiencing.

“Here,” Jace said as he wrapped Simon’s hands around the can. Simon seemed surprised to see the soda resting between his fingers but he obediently drank some down. He flinched when Raphael appeared next to him and eased the bowl of soup in front of him. He stared tiredly at it for a moment but finally picked up the spoon next to it and began slowly eating. Raphael ended up reheating the food twice before Simon managed to finish it all and when he did finally put the spoon down, his eyes were heavy with exhaustion.

Jace led Simon to the smaller of the two bedrooms in the cabin. It had been the one Jace had used as a child when he joined his grandfather on his fishing trips. While not nearly as large as the master bedroom, the room was the perfect one to stick Simon into since it had only one small window that would be a challenge to climb out of. There was no way Jace was risking another disappearing act like the one Simon had pulled at Ragnor’s house the night he’d gone after Ragnor’s girlfriend, Catarina.

God, what a clusterfuck, Jace thought as he flipped on the lights. Jace’s intent had been to help Simon but all he’d done was make things worse. And if Simon’s aim hadn’t been off by the smallest of fractions, Raphael would be dead.

Jace guided Simon to the bed. As much as he knew Simon needed a shower, the man clearly needed sleep more. As he pulled back the covers, Simon stood next to him, his arms wrapped around his waist as if trying to soothe himself. Jace maneuvered him into a sitting position on the bed and got Simon’s shoes off before helping him under the covers. His heart ached as Simon’s eyes slid closed and it was all he could do not to run his fingers through Simon’s hair.

The man before him was nothing like the old Simon but Jace still wanted him. He’d met Simon for the first time at Magnus and Dot’s wedding and though Simon hadn’t known it, his presence had changed something for Jace. The beautiful, happy go lucky 18 year old with the perpetual smile on his face and dashing brown eyes had confirmed for Jace that his future wouldn’t consist of the wife and kids he’d been expected to have. After years of denying what his body wanted, it had taken only one look at Simon for Jace to know he would always crave the presence of another man instead of a woman.

But the worst part was that his gut had told him even then that it would be this one man that he wanted above all others and he’d been right. Jace had spoken less than a dozen words to Simon that night but he’d lost his heart to him almost instantly. It didn’t matter that Simon was straight, that he was younger or that they were technically related by law. And it didn’t matter that he hadn’t seen Simon again for several years after that. His heart hadn’t given a shit that a future with Simon was impossible. It hadn’t cared that being in love with someone so completely unattainable would torture Jace in the years that followed.

What had mattered was that when Simon had been led in handcuffs through the precinct doors just a few short days ago, it was his heart that had decided he needed to save Simon and his mind had been in overdrive ever since trying to make that happen. But all he’d ended up doing was making things worse.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Raphael watched Jace re-enter the kitchen from the back hallway that led to the bedrooms. The man looked as worn out as Simon had and Raphael guessed Jace was now the one crashing as his own adrenaline rush began to fade. Jace paused when he saw him sitting at the table but his eyes quickly fell on the gun Raphael had placed in the centre. Simon’s gun.

“Serial number’s filed off,” Raphael said.

Jace slid into the chair across from him and reached for the illegal gun that Simon had bought off the streets. Raphael wasn’t surprised when Jace made sure the gun was empty. He examined it briefly and then put it back down before running his fingers through his hair in agitation.

“I gave him the money to buy food,” Jace muttered. “I didn’t even consider this,” he said as he stared at the gun. “I’m such a fool…”

“He would have found a way to get the gun whether you gave him money or not,” Raphael said. “It was obviously the only thing that made him feel even somewhat safe.”

Jace stood up and went to the refrigerator and yanked open the door. Raphael knew what he’d see – absolutely nothing. Jace slammed the door shut and leaned back against it. “We need to call his brothers,” he finally said.

“And break the promise we made him?” Raphael said. “No. One hundred fucking percent no.”

“You saw him, Raphael,” Jace snapped. He came back to the table and picked up the gun. “He looked at this like it was his only way out. If we hadn’t gotten here in time…”

“The first shot he fired went through the wall near the back door.”

After a brief glance over his shoulder at the door in question, Jace lowered the gun once more. “We can’t risk leaving him alone. He needs professional help. If it means having him committed-” Jace said softly.

Raphael rose and slammed his hands down on the table. “He doesn’t belong in a place like that!” Anger went through Raphael at even the thought of Simon being pumped full of drugs and being left in a corner somewhere to rot like a piece of garbage. He’d seen first-hand what passed for mental health care in the military system and there was no way in hell he would let Simon suffer through that after having survived so much.

“Raphael,” Jace began to say but Raphael cut him off.

“You want out, Jace? Go!”

“I want him safe, damn it!” Jace snapped though he kept his voice low. “I want to not have to tell his brothers they need to come down to the morgue to ID his body because he put a bullet in his brain. Or that he’s going to spend the rest of his life in a jail cell because he shot someone he thought was a threat!”

Raphael straightened. “Finally Detective, something we agree on.”

Jace fell silent at that and Raphael felt a strange urge to reach out and wipe the tension from his brow. Which made no fucking sense because he couldn’t stand the guy.

“What’s your plan?” Jace finally asked.

“We get him through the next few weeks. Make him feel safe enough so that he can focus on other things like seeing a professional and reaching out to his brothers. One of us is with him 24/7 for as long as it takes.”

“And if he doesn’t go for it?” Jace asked.

“That’s one choice he doesn’t get to make.”

  
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	2. Chapter: 2

  
_“Simon, you have to do it.”_

_“No.”_

_“Don’t tell my parents…don’t tell them I was scared, okay?”_

_“Brandon, please, I can’t.”_

_“It hurts so bad Simon. Please, you have to make it stop…”_

_“No!”_

“Damn it Simon, wake up!”

Simon jolted awake as hard fingers dug into his shoulder. The ground beneath him was surprisingly smooth as he scrambled away from his attacker. Even the usually rough earth at his back felt wrong. There were no sharp edges digging into his skin or large rocks that forced his body to curve at unnatural angles. And the dust that perpetually coated his tongue and throat was gone too. And the light? Why was it so fucking light?

A shot of victory went through him as his fist connected with flesh and bone and the sound of a muffled grunt had him swinging out his leg in an effort to bring his captor all the way to the ground where he could strike a lethal blow. But there was no contact as his target anticipated the move and within seconds Simon was flat on his back, a heavy body holding him down.

“Simon, it’s me, Raphael!”

Simon fought like a man possessed but his body was too weak and it only took a minute before he was too winded to do anything other than twist and turn his body in a futile effort to knock his opponent free. His eyes slowly began to focus as the sensitivity lessened and he stilled when he realized he was looking at an intricate tattoo on a heavily muscled arm. He followed it up to where it disappeared beneath a black T-shirt.

“If you promise not to take another swing at me, I’ll let you go,” he heard a rumbly voice say. His gaze lifted until it met a pair of beautiful dark eyes that reminded him of a fall mornings he and his little brother used to watch from the window of the bedroom they’d shared as kids. Simon’s little brother had always been frightened because he knew the clouds would inevitably be followed by thunder and lightning but Simon had loved them because there was nothing more exciting than the rush of the entire house shaking as a blast of thunder swept over it.

“You’re Jace’s friend,” Simon finally said as the events from the previous night began to play through his head. There was a certain amount of time that remained lost to him but he did remember this man. “You gave me soup.”

Raphael’s smile was wide and softened his otherwise hard features. His dark hair, scarred face and huge body made him look like a biker on steroids but the chuckle that rumbled through his chest as he released Simon was strangely comforting.

“Yeah, well, it was either that or a can of fruit cocktail. I hate that shit,” he added as he climbed to his feet and reached his hand down. Simon took it but quickly released it as soon as he was upright. Raphael’s hand was warm…too warm.

“I used to do that,” he heard Raphael say and he glanced up from the hand he’d been staring at and saw that Raphael was looking at the bed sheet Simon had placed on the floor in the corner of the room. “Took me almost six months to get used to a mattress after I got out.” He looked down at the shoes Simon had put back on last night after he’d woken up. “Did that too…never would’ve guessed I’d need to teach myself how to sleep without shoes on.”

“You served?” Simon asked.

Raphael nodded. “173rd Airborne Brigade,” he said.

“Paratrooper?” Simon asked in surprise.

“Yeah. Always dreamed of flying fighter jets but that wasn’t in the cards so jumping out of a plane seemed like the next best thing,” Raphael responded. Something flickered in Raphael’s eyes but it disappeared just as quickly.

“What time is it?” Simon asked as his stomach rolled with hunger. It had been a while since he actually felt hungry and the sensation was foreign. His system had gotten so used to surviving on so little that the prospect of food actually nauseated him even as his body yearned for it.

“Just after nine.”

A glance at the single small window in the room told Simon it was morning instead of evening so that meant he’d actually slept through the night. He couldn’t even recall the last time that had happened. “Where’s my gun?” he asked as the familiar tingle began to make his skin itch. He didn’t wait for Raphael to answer as he went to the nightstand and began rifling through it.

“It’s not there,” Raphael said from behind him.

“Where is it? I need it,” Simon said quickly as he hurried to the dresser.

“It’s gone. You’re safe now – you don’t need it.” The pity in Raphael’s voice grated on his nerves.

“What do you mean it’s gone?” Simon snapped as he whirled on Raphael. But Raphael didn’t answer him and Simon tore out of the room and rushed to the kitchen and began searching all the drawers and cabinets.

“Simon, I swear to you, you’re safe.”

“Don’t you get it? I’ll never be safe!” Simon shouted. “They said they’d come after me! They’re going to find me…my brothers!”

“It was part of the act, Simon. They were trying to get in your head.”

Simon shook his head. Believing that was too big of a risk. “I want my fucking gun!” he yelled. But Raphael just looked at him sadly.

“Fuck!” Simon screamed and he yanked the drawer he was in the process of opening off its rollers and threw it to the floor. He scanned the contents before doing the same to the next drawer. His breath was coming in heavy pants as he kneeled down and searched through the mess.

“The knives are gone too,” Raphael said softly.

Simon rose and viciously kicked at the debris. He had been searching for a knife. Even the dullest butcher knife could still be deadly if wielded correctly and he would have been able to take at least two or three guys out before they got their hands on him again. He pushed past Raphael and headed for the front door.

“Your car’s been disabled.”

_What the fuck?_

Simon froze in the process of reaching for the doorknob. “No,” he heard himself whisper. Denial went through him at the realization that if what Raphael said was true, he was stuck here with no way out…no way to defend himself. He hurried out the door and rushed to his car. The GTO was exactly where he’d left it. He had no idea where the keys were but he could hotwire it if worse came to worse. He lifted the hood of the car and felt the panic rush through him as he searched the engine he’d painstakingly restored himself. Sure enough, the ignition and fuel pump fuses were both missing. He desperately looked around and his eyes lit up at the sight of the car sitting behind his.

“It’s disabled too and Jace took the fuses with him,” Raphael said from somewhere behind him.

At that point Simon lost it and he flew at the other man. But as before, Raphael anticipated his moves and quickly overpowered him.

“If you’ve got enough energy to keep taking swings at me, you’ve got enough energy to take a little walk. You can see for yourself that it’s just us out here,” Raphael said.

Strong fingers closed around his arm and started dragging him towards the woods that surrounded the cabin.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Raphael felt a surge of pity go through him as Simon’s eyes darted all around them. The man had only fought him for a few moments when Raphael had forced him onto a narrow hiking trail north of the cabin. Between the heavy plant growth that covered the path and the moderate incline, Simon was breathing hard within minutes. The additional anxiety of expecting someone to jump them at any moment had Simon’s hands clenched in perpetual fists and he flinched every time he or Raphael stepped on a branch. With each minute that passed and Simon’s anxiety failed to ease, doubt coursed through Raphael. What if he’d misjudged what he and Jace could do for this man?

The idea of condemning Simon to a future in a mental health facility that would dope him with drugs to keep him out of trouble went against everything Raphael believed in; he’d seen far too many good men get lost in the system that was supposedly designed to care for their specific needs. But could he and Jace really help ease Simon’s pain long enough that the young man could decide for himself to seek treatment? Last night he’d been so sure they could but seeing Simon’s despair as he’d realized he had no weapon or means of escape had ripped something open inside of Raphael.

“How about we take a break?” Raphael said softly when he saw the sweat forming on Simon’s flushed skin.

Simon didn’t answer him and he wasn’t sure if it was because he hadn’t heard him or he’d chosen to ignore him. It didn’t really matter since Simon made the decision to stop less than ten minutes later. He sank down onto a fallen log, his breath coming in shallow pants as he ran his palms back and forth over his thighs. Raphael carefully lowered himself down next to Simon and considered it a small victory when the other man didn’t move away from him.

“Why are you doing this?” Simon asked though his eyes continued to scan the area surrounding them.

Raphael remained silent as he considered his words carefully. “Believe it or not, I know a little bit of what you’re going through,” he finally said. When Simon remained silent, Raphael continued. “I tried to keep count of the number of men I killed when I was first deployed. Tried to remember their faces too. I guess I wanted to make sure I never got too comfortable doing it.”

“Did you?” Simon asked.

“Get comfortable?”

“Keep count?” Simon clarified.

“I lost track after a while. I still see some of the faces though. Especially the innocents.”

Simon shifted slightly and Raphael had to force himself to ignore the feel of Simon’s thigh brushing against his.

“First guy I killed was using a little boy as a shield,” Simon said quietly. “My aim was good but the guy jerked as he fell and his gun went off. Kid was gone before I could even get to him.”

As disheartening as their conversation was, Raphael was glad to see that Simon’s eyes had dropped to study his hands instead of the woods around them.

“I don’t think anyone ever gets comfortable with it,” Simon said. “Whether you kill one or a hundred.”

Raphael was surprised when Simon looked up at him. “Why are you doing this?” he asked again. The beautiful eyes that were shrouded with pain had Raphael reaching out to stroke his fingers over Simon’s face. Luckily he caught himself at the last moment and ran his fingers over his own head instead.

“Because I want you to be able to go home someday.”

Simon nodded. “I understand,” he whispered. Raphael didn’t like the tone he’d used to say it though. He sounded almost…disappointed. But that didn’t make any sense.

“What is it that you understand exactly?” Raphael asked.

Simon’s eyes stared straight ahead. “My brothers hired you to find me,” he said. “You’re just doing your job.”

This time Raphael did reach for Simon and the feel of the man’s early morning stubble felt amazing against Raphael’s fingers as he closed them around Simon’s chin and forced Simon to look at him.

“My ‘job’ ended the second you stepped onto American soil. I’m here because I know what a good man you are,” Raphael said. “Ragnor has been telling stories about you since the day he asked me to join the team to bring you home. You may not know me from Adam but I sure as hell feel like I know you. I want you to have a shot at a life…a real life. I don’t care if it’s the one you had before all this shit went down or a new one you create for yourself. As long as it’s your choice.”

Simon’s gaze softened and Raphael wondered what it would feel like to lift his thumb just enough so that he could drag it over the full, soft lips. Jesus, what the fuck was wrong with him? Not only was this guy straight, he was incredibly vulnerable and only a complete scumbag would be lusting after him right now.

Raphael forced himself to release his hold on Simon and dropped his hand. “You ready to head back?” he asked.

Simon considered it for a moment and no one was more surprised than Raphael when he said, “Let’s go a little bit farther.”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Why the hell wouldn’t his skin quit tingling? Simon’s hand travelled to his chin and smoothed over where Raphael had touched him, half expecting to find some evidence there that would explain the sensation that he’d felt when those thick fingers had held his face. And Raphael’s words…he sure as hell didn’t mince them because Simon had believed everything he’d said. The brief – and strange – disappointment that had come over Simon when he’d realized he was just a job to Raphael had disappeared when the bigger man had looked down at him with open honesty and explained what he wanted for Simon. Simon knew that the future Raphael envisioned for him wasn’t a realistic one, but God it had felt good to have someone want that for him.

“Jace is back,” he heard Raphael say and Simon nearly stumbled to a halt when he realized that not only had they completed a half circle and started heading back to the cabin, but that he hadn’t once searched the woods around him for shadows or focused on every snapping twig. 

Not since Raphael had touched him…

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Jace was in the process of grabbing a couple of shopping bags from the trunk of his car when his eyes fell on Raphael and Simon as they exited the woods. His eyes instantly scanned Simon for any sign of distress and although he looked tense and uncomfortable, it was a thousand times better than how he’d looked last night. And Raphael…well, Raphael looked like he always did – big, overbearing, arrogant…and fucking hot. Jace cursed as the dreaded image of the two men surrounding him filtered once more through his mind like it had when Sebastian had been fucking him. 

_Jesus, had that only been yesterday?_

“Hey,” Raphael said as he came over to the car and automatically began pulling bags from it. They’d come to a truce of sorts last night since they’d agreed that calling Simon’s brothers wasn’t an option at the moment and that together they might be able to get Simon to a place where he felt secure enough to make some reasonable decisions. But they’d both been too drained to work out the details and this morning they’d agreed that it would make sense for Jace to be the one to get some food and supplies since he knew the area and for Raphael to stay behind. In truth, Jace had felt uncomfortable at leaving Simon with a virtual stranger but it wasn’t like he’d had a lot of choice in the matter. It had been Raphael’s idea to disable the vehicles and remove any potential weapons from the cabin – an insight that Jace hadn’t even considered beyond getting rid of the gun.

“How’d it go?” Jace asked as his eyes settled on Simon who was staring at his GTO.

“A little rough,” Raphael said quietly. “I’ll explain later.”

Jace was wondering what ‘a little rough’ meant but he had his answer a minute later when he followed Simon and Raphael into the cabin. The kitchen was in a shambles and the way Simon had been staring at his car suddenly made sense.

“I’m going to go take a shower,” Simon said quietly.

“Here, I got you some fresh clothes,” Jace said as he handed Simon a couple of bags. “They might be a little big,” he said.

Simon’s eyes connected with his as he took the bags and that familiar ache settled in Jace’s gut. 

“Thanks,” Simon mumbled as he turned and disappeared into his room.

“Still think this was the best way to go?” Jace muttered as he stepped over the mess and opened the refrigerator.

“What I think is that you started all this,” Raphael snapped.

“Right,” Jace said. “And you get to be the big hero and save the day.”

“Your words,” Raphael quipped.

“God, you’re a piece of work,” Jace said as he began jamming the items from the grocery bag into the refrigerator.

“At least my plan didn’t involve arming a guy with severe PTSD and setting him loose on innocent people. For a cop-”

“What the fuck is your problem with cops?” Jace shouted as he slammed the refrigerator door closed. “Or are you just too stupid to come up with any other digs?”

Raphael’s eyes hardened but Jace was surprised when he turned and left the cabin instead of railing back at him. And then he remembered Raphael’s admission about being dyslexic on the day he’d interrogated him.

“Fuck,” he muttered and he quickly hurried after the other man. He didn’t have to go far because Raphael had stopped on the small porch.

“Raphael,” he began but all the wind got knocked out of him when Raphael grabbed him and slammed him up against one of the porch columns.

“Does it make you feel like a big man to look down on me, Detective?” Raphael snarled. Raphael’s fingers bit into his upper arms and Jace didn’t miss the sight of the blood on Raphael’s knuckles. A quick glance at the opposite column showed a smear of blood where Raphael had likely slammed his fist against the unforgiving wood.

“No-” Jace tried to say but Raphael cut him off.

“Go on, give me your worst, asshole. I’ve heard them all!” When Jace remained quiet, Raphael seemed to become more enraged. “No? Nothing? How about retard or idiot or shit for brains? Oh wait, that’s not the only part of me you have a problem with, is it?” Raphael bit out. “You think I’m a thug too. A criminal. A loser.”

Sadness went through Jace as Raphael continued to spit out slur after slur. He wished he could ask who’d flung such merciless, hateful words at this man at some point in his life but Raphael was too angry for Jace to even get a word in. His face was practically in Jace’s and venom dripped from his voice as he continued his tirade. But his next words had Jace’s blood running cold because they were all too familiar and the pain he felt in Raphael was his own.

“Pansy-ass queer, fagg-”

All thought and reason left Jace’s head as his need to undo the harm he’d unwittingly caused took over and he slashed his mouth over Raphael’s just in time to prevent that ugly last word from fully leaving his lips.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Raphael’s rant died the second Jace’s mouth closed over his and it took him several long moments to even process what was happening. His reaction to Jace calling him stupid had been unexpected and over the top, even for him, and he’d escaped outside to try to understand why a word that he’d heard so often in his life and that shouldn’t have had an impact on him anymore, had instead left him reeling with pain. He’d spent most of his life learning to be immune to the cruel taunts about his intelligence so Jace’s attack shouldn’t have even registered. But it had, and the feeling of weakness that had come with it had brought Raphael’s infamous temper to the surface and he’d lashed out at the porch column. But the biting pain in his hand had done nothing to ease the humiliation that was coursing through him and when Jace had followed him outside, Raphael’s only thought was that he needed to go on the offensive. He needed to show Jace that he had no power over him.

But that argument was shot to hell and all his anger disappeared as Jace’s tongue slipped between his lips and stroked over every surface of his mouth. The kiss was rough and desperate and fucking perfect and Raphael couldn’t hold back the moan that escaped him as Jace’s tongue licked his. At some point he must have released Jace’s arms because he found himself being turned around so that it was his back pressed up against the column. The hard cock brushing against his caused a burning deep in his abdomen as lust consumed him and he reached his hands down to grab Jace’s ass so that he could grind their hips together.

Fingers wrapped around the back of his neck to hold him still while he was tortured with kiss after kiss, each one deeper and needier than the last. But just as quickly as it had begun, it was over and Jace was pushing away from him, a look of horror passing through his gaze as his eyes met Raphael’s. It was definitely a ‘What the fuck have I done’ look and Raphael didn’t try to stop him when he quickly turned and went back into the cabin. God knew he needed a few minutes to figure out what the hell had just happened himself.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

No, No, No, No.

What the hell had he just done? Disbelief went through Jace as he reached out an arm to support himself against the kitchen counter. Had he really just fucking outed himself to a man he couldn’t stand…who couldn’t stand him?

Before he could stop himself, Jace ran his tongue along his lips and he shuddered at how sensitive they were. Raphael had tasted so much sweeter than he ever would have expected. And for someone so hard and unbending, Raphael had opened to him so beautifully…so willingly. The heat of his skin had burned Jace wherever he touched it and that slick tongue had returned every one of Jace’s seeking strokes. And their cocks…they’d found each other long before Raphael’s powerful hands had closed over Jace’s ass.

“Fuck,” Jace whispered and when he heard the front door open a tremor of fear went through him. He couldn’t deal with this right now. He quickly reached down and began cleaning up the mess on the floor.

“Jace…” he heard Raphael say softly.

“Want to give me a hand here?” Jace snapped. He hoped to God that his tone made it clear he wasn’t interested in discussion.

Raphael didn’t answer but Jace’s traitorous body could sense the bigger man just behind him. It would be so easy to turn around and pick up where they’d left off. Jace jammed one of the drawers back into place.

“Did you tell Simon what the plan was?” Jace asked.

“No, he didn’t,” Jace heard Simon say and he glanced up to see him standing in the doorway. His short hair was still slightly damp and the new jeans and T-shirt he was wearing hung loosely on his gaunt body. Jace had guessed correctly that the clothes would be too big but he’d deliberately chosen a larger size in the hopes that Simon would put enough weight on in the next few weeks to fill them out normally. Jace glanced at Raphael who was uncharacteristically silent.

“Why don’t we go sit down?” Jace suggested as he motioned to the living room.

Simon remained silent but he moved to the other room and Jace forced himself to ignore the heat of Raphael’s body as he brushed past him. His eyes found Simon standing near the fireplace, his arms hanging at his sides. But his hands were clenched and his features were drawn tight. It wasn’t a good sign.

Jace dropped down on the small couch and he didn’t miss the fact that Raphael placed himself by the front door. He was glad to see that Raphael had managed to get the door back on its hinges at least, even though there were several cracks running down the middle where the old wood had buckled under the pressure of Raphael’s weight.

“What do you remember about last night?” Jace asked Simon.

Simon seemed surprised by the question and it took him several seconds to answer.

“I…I remember you guys showing up.”

“Do you remember what happened before we got here?”

This time Simon needed much longer to consider it. “I remember getting here and I was glad when the code for the alarm worked. I was tired so I sat down for a while,” Simon said as he glanced down at the spot on the floor in the corner of the room. “Then you were there and you made me something to eat.”

Jace bent his head and ran his hand over the back of his neck. A quick glance at Raphael showed the other man wasn’t eager for what would come next.

“What?” Simon asked in confusion as he glanced between the two men.

“We were outside when we heard your gun go off,” Raphael said softly and Simon’s eyes shifted to follow Raphael’s gaze to the back door. He stiffened when he saw the bullet hole there.

“Raphael came through the door first,” Jace said gently as Simon’s eyes moved to him. If your aim had been a quarter of an inch to the right, he wouldn’t be here.”

Simon’s eyes widened as Jace’s meaning sank in and he glanced at Raphael. But when Jace spoke again, Simon returned his attention to him.

“You were about to pull the trigger again when I came in. You wouldn’t have missed a second time,” Jace added with emphasis. Simon shook his head in denial but when neither Raphael nor Jace said anything, the truth hit him. And it was quickly followed by anger.

“I told you to stay away, Jace!” Simon shouted. “We had a deal!”

“Our deal didn’t include you going out and buying a gun!” Jace returned. “Do you even get what could have happened?”

“I knew I couldn’t trust you,” Simon suddenly said. The words stung but Jace didn’t get a chance to respond.

“Hey!” Raphael yelled. “Where the hell do you think you’d be right now without him?” he said angrily as he pointed at Jace. “Because I can tell you and none of the scenarios end with you being a free man.”

“I can take care of myself,” Simon said mutinously.

“Like you took care of yourself last night?” Raphael bit out. “Shooting at ghosts?”

Simon remained silent but Jace was glad to see he hadn’t emotionally withdrawn himself from the conversation and didn’t seem to be on the verge of an episode.

“How long before a ghost turns out to be some innocent hiker who got a little turned around and came to your door asking for directions? How long before some hunter’s gunshots put you back in that hellhole and you become the hunter? What happens when you decide you’re okay to go back to the city and some guy mouths off to you because you accidentally bumped into him on the sidewalk?” Raphael asked.

“Raphael,” Jace said.

“No, Jace, we’re not going to tip toe around this,” Raphael said as his eyes flashed to Jace for a moment before returning to Simon. “You’re a smart man, Simon. You know that you have no hope in hell of beating this thing by yourself. And I know you don’t want to hurt anyone but the fact is that even without a weapon you’re a dangerous man.”

“Simon,” Jace said softly. “I know you’re scared. Scared that you’ll never be safe again. That you won’t ever be the man you used to be. Let Raphael and I take some of that burden off of you. We can keep you safe and we can make sure you don’t hurt anyone else by mistake. Maybe if you don’t have to worry so much about that shit, you can start figuring out the rest.”

Simon remained quiet for a long time and then he started looking around the room. His eyes went to the door and then to the wall where he’d ended up last night after the shooting. It took Jace a moment to realize he was remembering part, if not all, of what had happened.

“You said no one would touch me ever again,” Simon finally said.

Simon looked up at Raphael who nodded briefly and then his eyes met Jace’s. “Promise me you won’t let them take me, Jace,” Simon whispered desperately and Jace didn’t miss the sheen of tears in his eyes. Jace couldn’t stop himself from getting up and going to stand in front of Simon. He waited until their gazes connected before he spoke.

“I swear to God, Simon, no one will ever hurt you again.” He wrapped his hand around the back of Simon’s neck and squeezed gently and dragged in a breath when Simon finally nodded. And in that moment, Jace knew he wouldn’t break his promise to the younger man, no matter what.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Jace promised. Simon kept repeating that to himself over and over as he watched the sunlight fade through the kitchen window. He was still working on the plate of food Raphael had slid in front of him and ordered him to take his time eating but with the caveat that he had to eat it all. For most, it wouldn’t be considered a huge portion but to Simon it looked enormous. It tasted really good though so at least there was that. And so far his stomach hadn’t rebelled though he was starting to get uncomfortable, especially as his anxiety began to notch up.

“When will he be back?” Simon couldn’t help but ask as he listened to Raphael working in the kitchen behind him. The logical part of Simon’s brain told him he was safe with Raphael but there was something about Jace that was strangely comforting. Which didn’t make any sense since he’d spent very little time around the quiet man who always kept to himself at the few family functions they’d attended at the same time.

“A few days,” Raphael responded. “He’s working tomorrow and has a family function this weekend.” Raphael returned to the table and dropped down in the chair next to Simon.

“I didn’t know he had much of a family besides Dot,” Simon said. At Raphael’s silence, Simon stilled. “It’s not his family, is it?” Simon asked.

Raphael shook his head. “It’s an engagement party for Alec’s sister and her fiancé.”

Simon remembered meeting Alec briefly at Ragnor’s house his first night back in New York. Ragnor had told him about the death of Magnus’ wife and his newfound relationship with another man but admittedly, Simon had been too preoccupied to give it much thought at that time or even in the past couple of weeks.

“Have you met him?” Simon asked absentmindedly.

“Alec?”

Simon nodded.

“A few times. He comes to the office to meet Magnus for lunch,” Raphael said.

“What does he do?” It felt strange to be asking someone else the questions he should have asked Magnus or even Ragnor.

“He runs a foundation that helps kids in need. Kids from the street,” Raphael explained. “It’s named after Jace’s sister.”

That was a surprise. “Did Dot and Alec know each other?”

Raphael shrugged. “Not sure.”

“Strange,” Simon said.

“What is?” Asked Raphael.

“That Jace would be close to a man that replaced his sister.”

Raphael leaned back in his chair. “Is that really how you see it?”

“What? That he replaced her?” Simon asked.

“Yeah.”

Simon considered that for a moment. He’d never known any people that loved each other more than Magnus and Dot. They’d been perfect for one another and he’d always envied what they’d had. And Magnus had loved her too much to just so easily dismiss her memory for someone else.

“Don’t you think this thing with Alec is just some way for Magnus to deal with losing Dot? Like a rebound thing?” Simon asked as he pushed his nearly empty plate away from him.

“No, I don’t think that at all. I’ve seen the way Magnus and Alec look at each other. It’s the real deal,” Raphael said.

Simon must have looked confused because Raphael chuckled. “What, you don’t think it’s possible to love two people in the same way? Two soulmates?”

“I guess I’d have to believe in soulmates first before I could believe in having more than one in a lifetime.”

“You ever come close?” Raphael asked.

The sudden shift in conversation caused a knot to form in Simon’s gut but he managed to shake his head.

“Liar,” he heard Raphael say softly.

“What about you?” Simon asked.

“No,” Raphael said. “I think some people like your brothers are lucky to have found the people they were meant to be with but I’ve seen the other side of love – the kind that’s ugly and cruel. The kind that takes but never gives.”

The remark hit too close to home for Simon and he dropped his eyes.

“You know what I’m talking about, don’t you?” Raphael asked quietly. The man was either too damn observant or Simon really sucked at schooling his expressions.

Simon snatched his plate off the table and carried it to the sink. He took his time washing it and stacking it in the drying rack but Raphael hadn’t moved when Simon was finally forced to turn around. And those unnerving eyes were still on him.

“What’s next?” Simon asked. He glanced back at the fading daylight and felt an overwhelming need to examine every shadowy corner and check all the closets.

“How about a walk?”

Was the guy fucking crazy? But just as he was about to voice the question he saw the challenge in Raphael’s eyes. And God but if that didn’t feel a hell of a lot better than being looked at with pity.

“Okay,” Simon managed to get out though even he could hear the fear in his voice. But Raphael didn’t call him out on it. He just reached into a drawer and pulled out a single flashlight.

“Let’s go,” he said with a grin but to Simon’s dismay, he kept the flashlight for himself.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

  
“We have a problem,” Jace said before Raphael could even get a word out. He took one of the grocery bags from Jace and ignored the bout of desire that surged through him as Jace’s unique, musky scent drifted over him. Neither of them had spoken since the day Jace had kissed him. After their discussion with Simon, Jace had quickly announced he needed to leave and had called only once later in the day to let Raphael know his whereabouts for the next several days.

Part of Raphael had been looking forward to seeing Jace again just so he could try to get a handle on what had happened between them. He had no idea if Jace was gay or straight or questioning but Raphael couldn’t get that fucking kiss out of his head or the feel of Jace’s tight ass beneath his palms. Add in his increasing attraction towards the young man he’d spent the last five days with and Raphael was stuck with an endless loop of questions that he couldn’t figure out the answers to. But Jace’s worried expression and hushed voice had all of those thoughts drifting to the background.

“What is it?” Raphael asked as he watched Jace close the trunk of his car.

“Where is he?” Jace asked, his eyes searching the surrounding glade.

“Still asleep,” Raphael said. “He had a rough night.”

“Nightmares?”

Raphael nodded. “We ended up doing a couple of perimeter searches before he settled back down. Happened again a few hours ago.”

“You okay?” Jace asked.

The question caught Raphael off guard but he managed a nod. “How about you? You look like shit,” Raphael said before he realized how obnoxious the words sounded. But Jace actually smiled briefly and Raphael felt his insides jerk at the sight.

“Jordan’s back,” Jace said.

“I know. Ragnor said he was hacking their system-” Raphael began to say.

“No, he’s actually back. He showed up at the engagement party last night.”

“Shit,” Raphael whispered.

“No one even knew he was in town and then he was just there,” Jace said.

“What happened?” Raphael asked softly as he heard the uneven tone in Jace’s voice.

“It was bad, Raphael,” Jace whispered.

Raphael couldn’t stop himself from reaching out and closing his hand around Jace’s upper arm. He was glad when Jace didn’t pull away from him. “Tell me,” Raphael said.

“The guy who took him – his biological father – he pimped him out,” Jace said hoarsely. “Fucker almost let some trucker rape Jordan in his rig while he was buying beer and a tank of gas. If Jordan hadn’t been fast enough to get away…”

Raphael felt the bag of groceries start to slip from his lax arm and he quickly lowered it to the trunk next to the bag Jace had set there. “Jesus.”

“It sounds like his father abused him for years,” Jace said.

Bile crept up the back of Raphael’s throat and he needed to lean against the car to keep himself upright. “He was just a kid…” Raphael said.

“Ragnor and Magnus?” Raphael asked.

“Destroyed. Jordan blames them for not stopping it – for not coming to get him,” Jace said. “I’ve never seen Magnus or Ragnor like that before…”

“Where’s Jordan now?”

Jace shook his head. “He took off. Told Magnus and Ragnor he was done with them. Gave them back the information he stole.”

“Fuck,” Raphael whispered.

“Simon can’t know. Not yet,” Jace said.

Raphael nodded. Simon’s mental health was already shaky. Who knew what finding out that his baby brother had been through would do? “Agreed.”

Jace reached for the bag of groceries he’d put down but Raphael reached out a hand to stop him. “Jace, we need to talk about what happened the other day.”

Jace stiffened and pulled his arm free. “It was a mistake, Raphael. You were upset and I said something I shouldn’t have…”

Jace brushed past him but Raphael snaked out an arm and grabbed him by the waist. The move had both of them flinching as their bodies brushed against one another. Jace’s eyes grew heavy as Raphael let his hand travel down Jace’s hip. The muscles in his thigh twitched as Raphael pressed his fingers against it and Raphael glanced down and wasn’t surprised to see the outline of Jace’s cock against his jeans, the head bulging just inches from where Raphael’s hand was resting.

“Jace,” Raphael whispered as he began to move his hand but then Jace’s eyes flew open and he stepped back. Whatever spell Raphael had managed to weave was broken.

“Why don’t you get some rest?” Jace said quickly. “I’ll keep an eye on things.” And with that Jace hurried to the cabin leaving Raphael to wonder what the hell was going on between them.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

  
  
“You do this a lot?” Simon asked as he stared at the top of the fishing pole in his hands. He’d never actually gone fishing before so he had no idea what he was supposed to be watching for.

“Used to,” Jace responded. “I don’t get out here as much as I’d like.”

“And you find this fun?”

Jace chuckled and Simon found himself enjoying the sound. He glanced at the man sitting on the ground next to him but was disappointed to see that if there had been a smile to accompany the chuckle, it was already gone. The only time he’d ever remembered seeing Jace smile was when he’d been in the presence of his younger sister and even then he’d always seemed grim and withdrawn.

“I find it relaxing,” Jace said. “Fun is relative, I guess.”

Simon looked around the small lake but saw no sign of movement and a quick check over his shoulder at the trail they’d used to get to the pristine body of water was quiet too. When he’d woken up, his anxiety had been as high as it had been throughout the night before. He’d been certain that someone had been fooling with the outside of the window in his room but subsequent searches of the outside of the cabin had proven fruitless. There hadn’t even been any foot prints. It had been Raphael who suggested dumping a light coating of baking soda they’d found in the pantry in the dirt underneath the window.

Simon had been surprised that the other man had even indulged him by taking him outside to check things but when he’d come up with the unusual “security” system, Simon had been touched. And when Raphael had been there each time Simon had been ripped from his sleep by nightmares, something inside of Simon had started to ease. They’d ended up searching the area surrounding the cabin at least three times last night but Raphael had never been dismissive or shown any signs of frustration. He’d simply led Simon to the place where they’d dumped the baking soda to look for footprints or any kind of disturbance and then he’d led him, flashlight in hand, through the dense woods surrounding the cabin. And he’d waited until Simon was satisfied before leading the way back to the cabin.

“How do you know Raphael?” Simon asked.

To his surprise, Jace tensed next to him and he wondered at the cause.

“He works for your brothers,” was all Jace said.

“So you two are friends?”

“No,” Jace said quickly. Too quickly.

Confusion went through Simon. “Then how did you both end up here?”

Jace glanced at him briefly and Simon saw in that moment that Jace knew he’d been found out. Jace sighed. “He followed me up here.”

“I don’t understand.”

Jace scrubbed his hand over his face. It was a move Simon noticed he often did when he seemed agitated.

“I was drinking in his friend’s bar one night last week. I had a little too much and Raphael took me home. I guess I mentioned you at some point so he started following me. He knew your brothers were worried about you so I guess he just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Simon could tell by the fact that Jace refused to meet his gaze that there was plenty he wasn’t telling him but he decided to let it go. “Why’d you help me that day, Jace?”

“You mean after the shooting?” Jace asked.

Darkness swept through Simon at the reminder of the man he’d killed. It wasn’t so much the man he was thinking about but the reason Simon had been in that deserted parking lot at all. But he didn’t want to think about that too much so he just nodded when Jace glanced at him.

“We go a long ways back,” was all Jace said.

“You and my brothers go a long way back,” Simon corrected. “I can count on one hand the number of times you and I have talked.”

“We’re family,” was all Jace.

Simon suspected he wasn’t going to get anything else out of Jace on the subject and he wasn’t sure he really wanted to. He was afraid that the answer might disappoint him.

“I’m sorry about Dot,” Simon said as his thoughts drifted to the beautiful woman who’d stolen his brother’s heart. She’d been full of life and energy and it broke his heart to think about the agony Magnus must have experienced when he lost her. And he couldn’t even begin to imagine the pain Jace must have gone through at losing his baby sister. “I didn’t know she was sick again.”

“She got the diagnosis a year ago. June 20th. Her birthday.”

Simon felt a wave of pity go through him. June 20th was a week ago. The day before Jace and Raphael had shown up at the cabin. Probably the day Jace had gotten drunk.

“I didn’t go to the appointment,” Jace continued. “I knew I wouldn’t be strong enough this time around.”

“This time?” Simon asked softly.

“First one was when she was 12. She kept asking me if she was going to die. I promised her she wouldn’t.”

“Your parents?” Simon asked.

Jace shook his head. “Too busy making all the right political connections to be bothered with a little thing like leukemia – especially when Dot had a nanny that once worked for an unnamed royal family in Europe,” Jace bit out. “Didn’t stop the bitch from hightailing it out of there when she found out she’d be expected to take care of a kid undergoing chemo.”

“You took care of Dot by yourself?” Simon asked.

Jace nodded. “I was so scared I wouldn’t be able to keep my promise,” he said. “The vomiting, the hair falling out, the exhaustion, the constant nausea…the doctors tried to prepare us for what to expect but you just can’t prepare for something like that. She was so brave. She didn’t even cry when I shaved her hair off.”

Jace suddenly laughed again but this time the sound was all wrong and it made Simon’s heart clench.

“First time she cried was when I shaved my head too. Second time was when she asked our parents to come home and they said they’d try…we both knew what that meant.”

“I’m sorry, Jace,”

Jace shook his head. “She got through it. She beat it the second time too. She’d met Magnus by then and she was so scared he’d leave her. I guess I was too,” he admitted. “Your brother…” Jace started to say. “Your brother was a fucking saint. He was there for every treatment, every appointment.”

Simon’s insides tightened at the mention of Magnus and a flicker of guilt went through him. He’d spent these past few weeks so focused on himself that he hadn’t given much consideration to what Ragnor and Magnus had been going through in the past year. Or how his decision might have added to their already heavy burdens.

“Last year when she told me she wasn’t feeling well I made an excuse for why I couldn’t go with her and Magnus to the doctor. Truth was I was too much of a fucking coward to face the truth.” Jace reached his hand up to rub at his eyes. “But when she told me she wasn’t going to beat it this time around…wasn’t going to even try…I lost it. I yelled at her. I begged her. I even gave her the silent treatment like some bratty little kid who doesn’t get his way. But she forgave me of course, and I was there at the end.”

Simon could feel the man’s pain washing off him in waves and the helplessness that Simon felt was overwhelming. So he did the only thing he could think of and closed his hand over Jace’s shoulder. He could feel the tremors running through Jace’s body as he fought to get himself under control. Simon let his hand coast across Jace’s shoulder blade before running it up and down the middle of his back. Jace dropped his hand but kept his gaze focused on the still waters of the lake. It wasn’t until he glanced at Simon that Simon felt something other than sadness shimmer through his own body. Something he couldn’t put his finger on. Something that should have had him drawing his hand back, not leaving it where it rested against the powerful muscles that rippled beneath Jace’s shirt.

“Looks like you’re getting a nibble,” he heard Jace say but the actual words didn’t register as Simon’s eyes fell on Jace’s mouth as he spoke. His lips were full and looked smoother than Simon would have guessed a man’s lips to be. And he had the slightest dimple in his chin…

“Simon, you’ve got one,” Jace said though he didn’t yell it. Because he didn’t want to scare him.

“Simon,” Jace said again and Simon felt his stomach flip-flop when Jace’s hand closed gently over his on the fishing pole. 

_What the hell was wrong with him?_

“Simon,” Jace said a third time and his voice was loud enough to jolt Simon from his wayward thoughts. And when he felt the pole jerk in his hand, reality returned and he instinctively reached for the reel.

“I’ve got one,” he said stupidly as the top of the pole bent.

“Sure do,” Jace said with a chuckle. “Reel her in – let’s see if she’s a fighter.”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Raphael stepped back from where he’d been watching Simon and Jace and leaned against a tree. He could still hear them talking excitedly about the fish Simon was trying to reel in but Raphael’s mind was swirling with too many thoughts to keep track of everything at once so he tuned them out. He’d awoken about ten minutes ago to an empty cabin and a small piece of paper taped to his bedroom door. It had been a crude, hand-drawn map showing directions on how to get to the lake. There hadn’t been any other information except for the words ‘Join Us´ written in large, neat penmanship. He’d wondered if that was the way Jace always wrote or if he’d made the letters big and precise to ensure that Raphael could read them. It hadn’t mattered – he struggled as he always did - but it was easy enough to type the letters into his phone and let an app read the words back to him. He was just glad as hell that Jace had been thoughtful enough to draw a map instead of writing the directions out.

  
When he’d reached the lake, the first thing that surprised him was the fact that Simon hadn’t heard him coming. From what Raphael had been able to tell, Simon hadn’t even been scanning his surroundings like he usually did. His first thought was that maybe Simon just felt more comfortable with Jace but it hadn’t taken more than a minute of listening to Jace talk before Raphael realized the truth. Simon was just too engrossed in Jace’s words and the immense pain behind them to focus on anything else. And hearing Jace talk about his sister had done the same exact thing to Raphael.

As Jace’s voice had grown raspier with emotion, Raphael wished like hell he was sitting on the other side of the man…he wished his hand had joined Simon’s in trying to offer silent comfort. And part of him had even wished he hadn’t heard any of it because it meant acknowledging that Jace might not be the man Raphael had pegged him to be. It was bad enough that the kiss they’d shared was still fucking with Raphael’s head – now he had to process this new information and try to understand what it meant.

It was at the point that Jace had finished his story that Raphael had decided to make his presence known but then he’d seen two things that had stopped him in his tracks. The first had been the way Jace had looked at Simon in that brief moment after Simon had touched him and the way Simon had looked at Jace. Not only was Raphael now one hundred percent certain that Jace was gay, he was almost just as certain that Jace was in love with the younger man. And Simon…

The confused look that had passed over Simon’s expression had been the second thing Raphael had noticed and he knew the look had nothing to do with trying to figure out how to comfort someone and everything to do with coming to terms with some new realization. Jace hadn’t seemed to notice but Raphael hadn’t missed it. He couldn’t have since it was the same thing he was going through whenever he looked at either man. Wanting more but not knowing exactly what ‘more’ meant.

Before he could dwell on the discovery for too long, he heard it - they were laughing. Not just one of them either. Raphael couldn’t see them from his position but the deep rolling chuckles and the slightly higher pitched laughs tugged at something deep inside of him and he was both happy and sad at the same time. He waited for the laughter to die down and then pushed away from the tree.

“You guys out here?” he shouted to make sure they heard him coming.

“Yeah, over here!” he heard Jace say. Raphael forced a smile to his lips as he cleared the tree line. Both men greeted him with brief smiles but whatever closeness had been between the two seemed to have dissipated with his presence. As he made his way down towards them, he realized he should have just left them alone and returned to the cabin but he’d selfishly wanted to be a part of the moment they’d been sharing. But from the awkwardness that suddenly stifled the air around them, they clearly didn’t want to share that moment with him.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

  
  
“You sure you don’t want to stay for dinner?” Simon asked as he leaned against the doorframe and watched Raphael load the few items he had into a small black bag.

“No, I need to get back and check in on things. Get some fresh clothes.”

Simon didn’t say that another hour wouldn’t change any of that because there was something off with the man. He was sullen and withdrawn and had been since he’d joined them at the lake. They hadn’t lingered after Simon had managed to reel in the fish and ultimately convinced Jace they should release it. The walk back to the cabin had been made primarily in silence and Simon had found himself surprisingly comfortable between the two men – like nothing could touch him with Jace leading the way and Raphael at his back. The trek had given him time to think about the feelings that had churned through him after his conversation with Jace but by the time they’d reached the cabin, he’d been no closer to understanding what was going on inside of him. As best he could figure, his mind and body were just trying to adjust to being around two people who were giving him the time and security he needed to try to get his head on straight. It was nothing more than that.

So why did Raphael leaving like this bother him so much? Why did he miss the easy going grin and the rich, deep voice that talked about anything and everything just so Simon wouldn’t get lost in his own head? Why did the lack of interaction beyond common courtesy between Raphael and Jace irritate him?

“Are you going to see Magnus and Ragnor?” Simon asked. He didn’t miss the slight tensing in Raphael’s shoulders as he zipped up his bag.

“Probably. I need to check in and see if they have any jobs coming up for me.”

Right. Life hadn’t stopped just because Simon couldn’t get a grip on his.

“I won’t tell them about you,” Raphael said as he snagged the bag off the bed.

“I know,” Simon responded. And he did. Somewhere along the way he’d grown to trust this man like he did Jace. It still didn’t make complete sense to him why they’d go through so much trouble to help him but he wasn’t foolish enough to throw away the opportunity. The words of both men had been haunting him since the day they’d pointed out how dangerous he really was. He hadn’t believed it at first – he’d been under the naïve assumption that he could control his fear. But then he’d seen the bullet holes in the cabin walls and he’d heard the truth in Jace’s voice when he’d told Simon that he’d almost taken Raphael’s life. As much as he wished he could deny it, Simon knew that he was sick and that the fear, pain and guilt that had consumed him since the day he lost his team had turned into something dark and cruel that lived inside of him and that would lash out whenever he felt threatened or exposed. He’d proven that when he went after Catarina…

Simon realized he must have gotten lost in himself for a moment because Raphael’s hand closed over his shoulder. It was something he did often to bring Simon back but he doubted Raphael knew that his touch always left something behind. Something that was as overwhelming as it was comforting.

“I’ll be back in a few days.”

Simon nodded but didn’t move as Raphael brushed past him. It took everything in Simon not to shift his body so there’d be more contact between them – so he could feel that soft warmth flow through him whenever Raphael’s skin came into contact with his.

As he watched Raphael disappear into the kitchen, he heard a few brief words exchanged and then the front door was opening and closing. He couldn’t make sense of the relationship between Raphael and Jace – they barely spoke and seemed to avoid spending too much time together in one room. But every once in a while Simon would catch them sharing a look between them that made Simon’s gut churn with some kind of strange anticipation. Like he was witnessing something that he couldn’t quite put his finger on but that he was afraid he would miss if he looked away even for a second.

God, he really was a fucking mess. The whole point of this arrangement had been so that he could start working things out in his head but even in those rare moments where the fear and panic inside of him eased, what he was left with was a mess of emotions he had no idea how to deal with. And they had nothing to do with the hell he’d been through in the last year.

“Simon?” Jace called.

“Be right there,” he said. “Just gotta wash up.”

Simon went to the bathroom attached to his room and splashed some cold water on his face. He grabbed a towel from the rack and ran it over his face but paused when he saw his reflection staring back at him in the mirror. His hair was slowly starting to grow back to its slightly longer length and scars on his head all covered up where he’d been struck repeatedly with the butts of several guns. He’d always been amazed that his captors had tempered their blows enough to keep from killing him. The scars on his face would eventually start to fade but he knew they’d never disappear entirely. For some reason the men who’d tortured him hadn’t shredded his face with the box cutters like they could have. Maybe so that he’d still be recognizable for the countless pictures they’d taken of him. But the pictures had been worthless since they’d never managed to get his name out of him. It was the one thing he’d been able to hold on to.

“Simon?”

Simon turned to see Jace watching him with concern. He forced himself to finish drying his face and put the towel away. Jace’s sharp eyes never seemed to miss anything so Simon pasted a smile to his lips and hoped to hell it reached his eyes because he didn’t want the questions that he knew would someday come – the questions about what exactly had happened down in that hole and why he’d been the only one to walk out alive.

“Dinner ready?” Simon asked lightly but when he made a move to leave the bathroom, Jace stepped in his path.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” Jace said softly.

God, how he wished that were true. But no man, not even one as kind hearted as Jace Wayland, would be able to offer Simon forgiveness for the things he’d done. And the idea of Jace looking upon him with judgement…recrimination. 

_No._

“I’m really hungry, Jace,” Simon lied. The pain in his gut had nothing to do with hunger and everything to do with the man standing in front of him.

“Okay,” Jace said as he stepped aside. “Just remember we could have been having fish tonight.”

Simon had no idea if he managed a smile or not but from the worried look in Jace’s eyes, he suspected it wouldn’t have mattered either way.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Any guilt Jace had felt in not telling Simon about Jordan’s return disappeared as he watched Simon pick at his food. It had been foolish to hope that the brief, fun moment they’d shared down at the lake as Simon had reeled his catch in would have been indicative of some kind of miraculous recovery on Simon’s part. But seeing the old Simon, the one with the infectious laugh and bright smile - even for the briefest of moments - had given Jace hope that the man he’d fallen in love with so long ago was still in there. Not that it would change anything for Jace either way because the feelings that had plagued Jace for years hadn’t waivered. If anything, they grew stronger the more time he spent with Simon. And if that wasn’t confusing enough, fate had decided to be the cruel bitch that it was and throw Raphael into the mix.

In the hours it had taken to drive to the cabin from New York the morning after Jordan’s stunning appearance and admission, Jace’s main thought had been to get to Raphael. Get to Raphael because he’ll know how to handle this. He’ll know if not telling Simon is the best way to go. He’ll be there to lean on…to draw strength from.

And damn if Jace hadn’t been right. Just seeing Raphael stride from the cabin towards him had Jace wishing he could wrap his arms around Raphael and cry. Cry for Jordan and what had happened to him. Cry for Ragnor and Magnus and the hell that was just starting for them. Cry for Simon and the truth he would need to someday face.

Although Jace had been too much of a coward to actually seek the comfort of Raphael’s hold, Raphael had done what Jace needed him to do anyway. The powerful hand closing around his arm had done what no words could have. But everything had changed again when Raphael had tried to talk to him about that kiss. That one amazing, too brief kiss. What he wouldn’t have done to give in to Raphael’s hold on his waist, to feel his big hand sliding farther across his thigh to his aching flesh. To claim Raphael’s mouth and take his time exploring every surface and drinking in his sweet taste.

“What do you know about Catarina?”

Jace glanced up from the food he’d been moving around on his plate and saw Simon watching him. He was surprised at the question since Simon hadn’t shown any interest in Ragnor’s girlfriend since the day Simon had shot her stalker. Even when he’d had the opportunity to talk to Catarina in person after the incident, Simon had gotten agitated and shut down when she’d attempted to convince him to return home.

“She’s an incredibly strong woman. I think she’s really good for your brother.”

Simon continued to pick at his food but didn’t put any into his mouth.

“She said something about being prisoner the night I…”

A flush of shame crossed Simon’s features and Jace guessed what he’d been about to say. The night Simon had attacked her. Jace remembered the phone call he’d received from Magnus that night telling him that Simon was on the run and armed. The thought that Simon would have attacked an innocent woman was beyond comprehension for Jace but it had just been further proof that the damage to Simon’s psyche was extreme and beyond his control.

“Your brother didn’t tell you how he met her?”

“He may have,” Simon said quietly. “I don’t remember,” he admitted

“Catarina’s father was a rapist and serial killer. He murdered 13 women after he tried to rape Alec’s younger sister.”

Simon lowered his fork and Jace knew he had his complete attention.

“About a year ago he found out Alec’s sister, Isabel, had returned to the state after finishing school in the Midwest. He tried to abduct her and shot Alec in the process. We thought Catarina’s father had died in the fire that he’d set in Alec’s bar but he’d managed to escape and kidnapped a couple of Magnus and Alec’s friends last January. He was about to kill them when Catarina beat him to death with a pipe. Turned out he’d been holding her prisoner for two years.”

Jace pushed his plate away and took a long swallow of his soda as he studied Simon. The young man was clearly trying to process what he was hearing.

“There were marks on her neck,” Simon said.

“Her father put shock collars on the women he abducted. Catarina too. It was linked to an underground fence but had been modified with a small charge that would detonate if the person wearing the collar passed over the perimeter of the fence. The man you shot, Catarina’s stalker, was her father’s accomplice. He modified Catarina’s collar so the charge wouldn’t go off because her father had promised her to stalker in exchange for services rendered.”

Simon suddenly pushed back his chair and moved to the kitchen. His hands gripped the kitchen counter hard as he leaned against it, his eyes boring into the laminate countertop.

“Go on,” Simon said though he didn’t look up. When Jace didn’t immediately continue, Simon did look up and said, “I’m okay, Jace. I need to hear this.”

Jace watched him closely for another long moment and was satisfied when Simon didn’t drop his gaze again. “Catarina managed to escape her room but she didn’t have a way to get the collar off. But it didn’t matter because her father had told her if the collar was removed it would go off. She didn’t know the stalker had disabled the charge when she chose to cross the fence,” Jace said slowly and waited for his statement to register.

Simon’s eyes slid closed. “She wanted to die.”

“After she killed her father she was hospitalized. She refused to eat or drink so they ended up institutionalizing her. A reporter got into the psych ward and took her picture so Magnus decided to hide her at Ragnor’s house since he was out of the country searching for you.”

Simon straightened and walked the length of the kitchen and combed his hands through his hair. His back remained to Jace when he whispered, “I didn’t mean to hurt her.”

“You didn’t, Simon. Yes, you scared her but you didn’t hurt her.”

“I wanted to protect him.”

“Ragnor?” Jace asked.

Simon nodded. “He was always the one watching out for us but no one ever watched out for him. When I saw her there, in his house…I thought she was going to do what all the other women did to him.”

Jace knew he was treading on shaky ground so he carefully said, “Was it just about protecting him, Simon?” When Simon tensed, Jace knew his instinct had been right. “Who was she?”

Simon remained quiet for so long that Jace figured he wasn’t going to get a response.

“She was an aid worker. Her name was Heidi. She was sweet, pretty. Everything else over there was so ugly and cruel. She was refreshing to be around.” A good two minutes passed before Simon continued but Jace just waited.

“I thought I was in love with her. The group she worked for did a lot of their relief work in some of the hardest hit areas and I was always afraid for her. A year ago my team was tasked with escorting some tactical weapons - high value cargo. Even though our route wouldn’t be decided until the day of transit, I knew the chances were good that her group would be working in one of the villages nearby.”

“You warned her,” Jace said softly.

“I didn’t give her specifics. I just told her to tell her superiors to pick a different place to work that day. About a week after the ambush I was being moved to a different location. When I saw her with them I thought she’d been taken prisoner too.”

“She wasn’t,” Jace observed.

Simon shook his head. “My Pashto wasn’t the greatest but I understood enough to realize she was making a deal for the weapons we’d been moving. When she saw me she started yelling that no one was supposed to have been left alive. They shot her in the head before she even finished her sentence.”

“You were trying to protect her, Simon. It’s understandable.”

The harsh, ugly laugh that erupted from Simon’s throat made Jace cringe.

“I sold out 20 good men for a pretty face and a nice ass.”

Jace was out of his chair before he could think better of it and he was turning Simon around to face him before he even realized what he was doing. “You trusted her,” Jace said.

“Exactly,” Simon snapped. “And look where that got me.”

Simon’s bitterness was so profound that Jace released his hold on him when Simon tried to pull free of him.

“Simon,” he said as Simon brushed past him.

“Leave me alone, Jace. Just leave me alone.”

But Jace grabbed his arm before he could escape. “I can’t,” he said quietly. When Simon began struggling against him, Jace gently forced him back against the counter and used his body to keep him from escaping. As slight as Simon still was, Jace knew the man had the skills to disable him if he really wanted to so Jace quickly reached into his pocket.

“Let’s go for a drive,” he said as he opened his hand so Simon could see the contents. Brown eyes lifted to meet his and when Simon nodded, Jace felt a surge of relief go through him and he carefully opened Simon’s hand and placed the fuses for Simon’s GTO in them.

  
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	3. Chapter: 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys...
> 
> 1\. To whoever is reading this story - THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH, for dedicating your precious time to this.  
> 2\. You cannot even imagine how much I appreciate the feedback as well.

“Mom, you home?” Raphael called as he stepped into the small house. He knew the answer before his mother spoke because the scent of cinnamon hit him just as he was closing the door.

  
“In here,” came the response but Raphael was already on his way to the kitchen. All the excitement at seeing his mother had fled when he’d smelled that sickening spice and it came as no surprise when he saw his mother hovering over a three layer cake covered in streusel. She was carefully drizzling the thick, white icing in precise lines along the top of the cake and didn’t look up until the last drop fell into place.

  
“Hi baby,” she said as she came around the counter to where he stood in the doorframe.

  
“Hi,” he said softly as he leaned down to kiss the top of her head as her arms wrapped around his waist. Even towering over her petite, 5 foot frame, Raphael never felt more like a kid than when she hugged him and called him ‘baby.’

  
“Can I fix you something to eat?” she asked as she rubbed a flour covered thumb over his unmarred cheek. Just once he wished she’d touch the scarred one the same way. Not because he actually needed her touch but because he wanted her to stop pretending like the jagged, raised flesh wasn’t there.

  
“No,” he answered and she quickly released him to return to her cake. Raphael wasn’t surprised to see her carefully carry it to the refrigerator and put it inside. He liked his coffee cake to be slightly chilled, not room temperature.

  
His mother finally seemed to relax and a bright smile covered her face as she began untying her apron. Her dark brown hair was fashioned into a simple twist at the nape of her neck and bits of flour clung to the few strands that had escaped. Brown eyes darted between him and the dirty counter and he could see the indecision in her gaze. She was clearly on a timetable but didn’t want to disregard his presence. Raphael decided the course of action for her and began collecting some of the dishes she’d used to make the cake and dumped them in the sink. When he began washing them, he felt his mother’s small hand brush over his back. The small gesture of appreciation took the sting out of knowing his mother was having company tonight.

  
“Where have you been this week?” she asked as she began drying the dishes he placed on the counter next to sink.

  
“Work stuff,” he answered. He didn’t really like lying to his mother but he sure as hell couldn’t tell her he’d been holed up for the better part of a week in a remote cabin in the mountains with a man who’d nearly taken his life with one almost perfectly aimed bullet.

  
“Did you make any new friends?”

  
Raphael bit back a laugh at the odd question. To his mother he was still the scrawny little boy who had trouble connecting with others in class. He’d never had the heart to tell her that the kinds of kids she’d always hoped he’d befriend in school were the same kids who had tortured him with endless taunts about how stupid he was. Well, until he’d turned twelve and towered over all of them anyway. After that, one hard punch to the ringleader’s upturned nose was all it had taken to make sure the shit the kids said about him was done behind his back and not to his face.

  
“A couple,” he answered and cursed the image of Simon and Jace arguing heartily over the fate of the fish that hung from the end of Simon’s fishing pole. The look on Jace’s face when the huge fish had been dropped back into the water had been priceless.

  
“And how’s Andrew?”

  
“Good,” he answered simply.

  
“That poor boy,” she whispered and he wasn’t surprised to see her make the sign of the cross against her chest. “I will pray for him,” she said softly.

  
He wanted to tell her that if God had been listening to any of her prayers, Andrew sure as shit wouldn’t have ended up with an ass-hat like Victor Aldertree. Nor would he be struggling with the after effects of a war that had nearly destroyed him.

  
Raphael finished the last of the dishes and watched his mother carefully dry each and every one. Her eyes shifted to the clock above the stove and her hand came up to push a stray hair behind her ear.

  
“What time is he getting here?” Raphael finally asked.

His mother kept her eyes downcast when she said, “Half an hour.”

  
Raphael knew she wanted all of that time to make sure she looked her best. It was on the tip of his tongue to say that after twenty years the fucker shouldn’t care that she had a few hairs out of place or a couple of wrinkles in her dress. But he didn’t because it wouldn’t matter. It never mattered. His mother was in love and Raphael was smart enough not to ask her to choose between the son who thought she deserved better and the man who kept her hidden in the shadows. Because he already knew what her answer would be.

  
“I’m going to be out of town on and off over the next couple of weeks so if you need anything and can’t reach me, call Andrew, okay?”

  
“Okay, baby,” she said softly. “Stay safe.”

  
“Love you,” he said as he leaned down to brush another kiss over her head. He didn’t look back as he left the house because that would just make him want to stay and try to talk some sense into her. But between the fucking cinnamon and the look of anticipation in his mother’s flushed expression, he knew nothing he said would change anything and he just needed to get the hell out of there.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“What’s going on between you and Jace?” Simon asked as he took a swing at Raphael. Even though his question had clearly caught Raphael off guard if the surprised look on his face was anything to go by, Raphael still managed to deflect the punch. It had been Raphael’s idea to do some boxing, sans boxing gloves, after their normal hike had failed to ease the tension in Simon’s system.

  
“Nothing,” Raphael responded as he landed a blow to Simon’s stomach. If they hadn’t been training, Simon knew the strike would have taken him to his knees.

  
“It’s like you guys can’t stand to be around each other,” Simon said as he took a few steps back and used the hem of his T-shirt to wipe his brow. Raphael went to the porch and grabbed their bottles of water and handed one to him.

  
“I guess we just don’t have a lot to talk about.”

  
“Besides me, you mean?” Simon said before he took a long swallow of the icy water. Although the mountains were typically cool this time of year, a heat wave had struck the region and even at the higher altitude they were feeling it.

  
“Yeah,” Raphael said.

  
Raphael had returned the day before yesterday but his mood hadn’t seemed to have improved in the time he’d been gone. In fact, he’d been even quieter than usual. And his interaction with Jace as they’d exchanged a few words outside of the cabin before Jace left was nothing less than ice-cold. Simon hadn’t been able to make out any of the words from his spot on the porch but the whole conversation had taken less than a minute and then Jace’s car was disappearing down the dirt road that led down the mountain.

  
“You want to tell me what your nightmare was about last night?” Raphael asked as he put his water back down and raised his arms in a defensive stance.

  
Simon sighed and got rid of his water, then dragged his shirt off over his head. It was becoming far too routine that his questions went unanswered but Jace and Raphael had no issue with wringing out every one of his thoughts and feelings whenever they could.

  
“If I say no?” Simon asked as he took a jab at Raphael’s mid-section.

  
“You say no and we do three miles tomorrow.”

  
“You know, someday I’m going to get my full strength back and you won’t be able to pull all your he-man shit on me,” Simon said sourly. He’d like to think his foul mood had to do with the terrible images that had ripped him from sleep at three this morning but the fact was that there’d been other things bothering him long before he’d drifted off.

  
“Understood,” Raphael responded. “Talk.”

  
“Well, Dr.,” Simon said as he sidestepped Raphael’s next swipe. “I was in this airplane and it started to go down-”

  
Simon’s words died in his throat when Raphael suddenly grabbed his arm and yanked him forward several steps.

  
“Bullshit,” Raphael said, his eyes completely serious. “The truth,” he ordered.

  
The anxiety that went through Simon at the feel of Raphael’s fingers pressing into his skin had absolutely nothing to do with being afraid and everything to do with something else. Something he’d been trying to deny since the day Jace and Raphael had stormed into his life.

  
Since for whatever reason Raphael could read him like a book, Simon opted for the truth. “I was trying to climb out of my hole. It was hard because my hands were covered in blood.”

  
“Did you make it to the top?” Raphael asked.

  
Simon nodded but shame coursed through him and he closed his eyes. No way could he be looking at Raphael when he admitted what he’d done. It didn’t fucking matter that it was a dream. “You and Jace were there. I reached for you but you both fell. You grabbed on to me as you went over but I couldn’t hold you and the edge too so I…”

  
“You let us go,” Raphael finished for him.

  
“You were both screaming my name as you fell,” Simon whispered. Disgust coursed through him and he tried to pull his arm free of Raphael’s grip.

  
“That’s it?” Raphael asked.

  
Simon could only manage to nod his head.

  
“Look at me,” Raphael said. Simon tried to keep his eyes closed but when Raphael repeated the words they popped open of their own accord.

  
“That is fucking horseshit,” Raphael declared.

  
“I’m telling you the truth.”

  
“I know that,” Raphael said. “The problem I have is that you’re actually even giving it a second thought.”

  
“I did some stuff over there,” Simon started to say but Raphael cut him off.

“What you did was survive. A year, Simon. A whole year in that Godforsaken place. I can count on one hand the number of men I know who could live through what you did.”

  
Simon yanked his arm free. “Don’t put me on some God damn pedestal, Raphael. I wished for death…prayed for it.”

  
“Yet you’re still here,” Raphael said as he straightened and crossed his arms.

  
Fury went through Simon. “Yeah, I’m still here! For what? To hurt the people who love me most? To put them and everyone I come into contact with at risk?”

  
“If that’s all you can see then it’ll be like you never got out of that hole,” Raphael said quietly.

  
“Maybe it would have been better if I hadn’t,” Simon finally admitted, though the words sounded wrong even as he said them out loud.

“Tell that to Ragnor,” Raphael responded. “And not just because it would have cost him a brother, but the woman he loves too.”

  
“Catrina-” Simon began to say.

  
“Would have been in that parking lot that day no matter what. She’s alive because of you. It doesn’t matter why you were there – what matters is you stepped up. So don’t bother feeding me any more bullshit about people being better off if you weren’t around. And if you truly wanted to die you would have done it the moment you got your hands on Ragnor’s gun. Now either take a fucking swing at me or start heading for the lake because I’m hot as hell and we’re either going to fight or swim. Your choice.”

  
Simon couldn’t understand the lightness that suddenly went through him but maybe it didn’t matter. Maybe Raphael was just telling him something he’d been trying to tell himself since the day he opened his eyes and saw his brother leaning over him. He’d been too afraid to hope that day or even in the days that followed but maybe that’s what the feeling inside his chest was. Maybe there was a way to live with the past but not in it. To forgive himself for the things he’d done even if he could never forget them. And if he could do those things it meant he had a future…it meant he could someday go home. The idea was too overwhelming so Simon did the only thing that made sense. He turned and began walking towards the lake.

  
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Raphael jolted awake and was scrambling out of the bed before the second gunshot shattered the silence. Even as he processed that the sound was coming from a ways off and was likely the result of a rifle, concern filled him and he ran down the short hallway to Simon’s room. When he saw that the door was open, he knew in his gut that Simon wouldn’t be curled up in his corner on the thin sheet that was all that separated his body from the hard floor.

  
“Simon!” he called as he turned on the light and scanned the room. The room was indeed empty so he rushed to the kitchen, turning on lights as he went. His only solace was that the front door alarm hadn’t gone off so that meant Simon was still in the cabin. Another gunshot cracked through the air at the same moment that Raphael flipped on the living room lights. Both relief and concern went through him at the sight of Simon standing frozen in the middle of the room, his eyes closed. Another shot had Simon flinching before Raphael could reach him.

  
“Simon,” Raphael said softly as he closed his hands over Simon’s upper arms. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and his skin was chilled despite the warm air.

  
“I’m okay,” Simon managed to get out though his voice was strained. Raphael realized Simon was fighting to not lose himself to his panic and a surge of overwhelming pride went through Raphael.

  
“It’s probably just a hunter,” Raphael offered as he rubbed his hands up and down Simon’s biceps. Simon was still too thin but in the nearly three weeks they’d been holed up in the cabin, he’d managed to put on some weight and his strength and stamina were slowly returning. His pale skin had lost the sallow tint that had been evidence of the malnutrition that had ravaged his body and his face no longer had that sunken appearance that had made him look like a walking skeleton. “It’ll be over soon.”

  
Simon nodded at Raphael’s statement but didn’t open his eyes. He kept sucking in deep breaths as the minutes passed.

  
“At least it’s not the fourth again,” Simon finally said as his breathing evened out and Raphael felt the tension start to drain out of him.

  
Raphael chuckled. They’d known that the Fourth of July would be rough on Simon so both he and Jace had watched Simon together that day. Even high in the mountains, they’d still heard the remnants of fireworks and no amount of distraction had been able to prevent a few instances of panic on Simon’s part. But between the two of them, they’d managed to talk Simon down each time and by the time the end of the holiday weekend had rolled around, Simon had been so completely exhausted that he’d actually slept through the last few hours of the festivities. Jace and Raphael hadn’t fared much better in the sleep department and Raphael hadn’t even woken up when Jace left the following morning.

  
“You okay?” Raphael asked as Simon finally opened his eyes. He tried to ignore the punch of lust that went through him but his traitorous body hardened as Simon’s tongue darted out of his mouth to briefly run over his lower lip before disappearing again.

  
“Yeah,” Simon said.

  
Let him go. 

  
Raphael’s brain was screaming the command at him but his hands refused to obey and his grip on Simon’s arms actually tightened. Warning bells went off in his head as he realized he was crossing a line he’d been trying to avoid for a while now but his body didn’t give a shit. It knew what it wanted and it didn’t care that Simon was vulnerable. It didn’t care that any confusion Simon was facing regarding his sexuality had nothing to do with Raphael and everything to do with Jace. And it didn’t care that there was another man it wanted just as much as the one standing before him.

  
“Raphael?” Simon whispered.

  
If he’d heard only confusion in the way Simon said his name, Raphael would have been able to drop his hands and step away from Simon but the thread of desire as his name slipped from Simon’s lips had Raphael pulling him closer. A shred of sanity managed to push its way to the forefront of his brain but before he could even consider it, Simon’s head lifted and the last couple of inches of space that separated them fell away and warm, soft lips coasted tentatively over his for just an instant before covering his mouth completely.

  
Raphael groaned as a hot, wet tongue met his and he didn’t even realize he’d wrapped his arms around Simon’s body until he felt the heated skin of Simon’s back rippling beneath his fingers. Simon’s hard chest brushing his nearly stole Raphael’s breath as their tongues duelled but when a stiff cock brushed against his, Raphael lost it and plunged his tongue deep into Simon’s mouth. His whole body shook as long fingers settled at the back of his head as if to keep him from pulling away. But he had no intention of going anywhere as Simon returned his kiss with fervour.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Simon’s entire body drew tight as Raphael’s mouth explored his and when he was finally forced to come up for air, Raphael’s lips dragged across his jawline and then skimmed down his throat. Every soft kiss was punctuated with a sensuous lick and when teeth closed gently over the place where his neck met his shoulder, Simon was sure he would come in his pants. His fingers dug into Raphael’s skin as he desperately tried to hold on to some shred of control but the hot flesh flexing in his grasp only made the fire inside of him burn hotter. And then that talented mouth was back on his.

  
Simon didn’t recognize the ragged moan that fell from his own lips or the desperation that swept through him as he skimmed his hands down Raphael’s wide back, each muscle rippling in response to his touch.

  
“Simon,” Raphael breathed against his lips. Lust surged through Simon at how breathless Raphael sounded but when Raphael’s hands closed over his ass, Simon froze as a tremor of unease went through him. Before he could work through it, Raphael’s hands were shifting up and closing over his hips and pushing him back. Regret washed through him as Raphael’s mouth pulled free of his.

  
“Raphael,” he started to say.

  
“It’s okay,” Raphael interjected. “Go back to bed, Simon.”

  
That was the last thing Simon wanted but he could tell just by looking at Raphael’s hooded gaze that the other man was withdrawing emotionally as well as physically from what had just happened. Confusion swamped Simon as he nodded and quickly brushed past Raphael. His whole body was wound up as he hurried into his room and shut the door. But he bypassed his makeshift bed on the floor and went into the bathroom. He had the shower going within seconds and eased his sweats over his turgid cock where it lay pressed against his abdomen. His need had him climbing into the shower stall before the water was even lukewarm and his hand began jerking up and down his dick relentlessly. It took just minutes for his balls to draw up tight against his body and with the sound of Raphael’s voice whispering his name, Simon came hard and fast.

  
Panting heavily, Simon kept stroking his cock as he leaned his head against his arm. The amazing beauty of his first kiss with another man was tempered by the fact that he’d fucked it up by freaking out when he’d felt Raphael’s touch on his ass. It hadn’t been that he didn’t want the contact – it’d just been such a foreign sensation that he’d been caught off guard by it – or what it meant, rather.

  
Simon released his dick and turned around so his back was pressed against the smooth tiles. He’d been so caught up in trying to stave off an episode after hearing the gunshots that he hadn’t even noticed Raphael was touching him at first. And when he finally had, whatever fear that had remained had disappeared and was replaced with a raw, aching need. The same need he’d been plagued with since the day he and Raphael had sparred and then gone swimming. It was exactly the same as what he’d felt around Jace too after the other man had shared his heartbreak over the loss of his sister.

  
Letting his body slide down to the floor, Simon closed his eyes and let the water pelt his face. While he knew there was nothing wrong with being attracted to another man – or in his case, two – he wasn’t sure what to make of it since he’d only ever been attracted to women. Though, if he were being honest, there had been one man in his life who’d stirred something deep within him that he’d been unwilling to examine. But comparing what he’d felt for that man to the all-consuming need that Jace and Raphael brought out in him was like comparing the flame on a match to the inferno of a bonfire. And no matter what angle he looked at it from, in all likelihood, he was going to end up getting burned.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Jace put his car in park but couldn’t find the energy to get out. Between the extended hours at work and the long drive back and forth to the cabin, Jace was definitely starting to feel the strain. Add in the fact that every day he kept Simon’s location a secret from his brothers was another day he continued to lie to the only family he had left, as well as the never ending lust that wracked his body, and he was nearing his breaking point. He’d briefly considered reaching out to Sebastian earlier today but something he didn’t want to think too much about kept him from making the call. Not that Sebastian would necessarily even be willing to meet him since their last interlude hadn’t exactly ended on the best note.

  
A knock on his window had Jace turning to see that Raphael was waiting for him. They hadn’t spoken since the day Jace had told Raphael about Jordan beyond a few necessary words to coordinate their schedules and give updates on Simon to one another. The man looked as shitty as Jace felt.

  
“Bad night?” Jace asked as he climbed out of the car.

  
“I’ve got a job so I’m not sure when I can get back,” was all Raphael said as he turned and began walking to his car.

  
“No problem,” Jace said as he followed, his eyes taking in the tension that was rolling off of Raphael in waves. “I’ve got a lot of vacation time saved up. I’ll tell my Captain I have a family emergency.”

  
Raphael opened the door to the backseat of his car and tossed his bag in. He had yet to look at Jace and that fact bothered Jace more than it should. “You okay?” he asked.

  
“There was a hunter in the area last night. Simon did great – he kept it together on his own.”

  
Something in the man’s voice was wrong and when he opened the car door to get behind the wheel, Jace stepped forward and slammed it shut before he could get in.

  
“What’s going on with you?” Jace asked softly.

  
“I’ll text you when the job’s done and I’m on the way back.”

  
It wasn’t the wisest thing to do but Jace grabbed Raphael’s arm. “Talk to me.”

  
“Talk to you?” Raphael said with a harsh laugh. “Now you want to talk?”

  
Jace didn’t really have a response to that so he kept his mouth shut.

  
“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Raphael muttered as he tried to open the door once more.

  
An irrational fear went through Jace that whatever was driving Raphael to leave like this would be the same thing that kept him from coming back. “I don’t know if I can do this without you.”

  
That got Raphael’s attention and his steely eyes met Jace’s.

  
Jace fidgeted as the truth of his own words sank in. “He needs you…I need you,” Jace whispered. He forced his eyes to stay on Raphael even though his nerves had him wanting to drop his gaze. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d admitted such vulnerability to anyone, let alone a man he couldn’t deny his attraction to.

  
“I don’t get you, Jace,” Raphael finally said.

  
“If it makes you feel any better, sometimes I don’t get me either,” Jace admitted. “Drive safe,” he added as he reluctantly turned and headed back to his car to get his stuff.

  
“Jace.”

  
Jace forced himself to turn around and tried to mentally prepare himself for whatever Raphael was going to say.

  
“I’ll see you soon,” Raphael said. And then he was getting in his car and driving away leaving Jace in his wake.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Simon bit back the combination of disappointment and desire that went through him at the sight of Jace reaching into the cabinet to pull out a couple of coffee mugs. Disappointment because Jace’s presence meant Raphael was gone and had left without even saying goodbye and desire because Jace’s jeans were drawn tight over his ass. Jace hadn’t noticed him yet so Simon took his time studying Jace’s muscular build and the way his clothes lovingly hugged his body. Biceps bulged beneath a grey T-shirt that clung to Jace’s broad chest and he had a heavy gold watch on his right wrist which meant he was likely left-handed. His thick, caramel streaked blonde hair made Simon wonder what it would feel like if he ran his fingers through it.

“Morning. Coffee?”

  
Simon jerked out of his daze and hoped like hell Jace hadn’t noticed him staring.

  
“Please,” Simon said as he went to the refrigerator and pulled out the milk.

“Raphael told me what happened last night - he said you did great.”

  
Simon nearly dropped the milk at Jace’s words but then he realized Jace was talking about the gunshots.

  
“I did okay, I guess,” he said as he placed the milk on the counter and reached for the mug Jace had filled for him.

  
“I’m really proud of you, Simon,” Jace murmured just before he took a sip of his coffee. Simon nearly moaned at the sight of his lips caressing the mug.

  
“Thanks,” Simon managed to say. “So Raphael left?”

  
“Yeah, he had a job. Not sure when he’ll be back.”

  
Simon managed to pour some milk into his coffee but had to force the bitter brew down since it suddenly tasted like sawdust in his mouth. So Raphael hadn’t even stayed long enough for them to talk about what had happened last night. Maybe he’d lost interest after Simon’s momentary freak out. Maybe he’d never really even been interested.

  
“Any idea what you want to do today?” Jace asked.

  
Simon lifted his eyes to meet Jace’s and another flash of lust went through him. He wondered what would happen if he reached out and took the mug from Jace’s broad fingers and then dragged him down for a kiss. Would his lips be as firm as Raphael’s? Would his hands electrify Simon’s skin wherever he touched it? Would he moan Simon’s name against his lips like Raphael had? He highly suspected the answer to all three questions would be yes.

  
_What the hell was wrong with him?_

  
It was unlikely that Jace was even gay. Hell, was he even gay himself? Or bi? Growing up, he’d had his fair share of girlfriends and he’d been attracted to Heidi from the first time he’d met her. He’d always thought the sex was pretty good but the few stolen moments with Raphael last night had made him harder than he’d ever been and jerking off in the shower with an image of Raphael had made him come so hard that he’d been unable to remain standing afterwards. And he’d never obsessed over a woman the way he did with Raphael and Jace.

“Simon?”

  
“Sorry, what?” he asked as he struggled to remember what he and Jace had been talking about.

  
“I asked if there was something in particular you wanted to do today.”

  
“Right,” Simon said. His whole body itched and felt restless and he knew he wouldn’t be able to sit still long enough next to Jace to do any fishing. And he sure as hell didn’t want to go hiking and watch Jace strip off his shirt as he was often inclined to do as the sun’s rays beat mercilessly down on them.

  
“Can we go somewhere?” he finally asked.

  
Jace looked at him with concern but finally nodded. “Sure. Did you have a place in mind?”

  
“Town.” His response surprised even himself since the whole point of coming up here had been to get away from people.

  
“You sure?” Jace asked worriedly.

  
Simon nodded. “I need this, Jace.”

  
Jace swallowed the rest of his coffee down and put his mug into the sink. “Let’s go.”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Jace leaned back against the seat as the GTO’s engine rumbled as he let the car roll to a stop at the last light on the way out of town. It was the first time Simon had let him drive the car though he suspected that stemmed more from the fact that driving seemed to relax Simon in a way that nothing else could. And with the stress he’d put himself through this past week, Simon had needed to take advantage of anything that would help him remain in control. But today it seemed like everything had caught up with Simon and he’d handed the keys to Jace with a tired smile. And within minutes of Jace putting the car in gear, Simon had fallen asleep.

  
Jace glanced over at the young man whose head lolled to the side. Warmth spread through Jace at how at peace Simon looked and Jace had to resist the urge to reach out and run his fingers across his cheek. Since the day Raphael had left, they’d been following the same routine of driving into the small town at the base of the mountain but Simon had pushed himself a little more every day. The first day had just been parking the car near a small harbour and sitting there while Simon tried to process the noise and commotion as cars and tourists accessed the many attractions. 

  
Day two had been a repeat of day one but by day three Simon had insisted on getting out and walking around. He’d tensed up as people walked towards them and had always looked over his shoulder as they passed but he hadn’t had any episodes. Day four had been walking around the town itself but the sound of a car backfiring had almost destroyed the progress Simon had made. Jace had managed to talk him down before his anxiety caused him to react violently to the people that moved past them, completely unaware of the danger they were potentially in. And today…today had been a fucking miracle because Simon had insisted that they sit in a restaurant and eat a meal. The sound of several dishes crashing to the floor as two wait staff collided had put Simon on edge momentarily, but then he’d smiled at Jace and said he was okay before Jace could even ask. They’d still walked around the area but Simon had been so relaxed that Jace had actually felt tears sting his eyes. Because for the first time since this nightmare had started, Jace saw a glimpse of the old Simon. The Simon that smiled for no reason. The one whose eyes shone with pleasure because of something as simple as someone’s friendly dog coming up to say hi.

  
“You like the car,” Jace heard Simon murmur. Jace gave him a brief glance and felt his stomach drop out at the soft look on Simon’s face. He looked…content.

  
Too overwhelmed to speak, Jace managed a nod.

  
“It looks good on you,” Simon said. His silky smooth voice had Jace’s whole body tightening up and it wasn’t until the car behind them honked its horn that Jace realized he’d been staring at Simon…or rather, they’d been staring at each other. Jace managed to press the gas pedal down enough to get the car moving.

  
“I always wanted a car like this,” Jace admitted.

  
“Why didn’t you get one?”

  
“Too flashy I guess.”

  
“You think I’m too flashy?” Simon said with a laugh and the sound actually caused goose-bumps to skitter across Jace’s skin.

  
“No,” Jace responded with a chuckle. “I think you can pull this kind of car off. Even when you were a kid.”

  
“You didn’t know me when I was a kid,” Simon said with confusion.

  
“I guess you seemed that way when we first met.”

  
“I remember. It was at Dot and Magnus’ wedding.”

  
A flicker of pain went through Jace at the mention of his sister but he forced it away. “You were the life of the party,” Jace said softly.

  
“And you stayed in the shadows,” Simon countered.

  
Simon had him there. The only pleasure he’d found that evening among a group of virtual strangers had been in watching Simon.

  
“Crowds have never really been my thing,” Jace said.

  
“I guess we have something in common now,” Simon said. Jace gave him a quick look but relaxed when he saw that Simon didn’t seem upset by the observation.

  
“You’ll get there,” Jace said. “You’re making amazing progress.”

  
Simon was quiet for so long that Jace looked over at him once more. He was startled to see Simon’s warm eyes studying him with curiosity.

  
“What?” Jace asked, unnerved by the intensity in Simon’s gaze.

  
“If I get back there…back to who I was – will you still be there?”

  
Jace had no clue what Simon was talking about so he said, “We’ll always be friends.”

  
“Friends?” Simon said quietly. “Is that what we are?”

  
Was that disappointment in Simon’s eyes? 

  
Jace’s phone rang suddenly and whatever tension had been in the air was broken. He glanced at the Caller ID but didn’t recognize the number. As much as he wanted to clear up whatever confusion was going on between him and Simon, Jace knew he couldn’t risk missing a call from work. He’d handed most of his cases over to Raj and he didn’t want something to get thrown out of court on a technicality because the new guy didn’t follow protocol.

  
“I need to take this,” Jace said as he reached for the phone and pulled the car over to the side of the road.

  
“Hello?”

  
“Detective Wayland?”

  
“Yes, who is this?”

  
“Detective Wayland, this is Andrew Underhill.”

  
Jace’s gut seized as he recognized the name. Raphael’s friend.

  
“I’m not sure if you remember me,” Andrew started to say.

  
“I do. Is Raphael okay?”

  
Simon went on alert next to him but Jace didn’t dare take his attention off the call.

  
“Um, he told me not to call you but I think he needs some help.” The man’s voice was unsteady and Jace forced himself to keep his own tone calm and collected.

  
“It’s okay, Andrew. Tell me what happened.”

  
“He’s in jail. He shot someone.”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

  
“Where is he?” Jace snapped as he shot past Raj and began searching Raj’s desk until he found the file he was looking for.

  
“Lock up.”

  
“What are the charges?” Jace asked just as he found the file. When Raj didn’t answer him immediately Jace looked up. “What the fuck are the charges, Raj?”

  
“He hasn’t been charged with anything.”

  
Rage went through Jace as he pulled up a program on Raj’s computer and began typing. “Then what the hell is he doing in lock up?”

  
“Captain…” Raj began to say but stuttered to a stop.

  
“Spit it out Raj,” Jace shouted as he quickly scanned the screen in front of him before closing the program out. He strode towards the back of the building and wasn’t surprised when Raj fell in step behind him.

  
“Captain Morgenstern said to put him there. He said he’d deal with him in the morning.”

  
“And you didn’t think to speak up?” Jace bit out. “The prosecutor tells you the shooting was justified and he’s not pursuing charges yet you still put the guy in lock up.”

  
“Captain said-”

  
“Fuck, Raj. You ever going to grow a pair?”

  
“Captain said the guy’s bad news. He’s going to talk to the prosecutor about additional charges – evading arrest, leaving the scene…”

  
Jace slammed through the door leading to the cells and flipped open the file in his hand. “Did you get his statement?” he snapped.

  
“He wouldn’t give it to me.”

  
Jace shoved the file at Raj and didn’t wait to see if he would take it. He found Raphael in the last cell and winced at how wrong it looked to see him confined to the small space. How the hell had he ever thought Raphael was the type of guy who belonged in a place like this?

  
“Open it,” he said to Raj though he kept his eyes on Raphael. He had no doubt that Raphael wasn’t pleased to see him.

  
When Raj didn’t move fast enough to suit him, Jace grabbed the key from his lax fist and opened the cell.

  
“Detective,” Raj began to say.

  
“Let’s go,” Jace said to Raphael. Raphael didn’t argue with him but he knew that the second they had more privacy, all hell was going to break loose. Little did Raphael know that Jace was more than ready for the fight.

  
“Detective Wayland, you can’t-”

  
“The hell I can’t,” Jace snarled. “This man is in my custody now. If Morgenstern wants to try and press some bullshit charges, tell him to contact Mr. Santiago’s attorney.”

  
Jace stomped past Raj and led Raphael from the room. He was glad Raphael kept his mouth shut until they reached the car but he was surprised at how calm the man sounded when he finally spoke.

  
“Where’s Simon?”

  
Jace started the car. “With Andrew.”

  
“You shouldn’t have come here, Jace. I was handling it,” Raphael said with obvious irritation.

  
“Is that what you were doing in that jail cell? Handling it? Did you even think to call a lawyer at least?”

  
“I don’t need a lawyer. Morgenstern would have backed off,” Raphael stated.

  
“Oh yeah? Like all the other times?”

  
Raphael’s head whipped around and he finally looked as enraged as Jace felt.

  
“What the hell did Andrew tell you?”

  
“Just that Morgenstern’s had it in for you for years. He wouldn’t tell me why. I looked up your record. Multiple arrests for shoplifting and vandalism when you were a kid. Two for disorderly conduct and assault after you turned eighteen. One of those assaults was against Morgenstern himself.”

  
Raphael turned his head away and stared out the window but kept silent.

  
“So that’s it? I don’t get any explanation?”

  
“I don’t owe you anything,” Raphael responded.

  
The comment both infuriated and stung Jace at the same time. It had been ridiculous to think that he and Raphael would ever be anything other than enemies to one another. Jace put the car in gear.

  
“I need to go back to the hospital,” Raphael said when they reached the parking lot exit.

  
“Tell me about the shooting,” Jace said.

  
“You know Bat Velasquez?”

  
“He’s one of Magnus’ men. He was protecting Alec last year when we realized Catarina’s father was still alive.” He and Bat hadn’t really gotten along, especially since Jace had initially struggled with the knowledge that Magnus had moved on from Dot so quickly – something he knew now not to be true because he had no doubt that Magnus continued to still hold a place in his heart for her even as he built a future with Alec.

  
“Bat found Jordan in L.A. and brought him back to New York a couple weeks ago after someone took a shot at him. He asked me to watch Jordan this past week while Jordan did some volunteer work at Alec’s foundation.”

  
Jace couldn’t help but be surprised not only that Jordan was back, but that he was working with his brother’s lover. He had a ton of questions that he wanted to ask but kept silent as Raphael continued.

  
“Bat had me shadow him and Jordan this weekend when they went on an outing. We got back a few hours ago. I guess Magnus and Ragnor were waiting for them in Bat’s apartment when we got back but I don’t know what happened – I just saw them leaving. Less than an hour later I see Bat come running out of the building yelling Jordan’s name. Turns out Jordan took off on Bat and had exited the building through the garage so I wouldn’t see him. 

He was crossing the street when a car came out of nowhere and tried to run him down. Bat got to him in time and took the brunt of the impact.”

  
“Fuck,” Jace whispered. “Is Bat okay?”

  
Raphael shook his head. “He was unconscious after the car hit them. Jordan was banged up pretty bad too. Fucker got out of the car and pointed a gun at Jordan. I got him before he could pull the trigger.”

  
“Jesus.”

  
“The ambulance got there before any cops did so I followed it to the hospital so I could stay with Jordan until I was able to reach his brothers. I asked the security guard in Bat’s building to stay with the body and to let the cops know who I was and where I’d gone. Jordan was a fucking mess when he got out of the ambulance – I guess Bat had a seizure on the way there. Magnus and Ragnor got there about a half an hour later. Cops showed up a few minutes later and arrested me.”

  
Jace’s phone rang and he glanced at the Caller ID. “It’s Ragnor,” he said to Raphael. “Yeah,” he said into the receiver. “No, I already got him out. I’m bringing him to the hospital now. How’s Bat?” he asked. He felt Raphael’s eyes on him.

  
“And Jordan?” It took only another minute to get the information he needed and when he hung up he spared Raphael a glance. “Bat’s in surgery – they needed to relieve the swelling in his brain. Jordan’s okay but he’s pretty fucked up about Bat.”

  
Raphael sighed and nodded. As Jace pulled into the hospital parking lot and stopped in front of the Emergency Room entrance, Raphael gave him an odd look…regretful almost. “You shouldn’t have put Simon at risk to come here.”

  
Disappointment went through Jace at the criticism. “You know what, Raphael. Fuck you,” he snapped. “You want to handle this shit by yourself, you go right ahead. Get yourself a lawyer because you’re going to fucking need it because I’m done.”

  
Raphael didn’t respond and the second he was out of the car and the door slammed closed, Jace hit the gas. Maybe Raphael didn’t need him but Simon sure as hell did.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Simon watched Andrew move slowly behind the bar as he stocked bottles of liquor in the rack behind the bar. Something about the man’s gait wasn’t quite right.

  
“Lost it to an IED,” Andrew said and Simon looked up and realized he’d been staring.

  
“Sorry,” he said.

  
Andrew shrugged. “I find it easier just to get it out there instead of watching people try to figure it out for themselves.”

  
“When?” Simon asked.

  
“Two years ago. One minute I’m doing a sweep of some shitty little building on the outskirts of Kabul, next minute I’m waking up in a hospital bed and the doctor’s telling me my leg’s gone below the knee and that I’m lucky to be alive. The two guys doing the sweep with me weren’t so lucky.”

  
Simon studied Andrew and figured they were close to the same age. He was quite attractive but Simon didn’t feel the same sexual pull that he did towards Jace and Raphael which served only to confuse him more. The man had been extremely welcoming when Jace had dropped him off, but it had been his boss, Jocelyn, who’d caught Simon off guard when she quickly told the few patrons in the bar to get out. There had been a few grumbles but no one had argued with the big woman when she shoved them out the door and locked it and then turned off the Open light. She’d then made herself scarce, but not before telling Andrew she’d be in the back if he needed her.

  
“How did you and Raphael meet?” Simon asked. Part of him really wanted to know but another part of him was concerned he wouldn’t want to hear the truth.

  
“We met in Iraq about a year before he was discharged.”

  
“You served in the same unit?”

  
“No, just on the same base. The only thing we had in common was that we were both gay. But somehow it just worked out and we hit it off. It was easy to keep in touch after he left the service. I didn’t have any place to call home after I got out so I picked New York in case he ended up coming back here after his merc days were over.”

  
It was the first time Simon had heard confirmation that Raphael was gay and the fact that Andrew was too only made Simon wonder more at the true nature of their friendship.

  
“We’ve never been together,” Andrew suddenly said and Simon glanced up from the countertop he’d been idly rubbing circles into with his finger.

  
“None of my business,” Simon murmured, though the relief that went through him was ridiculous.

  
“You sure about that?” Andrew asked as he slid a few wet glasses across the bar and handed Simon a towel.

  
He automatically began drying them as he contemplated how much to say. The man across from him was a stranger but the fact that Raphael clearly trusted him had Simon already feeling comfortable around him. When Jace had told him that Raphael was in jail, Simon had been beside himself with worry and he’d been the one to insist that they go and get him. But he’d been smart enough to know that he wasn’t in any shape to go into a busy police precinct or to even wait in the car so when Jace had suggested they ask Andrew to keep an eye on him, he’d readily agreed. He hadn’t expected to like the guy and he certainly hadn’t thought he’d be contemplating discussing something as sensitive as his sexuality with the best friend of one of the men he was obsessed with, but maybe having someone to talk to about it would help him figure out the jumble of emotions he couldn’t seem to escape.

  
“Can you…. tell something…. about me?” Simon finally asked and he winced at how childish the question sounded, especially since he was asking it in such a roundabout way.

  
“You mean is my gaydar going off?” Andrew said with a chuckle.

  
Simon couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, I guess so.”

  
“I didn’t need gaydar to see the worry in your eyes when you told Jace to go get Raphael. Or the jealousy when you thought he and I were something more than friends to each other.”

  
“Shit,” Simon muttered. “Andrew, I’m sorry…”

  
“Sorry for what?” Andrew said. “It’s about time Raphael found someone who cares enough about him to be jealous. But that’s not the only problem, is it?”

  
Fuck, he was completely transparent. Except to the two men who mattered apparently.

  
“It doesn’t matter. I don’t think they’ll ever be able to see me as anything other than damaged and broken. And that’s not even taking into consideration the fact that Jace is probably straight. Or that Raphael’s loyalties lie first and foremost with my brothers.”

  
Andrew began collecting the glasses Simon had been drying. 

  
“So let me make sure I’ve got this straight,” he began. “You managed to join one of the most elite units the armed forces has to offer and spent the better part of ten years completing missions that saved countless lives. You lived through what I can only imagine was pure hell for more than a year and when you finally escaped, you had the guts to walk away from the only family you have to keep them safe. But you won’t fight for what you want with Raphael and Jace? Hell, fight’s not even the right word considering you’re not even willing to step into the ring.”

  
Why did the way Andrew said it make it sound so simple when the emotions that were running through him were anything but?

  
Simon handed Andrew the last glass and shook his head. “I gotta say Andrew, your talents are wasted behind that bar.” He’d meant the comment as a compliment but the sudden sadness that came over Andrew’s features caught him off guard.

  
“Hey man, I’m sorry-”

  
His words were interrupted when there was a sharp rapping on the door. Simon instantly jumped to his feet and automatically put his back against the bar so he’d have both his hands free to defend himself.

  
“Simon, it’s Jace,” he heard Andrew say from behind him, his voice low and soft.

  
The panic in Simon’s chest eased somewhat but he couldn’t make himself fully relax. Footsteps came around the bar but he was glad when Andrew didn’t touch him.

  
“I’m going to go let him in now, okay?” Andrew said quietly though he didn’t actually move until Simon managed to nod. Then Jace was standing in front of him, his big hands running up and down his arms.

  
“Shit, Simon, I’m sorry. I should have called to say I was here,” Jace said.

  
Simon’s voice finally returned to him and he willed himself to calm down. “So much for thinking I’d made progress, huh?” he said.

  
“You fucking amaze me every day, Simon,” Jace said and Simon’s body jolted when Jace’s hand briefly caressed his cheek. God, how he wanted to believe the move wasn’t just about offering comfort.

  
“Where’s Raphael?” he asked when he realized Jace was alone. Jace’s expression hardened at the mention of Raphael and he dropped his hand.

  
“I’ll tell you in the car,” Jace said. “Let’s get going. We have a long drive back.”

  
Simon nodded. Before Jace’s arrival he’d been thinking that maybe they could stay in the city overnight but one look at Jace’s tired features had him rethinking that plan. Being around the hustle and bustle of a neighbourhood, no matter how quiet, would mean that Jace would have to be on a higher level of alert to make sure Simon didn’t have one of his moments. And despite the strides he’d thought he’d made this past week, his reaction a moment ago made it clear that he still had a ways to go. At least at the cabin he’d be more relaxed which meant Jace could get the rest he clearly needed.

  
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

  
“I thought I made it clear you weren’t welcome here anymore.”

  
Raphael wasn’t surprised to see that Jace was sitting on the living room couch since he’d seen the lights on as he’d driven up the dirt road that led to the cabin. He also wasn’t surprised at the anger that lingered in Jace’s tone. Raphael had been hoping they could hash this shit out in the morning but he doubted Jace was going to go for that. Not that Raphael could blame him – not after the way he’d treated Jace today.

  
“You said you were done but that doesn’t mean I am,” Raphael said as he dropped his bag to the ground and locked the door.

  
“How’s Bat?” Jace asked.

  
“He made it through surgery but he hasn’t woken up yet. Doctors are worried about possible brain damage.”

  
Jace fell silent and Raphael used the moment to study the man on the other side of the room. He looked worn out.

  
“Why are you still up?” Raphael asked.

  
“Go home, Raphael,” was Jace’s response as he stood and began moving towards the kitchen. Raphael stepped in front of him to cut him off and was satisfied to see Jace suck in a sharp breath. The man might be pissed at him but he still wanted him.

  
“You said you needed me,” Raphael whispered. “You said you couldn’t do this without me.”

  
He reached out to touch Jace but he stepped back before Raphael could make contact.

  
“So is that what this is about, Santiago? You like being needed but you’re such a big, tough badass that you don’t need anyone or anything?” Jace snapped.

  
Jace tried to move past him again but Raphael grabbed him by the arm. Before Jace could utter a protest or pull free of him, Raphael yanked him forward and crushed their mouths together. Jace fought him briefly but as soon as Raphael ran his tongue over Jace’s lips, his mouth opened and Raphael surged inside. The kiss was raw and carnal but before he could explore any farther, Jace shoved him away and wiped at his mouth. The pain at seeing Jace try to wipe away the evidence of what had just happened between them went bone deep and Raphael didn’t know if he wanted to walk away or grab Jace again and show him how good it could be between them.

  
“Get out,” Jace said harshly. The fact that he wasn’t raising his voice meant Simon was likely asleep and Jace feared waking him. Raphael had no issue with using that fact to his advantage.

  
“Is that really what you want, Jace? Because that’s not what your body is saying,” he said as he looked pointedly at Jace’s crotch and the outline of the erection pressed against his jeans.

  
“Is this just a game to you, Raphael?” Jace asked, his voice losing all of its anger. “Did you come all the way out here to spite me or something? To force me to admit that I’m attracted to men? Or is it that you want to hear me say I’m attracted to you?” Jace looked so dejected that Raphael didn’t stop him when Jace went to move past him once more.

  
“Valentine Morgenstern is sleeping with my mother,” he forced out just before Jace stepped around him. Humiliation flooded through Raphael as he felt Jace stop next to him but he forced himself to continue. “It’s been going on for almost twenty years…since the first time he arrested me on a bogus shoplifting charge when I was fifteen.”

  
This time it was Raphael who moved. He stepped farther into the living room but kept his back to Jace.

  
“Does your mother know Morgenstern is married?” he heard Jace ask.

  
“She knows. She’s known from day one but she believes him every time he says he’s getting ready to leave his wife for her. In the beginning he needed to wait till his wife gave birth to their kid. Then it was waiting till the youngest kid was in high school, then college. His latest thing is he needs to retire first.”

  
“Why does he have it in for you?”

  
Raphael forced himself to turn around though he found it difficult to raise his gaze. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d been unable to look another man in the eyes.

  
“Because I was always a threat…someone who knew his dirty little secret. He also knew I was trying to convince her to break things off with him so he kept pinning shit on me to drive a wedge between me and her.”

  
“Did she believe him?” Jace asked softly.

  
“She said she didn’t but I was never really sure. It had been just me and her for so long…anyway, when I was fifteen I threatened to tell his superiors. He lost it and came after me. He did this,” Raphael said as he trailed his fingers over the jagged scar on his cheek. “Beer bottle,” he added. “I thought for sure I had enough to get him out of our lives after that but he threatened to call Immigration and have my mother deported if I said anything.”

  
“But if your mother’s been in this country since you were born-”

  
“She was too afraid to apply for citizenship after her work visa expired. The only family she had, had disowned her when they found out an American tourist had gotten her pregnant so she had nothing to return to. We moved around a lot until I was five and then settled here.”

  
“Your father?” Jace asked.

  
“He brought her over here when she told him she was pregnant but he didn’t want to marry her. He left her just before I was born and died in a car accident a year later. She named me Raphael because it was what he’d talked about naming me before he left her.”

  
“What happened with Morgenstern?”

  
“I knew my mom wasn’t going to leave him and that she’d believe whatever lies he told her. I didn’t want to force her to choose between us so I dropped out of high school. The dyslexia made it hard for me to keep up with my classes and I knew I wasn’t going to graduate anyway, so I enlisted. The recruiter had a quota to fill so he lied about me having a diploma and the dyslexia. I only came home a half a dozen times in the past fifteen years. When Ragnor offered me a permanent role after we found Simon, I decided to give this place another try.”

  
Raphael finally managed to lift his gaze and was surprised to find that Jace had moved closer. He wanted so badly to reach for him that he had to clench his fists at his side.

  
“Why didn’t you call me when you were arrested today?”

  
“I didn’t want you to see me like that. I don’t ever want you to see me like that.”

  
“Like what?” Jace asked gently.

  
“Like a loser,” he admitted. He couldn’t help but drop his eyes again as he forced himself to say the name Valentine Morgenstern had so often referred to him as in front of his mother…the name she’d never openly refuted to her lover.

  
“Jace, I’m sorr-”

  
The last word never made it past his lips because Jace was suddenly kissing him. He groaned as Jace’s tongue slipped into his mouth and he couldn’t help but wrap his arms around Jace’s waist to keep him from retreating again. The kiss was slow and sweet and so very different from either of the two kisses they’d shared previously. It felt like Jace was worshipping him and he fucking loved it. It was all he could do to beg Jace not to stop this time but his words weren’t necessary because Jace’s hand wrapped around the back of his neck to hold him in place and Raphael knew in that instant that Jace wasn’t going anywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Sneak Peak* - Chapter 4
> 
> “Simon, I should have told you…” Jace began to say but Simon cut him off by placing his thumb over Jace’s lips. To his shock, the rough digit began slowly dragging back and forth over his lower lip as if testing the texture.
> 
> “Are they as soft as they look?” he heard Simon ask.
> 
> “Yes,” Raphael whispered, though his voice sounded even huskier than it usually did. “But you shouldn’t take my word for it.”


	4. Chapter: 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Jace, please,” Simon whispered harshly.
> 
> “Please, what?” Jace asked.
> 
> “Please, I need to come.”
> 
> “Jesus,” Raphael muttered as he shifted desperately against the seat but the move provided absolutely no relief.
> 
> “Should I let him come, Raphael?”
> 
> “No,” Raphael said softly. “Keep him there,” he ordered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys
> 
> 1\. Thank you so much for the feedback - it really means the world to me.
> 
> 2\. I really hope you like this chapter, so here goes.....

  
Jace backed Raphael up until he hit the wall and breathed a soft “yes” when Raphael’s hands palmed his ass. It felt so good to feel the life surging through Raphael once again after watching all of it seemingly drain away as he admitted the truth about Valentine Morgenstern and his mother. It didn’t surprise Jace one bit that Morgenstern was an adulterer as well as an all-around bastard but to know what the cruel man had put Raphael through had enraged Jace. And that the man continued to wield his power over Raphael by using his mother’s immigration status against him was just mind boggling.

  
As Raphael’s hands coasted up his back, Jace closed his eyes and let Raphael take control of the kiss. But when he suddenly broke it off and held Jace back when Jace tried to push forward, Jace hesitated. Had he done something to turn him off? But a quick glance up at Raphael’s face told Jace everything he needed to know and horror went through him as he realized they were no longer alone. He turned and saw that Simon was watching them from the entryway to the kitchen.

  
“Simon” he whispered stupidly as he dropped his hands from where they’d been resting on Raphael’s waist.

  
He couldn’t gauge the expression on Simon’s face as he looked back and forth between him and Raphael but the silence was unnerving.

  
“Simon” Raphael started to say but Simon raised a hand as if to silence him and a chill went through Jace when Simon’s bright eyes came to rest on him. Simon had yet to speak but since Jace was at a complete loss for words, it didn’t matter at the moment.

  
Simon finally began moving and Jace was caught off guard when Simon didn’t stop until he was almost completely in Jace’s space. Their bodies were mere inches apart.

  
“Simon, I should have told you…” Jace began to say but Simon cut him off by placing his thumb over Jace’s lips. To his shock, the rough digit began slowly dragging back and forth over his lower lip as if testing the texture.

  
“Are they as soft as they look?” he heard Simon ask.

  
“Yes,” Raphael whispered, though his voice sounded even huskier than it usually did. “But you shouldn’t take my word for it.”

  
_What the fuck?_

  
Jace opened his mouth to ask what was going on but the words died in his throat when Simon suddenly leaned forward and replaced his thumb with his lips. The kiss was soft and quick – a mere brush of one mouth against another, but it sent shockwaves through Jace’s entire system. And before he could even register that Simon had indeed just kissed him, it happened again. But where the first kiss had been chaste, this one was not. It was all consuming just like Raphael’s had been and he could only stand there as Simon’s tongue stroked over his for the first time. It felt so amazing that Jace had to lock his knees to stay upright and he let his eyes drift shut just so he wouldn’t be forced to wake up from what had to be the most spectacular dream of his entire life. And then it got better because he felt Raphael’s hard body lining up along his back and a pair of firm lips sought out the nape of his neck.

  
Jace’s whole body lit up as Raphael’s hands disappeared beneath his T-shirt and explored his back while Simon’s kiss grew more and more desperate. And then Jace did what he’d longed to do for so long – he took control of the kiss and plunged his tongue into Simon’s mouth. Simon’s whimpers of need were driving Jace insane and he wrapped his arms around Simon to keep him from backing away. But it was Simon who dragged him closer and began grinding against him. He was already so close to exploding that he knew it wouldn’t take much to send him over.

  
“Beautiful,” he heard murmured in his ear. “Fucking beautiful.” Raphael’s voice skittered over his skin and Jace bit back a moan when he felt blunt fingers disappearing beneath the waistband of his pants. Raphael’s touch was hot and hungry and when a long finger brushed his crack, Jace tore his lips free of Simon’s and reached behind him to drag Raphael’s head down for a searing kiss. A hand began rubbing his dick through his jeans and Jace was too far gone to figure out whose it was. And it didn’t matter because they were both giving him exactly what he’d needed for so long…what he’d been searching for his entire life. And then just like that his world came crashing down as a voice from the past reminded him that he couldn’t be this man – this man that Raphael and Simon would need him to be.

  
“I can’t,” he whispered as he pulled free of Raphael’s mouth and extricated himself from between the two hard bodies that had wrapped around him as if trying to protect him from the outside world. Raphael and Simon both released him, though they looked equally confused.

“Jace,” Raphael began to say.

  
Jace shook his head violently. “I can’t!” he shouted as his body grew cold inside.

  
_Escape._

  
He had to escape because even now he could see their questions and he knew that one more touch from either of them and he’d be unable to walk away. But instead of walking, he ran. And by the time his car reached the main road, the sounds of Simon shouting his name finally began to fade and he allowed the first tears to fall.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Jace’s fingers shook as he opened the motel room door but the sight of Sebastian sitting in his usual spot brought him absolutely no relief. But he forced the unnamed feeling that was rolling through him away and began tugging his T-shirt over his head. The drive back to the city from the cabin had done nothing to ease the feeling of loss that had overtaken him, so he’d called Sebastian from the road and asked him to meet him at their motel. As soon as he’d hung up the phone, a sour taste had permeated his mouth and a voice in his head had screamed at him to turn around. But he’d ignored it and continued on in the hopes that a few minutes with Sebastian would finally silence it.

  
Jace’s desperation grew as he fumbled with the snap on his holster and by the time he got the gun free and had placed it on the nightstand, he knew in his gut that nothing Sebastian did to him would relieve what was happening to him. A ragged sob escaped him and he covered his mouth with his hand in an attempt to stifle the next one. As he lowered himself to sit on the bed, he heard Sebastian shift in his chair.

  
“Sorry,” Jace whispered as he felt Sebastian come to a stop in front of him. To his shock, he felt Sebastian run his fingers through his hair. The comforting move was so unexpected that Jace closed his eyes and actually leaned into his touch.

  
“When are you going to stop punishing yourself, Jace?”

  
Before Jace could answer, someone pounded on the door so hard that it rattled against the frame. He felt Sebastian release him.

  
“Should I answer it?” Sebastian asked.

  
“Jace, open this God damn door or I’m going to open it myself!”

  
“Asked and answered,” Sebastian said dryly.

  
“Open it please,” Jace said as he forced his eyes open and dashed away the few tears that had begun to blur his vision. Sebastian gave him a concerned look and then went to the door and opened it. He seemed unsurprised when Raphael burst in, took one look at Jace’s damp face and grabbed Sebastian by the shirt and slammed him against the wall.

  
“What the fuck did you do to him?” Raphael snarled.

“Let me guess,” Sebastian quipped as he looked Raphael up and down and then glanced to where Simon stood in the doorway. “Raphael and Simon.”

  
“Raphael, let him go,” Jace said softly.

  
Raphael didn’t immediately release Sebastian, though his hold loosened somewhat when he seemed to realize that Jace wasn’t hurt. Simon moved past Raphael and Jace dropped his gaze when he saw the mix of betrayal and confusion in Simon’s eyes as he took in the scene. Warm fingers brushed under his chin and he allowed Simon to tip his head up so that their eyes met.

  
“Are you okay?” Simon asked gently.

  
Jace brought his fingers up to close around Simon’s wrist, but he didn’t try to remove the hand that was now caressing his cheek. He managed to nod and the move seemed to be what Raphael needed to finally release Sebastian.

  
“Out!” Raphael snapped at Sebastian but Jace wasn’t surprised when Sebastian didn’t move. Sebastian’s eyes shifted to his and Jace gave him a quick nod of ascent.

  
“Thank you, Sebastian,” Jace whispered. Although he and Sebastian would cross paths on occasion as a result of their day jobs, Jace knew that no matter what happened tonight, his and Sebastian’s liaisons were over. Sebastian left without another word and Raphael slammed the door behind him.

  
“How did you find me?” Jace asked as he reached for his T-shirt and pulled it over his head.

  
“I remembered this was one of the places you went the day I followed you. We decided to drive by on the way to your apartment just in case you were here and saw your car,” Raphael said. His anger was clear in his tone and in the way his body simmered with tension as he hovered near the door. Jace wondered if he was just trying to get himself under control or if he was half expecting Sebastian to come back into the room.

  
“Why did you leave?” Simon asked as he lowered his hand from Jace’s cheek and sat down on the bed next to him.

  
Jace dropped his head into his hands and rested his elbows on his knees. He’d been avoiding this moment his entire life but it hadn’t done any good. His body was done denying what it wanted and his brain wasn’t far behind.

  
“The cabin belonged to my grandfather. My parents travelled a lot when I was little so I spent almost every weekend there with my grandfather during the school year after my grandmother died when I was four. He taught me how to fish, hunt…everything. He was the only one I had until Dot came along.”

  
Pain wracked Jace’s body as images of his grandfather and Dot bombarded him. God, he missed them.

  
“I had trouble making friends in school and the kids used to pick on me because they thought I was weird. ‘Socially awkward’ the guidance counsellor told my parents on one of the few times they actually made it to a parent-teacher meeting. My parents told me I should try harder to be normal like the other kids. My grandfather said I should tell the kids to fuck off,” Jace said. A small smile flitted across his lips as he remembered his grandfather’s gruff and endearingly simple declaration. He’d been so surprised to hear his grandfather using the F word that it had taken him a while to process that his grandfather was sticking up for him when his parents hadn’t.

  
“I worshipped him,” Jace whispered. “I didn’t even think twice about telling him I was attracted to boys instead of girls. I just expected him to tell me it would be okay…that I was okay.”

  
Simon’s warm hand began to rub up and down his back and Jace stifled the need to beg Raphael to touch him too. But words were unnecessary because Raphael’s hands came up to wrap around Jace’s and force them away from his face. Raphael’s fingers laced with his and Jace focused on the man who had squatted down in front of him.

  
“What happened?” Raphael asked softly.

  
“He told me it was wrong. That it was unnatural. He said I’d go to hell because God hated fags and that’s what I would be. He made me promise I wouldn’t ever act on it or mention it again. I was so afraid of losing him that I swore I wouldn’t. I hoped things would go back to the way they’d been, but he started making excuses that he was busy when I was supposed to go visit him. Whenever I did see him, he asked me if I was a queer.”

  
“How old were you?” he heard Simon ask.

  
“Thirteen,” Jace said. “He died just after I turned seventeen. When I found out he left me the cabin, I saw it as some kind of sign that he really did love me but I convinced myself I had to keep my promise. He was the only one besides Dot who’d ever really loved me but he hated that part of me so I decided to hate it too – to pretend it didn’t exist. So I never told anyone else, not even Dot, and I dated a few girls here and there when I started at the police academy. Then Dot got sick and it just didn’t seem important.”

  
Jace fell silent as he tried to regain control of his mottled breathing. Simon’s soothing touch continued and Raphael made no move to release him. And neither man pressed him to finish his story.

  
“After Dot got better, I went back to work and found out the officer I was assigned to train under was gay. Other officers in the department used to say some pretty bad shit about him and treated him like dirt. I was afraid that by working with him that they would suspect I was gay too so I asked to be reassigned. My request was granted,” Jace said. Tears began to flow down his cheeks.

  
“I ran into him in the locker room the day my request came through. I was so embarrassed but he told me it was okay and that he understood. He told me he thought I was going to be a hell of a cop. That was the last time I saw him. He died that night in a shootout. Maybe if I hadn’t asked to get reassigned…”

  
“You were young and scared, Jace,” Raphael whispered. “It’s not your fault.”

  
Jace reached up to wipe at his tears and a tissue was gently placed in his hand. “I wasn’t with another man for the first time until I was almost twenty-seven. I went down to a gay club in Portland and let some guy pick me up. After that I went to different clubs in different cities when I couldn’t deny the cravings. But the pressure of being discovered was too much so I stopped. I met Sebastian last year. He’s a defence attorney so we’d seen each other a few times in the courthouse and when he came to the precinct to meet with clients. He must have seen something in the way I looked at him because he confronted me one day in the parking lot – said we could give each other what we needed. He had as much to lose as I did so I agreed.”

  
At the mention of Sebastian he felt both Simon and Raphael tense up but neither withdrew from him. “We never kissed or really even touched,” Jace admitted shamefully. “We barely even talked.”

  
“Why did you come here tonight?” Raphael asked. “Is it because Simon and I both-”

  
“No,” Jace quickly said. “No. I wanted what happened at the cabin. I wanted it so badly.”

  
“Then why did you leave?” Simon asked.

  
“Because I wanted it too much,” Jace said again. “And because I’m scared that one time won’t be enough.”

  
“You’re afraid you’ll have to choose between us and the lie you’ve been living,” Raphael offered. Jace almost smiled at Raphael’s bluntness. Though what Raphael said was true, it was only a half truth and even though his brain was warning him to keep his mouth shut, Jace’s gut refused to start whatever this new aspect of their relationship was off with a lie.

  
“I’m afraid I’ll end up with even less than what I have now and what I have now isn’t much.”

  
“Jace,” Simon whispered. Jace forced himself to turn to look at Simon. “This whole thing scares the shit out of me and I have no idea what any of it means but it feels right.” Simon’s hand came up to circle around his neck and Jace sighed when Simon’s lips brushed over his. “Give this a chance, Jace.”

  
Simon released him and Jace turned to Raphael. “Nothing happened between me and Sebastian tonight. He can’t give me what I need,” he said and he glanced at Simon to make sure he’d heard him too.

  
Raphael nodded and rose to his feet and pulled Jace up with him. A deep, hungry kiss followed and then Raphael and Simon were kissing and Jace was sure he’d never seen anything more stunning then the two men wrapped around each other. Where there should be jealousy, there was only a burning hunger.

  
As Raphael reached for him to pull him into their embrace, Jace held back and said, “Not here.”

  
There was no way in hell he’d tarnish the memory of what was about to take place between the three of them by having it happen in this ugly motel room that had only ever served as an escape from his self-imposed prison…this place that had always left him a little emptier every time he left it.

  
“Your place,” he said to Raphael and then he reached for Simon’s hand and laced their fingers together before he dragged Raphael down for one more kiss.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Raphael reached up to adjust the rear-view mirror and bit back a groan at the sight of Jace and Simon kissing as their hands roamed over each other’s bodies. Thank God his townhouse was only a few minutes away because at this rate he’d either end up getting into a car accident because he couldn’t keep his eyes on the road or he’d get arrested for the second time today for speeding and indecent exposure. He hadn’t been willing to risk Jace changing his mind, so he’d insisted that Jace ride with them and they’d return to the motel to get his car later. But he hadn’t considered the fact that Simon would climb in back of the car and that the two men wouldn’t be able to keep their hands off each other.

  
A sliver of doubt went through Raphael that he was the odd man out and that Jace and Simon didn’t really want or need him tonight but his next glance in the mirror nearly stopped his heart. Jace’s eyes connected with his in the reflection as he kissed Simon and they stayed with him as his long, thick fingers began stroking over Simon’s cock through his jeans. Simon’s moans and whimpers filled the car and Raphael bit back a curse as his own dick pressed uncomfortably against his pants. Raphael forced his eyes back to the road but couldn’t stop himself from checking the mirror every few seconds and each time he did, he saw that Simon’s legs were splayed open on the seat bench as Jace rubbed him. But what caught Raphael off guard was that Simon was watching him now too and every time Raphael drove underneath a street lamp, the light illuminated the pleasure that shone in Simon’s eyes as Jace’s caresses drove him higher. And then Jace’s hand slipped inside of Simon’s pants and Simon cried out.

  
“Jace, please,” Simon whispered harshly.

  
“Please, what?” Jace asked.

  
“Please, I need to come.”

  
“Jesus,” Raphael muttered as he shifted desperately against the seat but the move provided absolutely no relief.

  
“Should I let him come, Raphael?”

  
“No,” Raphael said softly. “Keep him there,” he ordered.

  
“Raphael!” Simon nearly yelled. But before he could say anything else, Jace’s mouth closed over his once more and Raphael pushed down on the gas. He was pulling the car into the garage less than three minutes later and he was out of the car before he’d even jammed it into park. He barely remembered to the hit the button to close the garage door before he was striding to the back door and yanking it open. He dragged Simon out and slammed the door closed, then pushed Simon up against the car and crushed their mouths together. He felt Simon’s fingers clutch his shirt and he barely registered the door on the other side of the car opening and closing. As he shoved his tongue down Simon’s throat, he felt fingers working between his and Simon’s hips and then he heard a zipper being dragged down. Simon cried out against his mouth and punched his hips forward and Raphael glanced down to see that Jace had closed his hand around Simon’s length and was stroking him slowly.

  
As Simon writhed against him, Raphael turned and sealed his mouth over Jace’s. Their kiss turned languid and slow but Simon’s escalating moans told Raphael that Jace’s hand had increased its pace. Raphael tore his lips free of Jace’s and dropped to his knees. He looked up and saw that Simon’s eyes were closed.

  
“Simon look at me,” he said firmly. It took Simon several long seconds to respond and he actually didn’t until Jace stopped moving his hand. He seemed surprised to see Raphael on the floor and his mouth parted in anticipation as he registered what was about to happen.

  
“Tell me you want this,” Raphael said. As overwhelmed as Simon was by the all the new sensations bombarding his body, Raphael needed to be sure that he was okay with what was happening.

  
“Yes,” Simon whispered.

  
Raphael held Simon’s gaze as he bypassed Jace’s hand which was still wrapped around Simon’s nearly purple cock and instead licked over one of Simon’s lightly furred balls. He gave the other the same treatment and then sucked it into his mouth.

  
“Fuck,” Simon whispered, but he kept his eyes open. Raphael saw that one of Simon’s hands was hanging on to the door handle of the car while the other encircled Jace’s wrist on the hand he had resting on Simon’s hip.

  
Raphael licked and sucked each testicle over and over and then dragged his tongue up Simon’s length. Jace removed his hand and Raphael shuddered when he felt it stroke over his head and finally come to a stop on the back of his neck. Raphael traced the ridge around the head of Simon’s cock and then flicked his tongue into the slit on the top. He repeated the slow torture and then added to it by sucking just the tip of Simon’s cock into his mouth and making love to it as if it were Simon’s mouth. Simon groaned and tried to punch his hips forward but Raphael used his hands to keep him from moving. He shifted his eyes up and saw that Jace and Simon were going at it with rushed, desperate kisses.

  
“Raphael, please!” Simon shouted as he ripped his mouth from Jace’s. Jace’s mouth immediately began sucking on his neck and his big hands closed over both of Simon’s wrists to keep him from reaching for Raphael like he clearly wanted to. Raphael decided to take pity on Simon and sucked him in to the root, automatically relaxing his gag reflex. He took in a deep whiff of Simon’s musky scent as he pressed his nose against the wiry hair on Simon’s groin and then dragged back up, applying suction as he went.

  
“Jace, I can’t! It’s too much,” Simon cried out.

  
Raphael swallowed Simon back down and began bobbing up and down on him relentlessly. He released his hold on Simon’s hips and was rewarded with a hard thrust that had him gagging as Simon pushed in as far as he could.

  
“Come for us, baby,” Raphael heard Jace command and the husky order had Raphael almost coming in his pants. Seconds later, he felt the first splash of Simon’s release hit the back of his throat and Simon’s shout of pleasure ricocheted through the garage.

  
“Fuck!” Simon kept repeating the word over and over as his orgasm consumed him. When Simon’s release finally began to slow, Raphael gave him one final lick and then stood and reached for Jace. As they kissed, Jace licked the remnants of Simon’s come off Raphael’s tongue.

  
“I need you,” Jace said against his mouth. “Inside me,” he added and before Raphael could answer, Jace’s mouth was on his again.

  
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

  
Simon couldn’t believe that his sated body was capable of feeling anything after what Raphael had just done to him but sure enough, the sight of Jace and Raphael kissing had his dick stirring once more. And then Jace spoke his words to Raphael and a whole new bout of lust pooled in Simon’s belly.

  
“Inside,” Raphael said and he reached for Jace’s hand and snagged his arm around Simon’s waist.

  
By the time Raphael had dragged them into his bedroom, Simon’s original nerves returned. From the moment he’d covered Jace’s mouth with his back at the cabin, Simon knew what he wanted, but the unknown of being with another man, let alone two, had anxiety mixing with his desire. When he’d first heard Jace and Raphael talking after Raphael’s return to the cabin, he’d feared he’d have to intervene because the anger in Jace’s voice had been palpable. And then Raphael had made his crushing admission about his mother and from Jace’s side of the conversation Simon had figured out that the man who’d put Raphael through so much hell growing up was another cop, someone Jace knew. Learning that Raphael had also been dealing with dyslexia since he was a child had caused several things to click into place for Simon including his mention of wanting to be a fighter pilot when he enlisted but not being able to and the fact that he always used an app on his phone to read texts back to him. Simon could only imagine how vulnerable the disorder must have made Raphael feel growing up or the challenges he faced in the adult world.

  
When he’d heard the pain in Raphael’s voice after he’d told Jace he didn’t want to be seen as a loser, Simon had nearly gone into the living room himself so that he could offer comfort. But it had only taken a few seconds of silence followed by soft moans to tell Simon what was going on and he hadn’t been able to stop himself from turning the corner and entering the kitchen where he had a perfect view of Jace pressing Raphael against the wall. The sight of the two men in each other’s arms had meant so many things to Simon…it had provided confirmation that Jace was into men as well as proof that whatever tension existed between Jace and Raphael hadn’t been about disliking each other.

  
They were utterly beautiful together and as passionate as their kisses had been, the emotion behind them had been something he’d never forget. And something he absolutely needed to be a part of. So when Raphael had seen him, Simon had remembered Andrew’s words about fighting for what he wanted and he’d stepped into the living room and finally done just that. And when Jace had run, he’d been the one to tell Raphael they were going after him. The drive to the city had been done mostly in silence but when Simon’s nerves started to get the best of him, he’d reached his hand across the console and Raphael had been there to take it. But the last thing Simon had expected was to find Jace with another man and he’d felt a betrayal streak through him that was nearly as profound as when he’d learned Heidi had used him.

  
Simon had never thought he’d see someone as strong as Jace look so broken as he sat there in that cheap motel room on the ugly, stained bedspread. And at that point Sebastian’s presence hadn’t mattered to Simon nor had the fact that Jace had sought the other man out instead of choosing to be with him and Raphael. All he’d cared about was taking away Jace’s pain and after hearing about his grandfather’s cruelty, Simon prayed he and Raphael could do just that.

  
As he watched Raphael reach for the hem of Jace’s T-shirt, Simon stifled a moan at the sight of the two men’s bare chests pressing against each other. He wasn’t sure when Raphael’s shirt had been removed, but between the rippling muscles and seeking hands, Simon’s own body began to come alive again and he quickly stepped behind Jace and began trailing his fingers down Jace’s spine. Jace turned his head enough to seek out Simon’s mouth for a kiss and then Raphael was reaching over Jace’s shoulder and stealing a kiss for himself.

  
“Off,” he heard Raphael say as he reached around Jace and tugged on Simon’s shirt. Simon had never considered himself someone who would get a thrill out of taking orders in the bedroom but from the second Jace and Raphael had inflicted their game of sensual torture on him in the car, Simon knew he wouldn’t protest a single thing that either man wanted to do to him. He yanked his shirt off and began working on his pants which he’d managed to zip up but not button before Raphael had dragged them from the garage. As he toed off his shoes, Jace’s pants suddenly dropped to the floor and were quickly followed by his underwear. The sight of Jace’s perfectly round ass had Simon’s heart in his throat and he couldn’t help but stop what he was doing and reach out to run his palms over it.

  
Jace froze up at the contact but pressed back against Simon’s hands a moment later. At some point, Raphael had gotten Jace’s shoes off and the pants were completely gone but Simon was too focused on the flesh beneath his fingers. When he let his pointer finger slip down Jace’s crease, he felt Jace’s hands reach behind him and search out Simon’s thigh. Another hand grabbed one of Simon’s and then a glob of lube was placed on his finger.

  
“Get him ready,” Raphael whispered an instant before he dropped to his knees and sucked Jace’s cock into his mouth.

  
“Shit!” Jace shouted and slammed his hips forward.

  
Simon watched Raphael’s fingers wrap around Jace’s ass, the tips biting into Jace’s pale flesh. And then he was pulling Jace’s cheeks apart and Simon got his first glimpse of Jace’s hole. It flexed over and over as Raphael worked Jace’s dick down his throat and it wasn’t until a bit of the lube dripped onto the floor that Simon woke up from his haze of lust. The second his slick finger brushed over Jace’s opening, Jace whispered a harsh “yes.” It was all the encouragement Simon needed and he began massaging the lube around the hole. He’d never had anal sex with any of the women he’d been with, but he knew Jace would need more preparation so he sucked in a breath and gently began pressing his finger into Jace’s body. The pressure and resistance that he met with were unexpected and a shimmer of uncertainty went through him. He was about to tell Raphael that he couldn’t do this for fear of hurting Jace, but Jace took the decision away from him and pressed his body back against Simon until his hole collapsed and Simon’s finger glided inside to the first knuckle.

  
“Yes,” Jace moaned and he pulled forward almost to the point that Simon’s finger slipped free of him, then shoved back again, sucking Simon’s digit deeper this time around. Jace’s whimpers of pleasure finally registered with Simon and he took over and pushed his finger in as far as it could go. Jace’s body was like a vise and his channel rippled around Simon’s finger as he worked the lube around.

  
“Raphael,” Jace said.

  
Raphael must have heard something in Jace’s voice because he let Jace’s cock slip from his mouth and then he was standing and pulling off his own pants even as he kissed Jace over and over again. Simon pulled his finger from Jace’s body and wasn’t surprised when Jace turned in his arms and began kissing him. Simon felt the bed hit the back of his legs as Jace walked him backwards and then the mattress was cradling his body. Jace quickly tore away the pants that had been wrapped around Simon’s feet and then he was lowering his weight on to Simon’s body. Simon automatically made room for him by opening his legs and he sighed when their cocks brushed. He’d long since gotten hard again and the feel of Jace’s flesh on his had his dick dripping. But he couldn’t help the niggle of fear that went through him. Would Jace want to be inside him while Raphael was fucking him? What if it hurt too much? Would all this come to an end? Would he be left to watch Jace and Raphael lose themselves only in each other because Simon couldn’t be what they needed?

  
“Hey,” Jace whispered.

  
Simon forced his eyes up to meet Jace’s and the gentleness he saw there was humbling. “Nothing happens that you don’t want,” Jace said.

  
Simon nodded and forced the lump of emotion in his throat back so he could speak. “I don’t think I’m ready for you to…” Jesus, he was too much of a fucking coward to even finish the statement. He wanted so badly to be an equal partner but he just couldn’t get past his fear of the unknown.

  
“Just hold me, Simon” Jace breathed against his lips before he kissed him. “I just need you to hold me.”

  
That was something he could absolutely do.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Raphael’s fingers trembled as he rolled the condom down his cock. The sight of Jace and Simon wrapped in each other’s arms and exchanging kisses had Raphael’s knees feeling weak. What was supposed to be a night of simple fucking was turning into something entirely different and even though he knew it was too fast and it wasn’t something any of them could sustain, he wanted it more than he’d ever wanted anything else in his entire life. He finally had a chance to be part of something amazing and even if it was for only one night, he sure as hell was going to take full advantage.

  
As he listened to Jace reassure Simon, Raphael stepped forward and knelt on the bed and settled himself between Jace and Simon’s legs. He let his hands roam over Jace’s back as he enjoyed the sight of Simon’s hands drifting down to knead Jace’s ass. The two men were grinding their cocks together desperately and Raphael knew he’d come long before he ever got inside of Jace if he didn’t speed things up because just listening to their heavy pants and soft whimpers was killing him.

  
“Open him for me,” Raphael said to Simon as their eyes connected and he saw the lust flash in Simon’s eyes as he got Raphael’s meaning and much like Raphael had done earlier, Simon used his hands to split Jace’s cheeks open. The fluttering, lube slickened hole greeted him with hungry anticipation and Raphael quickly guided his cock to it. He placed his palm on Jace’s lower back to hold him steady as he pushed forward and bit out a curse when Jace immediately bore down on him. The heat and pressure that welcomed Raphael had him groaning in relief and he revelled in the feel of Jace’s body pulling him. By the time he was fully seated, Jace’s body was shaking beneath him and he felt a momentary pang of concern.

  
“Jace, am I hurting you?” he asked as reached up to close his hands over Jace’s shoulders. Jace’s face was buried in Simon’s neck and Simon was peppering him with soft kisses.

  
Jace shook his head but didn’t respond otherwise and it was then that Raphael realized Jace was too overcome with whatever he was feeling to speak. Raphael slowly pulled out a bit before pushing back in and Jace moaned in pleasure. With every surge into Jace’s body, Simon and Jace groaned as their cocks slid against each other. Raphael tried to focus on slow, steady strokes that he knew would build up the tension in Jace’s body but when he felt a hand close over his where he had it resting on Jace’s hip, Raphael looked up to see that Simon was watching him with a combination of wonder and something else that went so deep that Raphael was terrified to put a name on it. His control snapped and he began driving into Jace over and over and he quickly used his free hand to pull Jace up enough so he could squeeze his hand between Jace and Simon’s bodies. He wrapped his hand around both their cocks and began stroking them so the pace matched his thrusts.

  
It took just minutes until he felt his balls draw up tight against his body. As fire began to shoot up his spine, Raphael’s measured plunges became choppy and uneven and every time he slammed into Jace, his own body pressed Jace farther onto Simon. He finally gave up the battle and lay flat over Jace as he humped into him repeatedly. He managed to keep his hand on both cocks that pulsed and surged in his hold but it was his hips pushing Jace against Simon that provided the friction that had both Simon and Jace begging for relief. He had no idea who went over first but it didn’t matter because both men beneath him shouted and he felt liquid fire spurt over his hand in endless jets. It was enough for Raphael’s own body to let go and he actually bit into Jace’s shoulder as his release claimed him. His hips jerked endlessly against Jace as blissful agony tore through every nerve ending. And as Jace’s inner walls continued to milk his still pulsing dick, he closed his eyes and smiled when he felt a pair of lips brush over his. He had no idea whose they were and the fact that it didn’t matter scared the shit out of him. But he did the only thing he could do and returned the kiss with everything he had left in him.

  
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

  
Something was wrong. No, not wrong…different. No bad different – just different. It took Simon a moment to figure it out as his eyes slowly came into focus and then he realized what it was. He was in a bed instead of the floor. And not just any bed but a fucking huge one with soft sheets and a heavy comforter. And the pillows…when was the last time he’d used a pillow?

  
Simon glanced at the clock on the nightstand and saw that it was almost eleven. He had no idea if it was eleven at night or in the morning since the curtains were closed. The light on the nightstand was on so he was able to examine his surroundings. The first and most disappointing thing he realized was that he was alone. The next thing he noticed was how warm and inviting the décor of the room was. Everything looked new including the oak bed and dresser as well as the leather chair in the alcove on the far side of the room. There was a flat screen TV on a stand across from the chair and he saw a box sitting near it that said DVDs.

  
There were no pictures on the wall but he did see a few on the dresser including a couple of Raphael with men in military garb. There was also a picture of Raphael with a tiny woman with dark hair. He almost smiled at the thought of someone as big as Raphael coming from a woman as petite as the woman Simon was certain was his mother.

Simon pushed the covers back and swung his legs over the bed. His body still had that pleasantly sated feeling that had overtaken him once his orgasm had worn off. He wasn’t sure how long the three of them had lain there after Raphael had brought them to an explosive climax but he remembered the feel of Jace’s warm breath drifting over his neck as he’d tried to slow his breathing. There’d been no desire to move even as the weight of the two men pressed down on him and he’d actually been disappointed when Raphael had lifted his weight onto his arms. But he hadn’t just disappeared like Simon had thought he might. No, he’d simply locked his arms and began kissing his way along Jace’s neck and shoulders. Then he’d leaned down and stroked his tongue over Simon’s mouth before slipping inside. Not once had any of them spoken and at some point Simon had nodded off because he had no idea what had happened from that point on. A glance at his stomach and dick showed that someone had been thoughtful enough to clean the proof of his and Jace’s release off of him.

  
A sudden sound jerked Simon from his thoughts and he tensed when he heard a computerized woman’s voice saying his brother’s name. He realized it was Raphael’s phone and his eyes settled on Ragnor’s name as the strange sounding ringtone repeated it over and over. A sudden sadness came over him as he realized it would only take one swipe of his finger to hear his brother’s voice. He felt tears sting his eyes as the unexpected longing went through him.

  
“You okay?” he heard Raphael say.

  
Simon looked up and saw that Raphael was leaning against the doorframe of the attached bathroom. A white towel was slung around his hips. If he hadn’t been so distracted, he would have enjoyed the sight of Raphael’s wide chest and broad shoulders.

  
“I miss them,” Simon admitted.

  
A second later Raphael was standing in front of him, his fingers skimming over his hair. He could tell Raphael could feel the scars on his scalp because he would skim each one as his fingers caught on them.

  
“You can answer it,” Raphael said.

  
Simon smiled as he imagined Ragnor’s shock at hearing Simon’s voice out of the blue and then the look on his face as he registered what it meant that it was Raphael’s phone he was answering.

  
“Ragnor was always the most level-headed of all of us but I think he’d blow a gasket if he knew what I’d done.”

  
He felt Raphael drop his hand and was surprised when he stepped back. It was when he saw the look of disappointment on Raphael’s face that he realized the other man had misunderstood him. He grabbed Raphael’s wrist before he could retreat any farther and stood as he pulled Raphael flush with his body.

  
“I meant he’d be upset that I dragged you guys into my disappearing act, not because of what happened last night.”

  
Raphael smiled. “Maybe don’t go into the details about last night. Ragnor’s a pretty understanding guy but you’re still his kid brother.”

  
Simon chuckled but his humor quickly faded as he realized there was only a thin towel separating his and Raphael’s cocks. “Where’s Jace?” he asked as he released Raphael’s wrist and let his hand travel up Raphael’s arm. His fingers pressed against the intricate tattoos that covered the surprisingly smooth skin and he reminded himself that someday he’d need to ask Raphael what they meant.

  
“Making breakfast. Or lunch rather,” Raphael said. His voice had grown heavy and Simon could feel Raphael’s cock pressed against him.

  
“Can I touch you?” Simon asked as his other hand hovered over the spot where Raphael had tucked the towel into itself to keep it on.

  
Raphael only nodded and Simon hoped it was because he was too turned on to do anything else. It took only a flick of the wrist to release the towel and then it was gone. Raphael’s cock stood long and thick against a thatch of dark hair and as he studied it, drops of pre-come leaked from the head. The sight had Simon licking his lips and before he could reconsider it, he swiped a finger over the liquid and sucked it into his mouth.

  
“Christ,” he heard Raphael mutter and then Raphael’s mouth was crushing down on his. He let Raphael take control of the kiss but the second he wrapped his hand around Raphael’s dick, Raphael sucked in a breath and looked down to where they were connected. Simon had seen plenty of dicks in his life since the army didn’t’ exactly offer privacy but he’d never touched one besides his own. And he sure as hell hadn’t experienced the rush of power that was now surging through him as Raphael watched his hand with hungry anticipation. As he began stroking Raphael, he wondered if his inexperience would be a turn off but from the shallow pants coming from Raphael, he guessed it wasn’t. And when he dropped to his knees and briefly touched his tongue to the weeping crown, the grunt Raphael let out had the last of Simon’s hesitation dissipating.

  
The salty, musky flavour came as a surprise to Simon as he licked Raphael over and over but it quickly grew on him and when he reached the head of Raphael’s cock on his fourth pass, he experimentally closed his mouth over it. Raphael let out a loud curse which only encouraged Simon to take more of him in. Hands closed around his head but didn’t push him down or try to control him in any way. Raphael’s girth was impressive and Simon’s cheeks began to ache as he added suction. He tried to take more in but his gag reflex kicked in and he couldn’t quite get the hang of relaxing it enough to pull Raphael any deeper. So he settled on what he could do which was suck as hard as he could as his tongue swirled around the flared tip. He remembered how much he’d liked it when a girl had once hummed around his own dick when she’d been giving him a blowjob so he tried the same thing and smiled around Raphael’s cock when he felt the grip on his head tighten. But before he could do it again, Raphael was dragging him up and kissing him and then he was being lowered to the bed.

  
Hands explored his body as Raphael’s lips trailed a path down his neck but when he felt Raphael begin licking over the scars that covered his chest, Simon tried to sit up. But Raphael’s hands closed around his wrists and gently pinned him to the bed as he leaned up and kissed Simon once more.

  
“They don’t bother me,” Raphael said against his lips.

  
“They’re ugly,” Simon said.

  
“Nothing about you is ugly,” Raphael said firmly. “You’re fucking perfect.”

  
“I was weak.”

  
“We all carry scars, Simon. Maybe not on the outside but they’re there. It doesn’t make us weak.”

  
Simon fell silent as Raphael again began moving down his body but he didn’t move his arms when Raphael released him and began kissing the scars once more. Raphael didn’t miss even one and by the time he’d reached Simon’s navel, Simon was beyond caring about the scars. He bit back a moan when Raphael took him into his mouth and began sucking him gently. But it wasn’t enough so he reached down and grabbed Raphael’s head to hold him in place as he surged upwards. Raphael took every thrust that Simon gave him but he pulled off and crawled back up Simon’s body before Simon could protest.

  
“I want you to fuck me,” Raphael said. Excitement slammed into Simon at the thought but the disbelief in his eyes must have shone through because Raphael said, “I want everything you and Jace can give me.”

  
Simon managed a nod. Raphael pulled him to his feet and then he was reaching into his nightstand and pulling out a condom and a bottle of lube. Simon managed to get the condom on but his mouth went dry as he watched Raphael pour some lube on his finger and reach behind himself.

  
“Turn around,” Simon heard himself order. “I want to see.”

  
Raphael sucked in a breath at the demand but he quickly spun around and bent over. His finger was working between his cheeks and Simon stepped forward and used his hands to separate them so he could watch. The sight of Raphael’s entire finger jammed into his hole had Simon’s cock hardening to epic proportions. Raphael’s moves were rough and jerky and as his finger popped free, Simon actually groaned at the sight of Raphael’s entrance flickering as if in invitation. Raphael started to stand, probably to move to the bed, but Simon’s impatience got the best of him and he placed a hand on Raphael’s back to keep him from moving. Raphael hesitated only for a moment before he reached a hand out and gripped the corner of the nightstand to brace himself. As Simon stepped closer, he sensed another set of eyes on him and a thrill went through him at the sight of Jace standing in the bedroom doorway, his eyes glittering with lust. He wore only a pair of jeans but the button had been released and Jace’s hand was jammed deep down his pants.

  
Simon returned his gaze to Raphael’s beautiful ass and guided his cock to the opening. Just like the night before when it had been his finger breaching Jace, the feel of Raphael’s body opening to his invasion was all consuming and it took everything in him not to just shove his dick in as far as it could go. As he watched the head of his dick disappear inside of Raphael, Simon closed his hands around the man’s hips and held him place as he kept up the pressure. Raphael groaned and the tight hole suddenly gave way, allowing Simon to sink all the way in to his base. His thighs brushed the back of Raphael’s as he hung there for a moment before slowly pulling back out. He could already tell that he wouldn’t last long because it just felt too damn good and he hoped like hell he could last long enough to bring Raphael his pleasure. But Jace seemed to sense his dilemma because he stepped into the room and went around to Raphael’s front.

  
Raphael didn’t seem surprised to see him and he opened instantly to the kiss Jace gave on him. The sight was enough of a distraction to have Simon slowing his pace but as Raphael straightened just a little and Jace dropped to his knees, Simon’s grip on Raphael tightened because he knew what was coming. He couldn’t see Jace but felt Raphael’s whole body jerk as Jace took him into his mouth. Any hope Simon had of keeping things slow disappeared and he began gliding in and out of Raphael. Raphael’s moans increased as Simon’s thrusts pushed him forward and Simon shifted his stance just enough so that he could see Jace. And sure enough, Jace’s mouth was open wide as Raphael’s dick shuttled in and out of the perfect O his lips had formed. Jace didn’t even have to move because it was Simon’s powerful lunges that were forcing Raphael’s dick deeper and deeper into Jace’s welcoming mouth.

  
Simon canted his hips slightly when Raphael straightened a little more and he heard Raphael shout as if in pain. Simon forced himself to slow his pace in case he’d inadvertently hurt Raphael but Raphael quickly yelled, “Again!”

  
When he did it again, it elicited the same reaction and suddenly Raphael was desperately meeting every thrust. He cursed every time Simon slammed into him and Simon finally realized he was nailing Raphael’s prostate. It took just three more strokes before Raphael’s orgasm hit him hard and the overwhelming pressure on Simon’s dick sent him over the edge. Stars danced before his eyes as he shot into the condom and he heard Jace moan at almost the same exact time. Simon’s convulsions went on and on and he continued to pump his dick into Raphael long after every last drop of his release was wrung from his body. When he finally had nothing left, he began to pull free of Raphael’s warmth but Raphael reached behind him and grabbed Simon’s thigh. 

_Simon got the silent message and stayed exactly where he was._


	5. Chapter: 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You know how beautiful you two are together?” Raphael asked as his palm began caressing Simon’s chest.
> 
> The warm, rough skin felt good against his and Simon felt a stab of pleasure jolt through him every time Raphael’s fingers brushed his nipples. 
> 
> “I dreamed of this,” Raphael said huskily. “Last night when I was inside of Jace, I imagined him inside of you – the three of us connected.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys...
> 
> Thank you so very much to those reading this - it really means a lot...

“Detective Wayland, thought you were on leave,” Jace heard the desk sergeant say as he strode past the main desk.

“Captain in his office?” Jace asked.

“Uh, yeah, but I think he’s on a call with the mayor-”

Jace ignored whatever else the man had to say and climbed the stairs to the second floor. He bypassed his desk and headed for Morgenstern’s office. He ignored the secretary who told him the Captain was busy and threw open the door. Morgenstern was leaning back in his leather desk chair, his feet on the desk and his arms behind his head. His thin smile faded as Jace entered.

“Uh, Your Honour, I’m going to have to call you back,” Morgenstern said calmly though his eyes flashed with fury. The sight had Jace’s blood firing.

“Everything okay?” came the voice on the phone.

“Everything’s good, Bill,” Jace said as he leaned over Morgenstern’s desk and spoke just above the speakerphone that Morgenstern had been using. “Just a minor emergency,” Jace added.

“Jace, that you?” the mayor asked and Jace smiled coolly as Morgenstern’s eyes widened in surprised.

“Yeah, it’s me. How are you?”

“Good, real good.”

Morgenstern slowly pulled his feet off the desk and straightened in his chair. His eyes never left Jace’s as Jace spoke.

“How’s Monica?” Jace asked.

“Keeping busy,” the mayor chuckled. “Keeps reminding me to invite you to dinner. You haven’t met our newest grandbaby yet, right?”

Jace enjoyed the sight of Morgenstern tensing up.

“No, I haven’t,” Jace said. “Monica showed me pictures a few weeks back though. He’s a good looking kid, Bill.”

“That he is. How about next Saturday for dinner?”

“Sounds good. I’ll let you know for sure in a couple days, okay?”

“Great. I’ll let you get to it then.”

The line disconnected and Jace jammed his finger down on the speakerphone button. It was all he could do not to reach across the desk and grab Morgenstern by his scrawny throat when he snarled, “You go after Raphael one more time and it won’t just be just hiss bosses you’ll have to deal with, do you hear me?”

Morgenstern gaped at him before his skin turned bright red. “Clean out your desk, Detective. You’re done!”

Jace chuckled as he straightened. “Do you really think it’s going to be that easy, Captain?” Jace drawled. “Didn’t you ever stop to ask yourself why none of the Powers that Be have entertained your efforts to get rid of me in the last few years?”

At Morgenstern’s look of surprise, Jace shook his head in amusement. “Maybe we should just ask the Chief what he thinks about all this,” Jace said as he pulled out his phone. “I’ll make sure to also ask him how he feels about you locking up a man without cause,” he added as he found the contact he was looking for. He reached across the desk and hit the speakerphone on Morgenstern’s phone again and dialled a number. A woman answered on the second ring.

“Good afternoon, Chief Norman’s office.”

“Hey Sally Ann, it’s Jace.”

Morgenstern paled and wiped a hand over his mouth nervously.

“Hi Jace, how are you?”

“I’m good, thanks. Hey listen, is Henry available?”

“Let me check. Hold on.”

Music came on over the speaker.

“How do you think the Chief will like hearing how you seduced the mother of a kid you pinched and then planted evidence on? How you blackmailed him for years by threatening to have his mother deported. Assault, false arrest, harassment-”

“What do you want?” Morgenstern snapped.

“As far as you’re concerned, Raphael Santiago doesn’t exist. You even look at him wrong and I will rip you apart. And if I even get a whiff of Immigration sniffing around his mother, you’re done.”

“Jace? How are you?” said a thick voice over the phone.

Morgenstern gave him a quick nod and Jace enjoyed the satisfaction of watching all the blood drain from his face.

“I’m good, Henry. I just wanted to make sure you and Maureen were going to make it to the benefit next month. Melissa’s trying to finalize the seating arrangements and she hadn’t heard from you yet.”

Jace only half-listened as the Chief answered him. As much as he would have liked to watch Morgenstern squirm for a while, what he really wanted to do was get back to his men.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Jace couldn’t help but smile as he glanced in the rear-view mirror at the seat he and Simon had been making out in last night like a couple of kids as Raphael had driven them to his place. He’d been too pissed about Morgenstern to consider the memory when he’d borrowed Raphael’s car this afternoon after he’d declined the invitation to join Raphael and Simon in the shower after their most recent encounter. He’d said he needed to rescue the food he’d been cooking before he had joined in on the fun but his need to confront Valentine Morgenstern had overrode all other thoughts and he’d grabbed Raphael’s keys without considering the consequences. 

  
There was no doubt in his mind that both Raphael and Simon would be pissed at him for not answering the texts and phone calls he’d received in the hour it had taken him to get to the Precinct and bring Morgenstern down a couple of notches, but he was more than willing to take whatever anger they threw at him because his only desire had been to end the torment that Morgenstern had put Raphael through.

  
Last night had somehow been one of the most painful and one of the most incredible of his entire life at the same time. As hard as it had been to confront the truth about himself and the impact his grandfather’s emotional withdrawal had on him, he’d felt lighter than he had in years after they’d left the motel. And while he’d expected the sex to be incredible, he hadn’t been at all prepared for it to change his entire life. But from the moment his eyes had connected with Raphael’s in the rear-view mirror, he’d known that his future would include both men because there was no way he could choose between them.

  
His fear that one night wouldn’t be enough had come true and he’d known it the moment he felt Raphael slip completely inside of him. Between Simon’s soothing touch and Raphael’s strength, Jace had never felt safer or more wanted. His insides had no longer felt hollow and the ache that had plagued him since Dot’s death had eased. Words hadn’t even been possible in that moment so he’d just clung to Simon and marvelled at the feel of their bodies lining up perfectly as Raphael made the rest of the world disappear.

  
Jace pulled the car into the garage and got out. He tried not to linger as he recalled how beautiful Simon had looked when he’d come apart against the passenger door but he couldn’t stop himself from letting his fingers slide over the cool metal as he walked around the car.

  
“Where were you?”

  
Jace looked up to see Raphael standing just inside the doorway that led from the garage to the townhouse. His eyes were dark with fury and Jace felt his stomach sink. He’d hoped to avoid this conversation for a little longer but his gut was telling him that Raphael suspected where he’d gone.

  
“I went to talk to Morgenstern,” Jace said.

  
Raphael slammed his hand against the garage door opener on the wall and turned around and disappeared into the house. By the time Jace had followed him in, Raphael was pacing back and forth in front of the living room couch. “You had no right,” he snapped.

  
Simon appeared in the doorway of the bedroom but he remained silent. The look of disappointment in his eyes tore at Jace but he kept his focus on Raphael.

  
“I knew he’d never stop coming after you,” Jace said quietly.

  
“Jesus, Jace, what the fuck did you do?” Raphael bit out. “I had it under control!”

  
Anger went through Jace. “And that’s all that matters, right? Always the protector but never the protected.”

  
“What the fuck does that mean?” Raphael snapped.

  
“Never mind,” Jace responded. Anxiety went through him as he felt everything he’d had an hour ago slipping away.

  
“No! You don’t get to shut down again,” Raphael yelled. “Say what you mean!”

  
“Raphael,” he heard Simon say.

  
“No, Simon!” Raphael said sharply though his eyes remained on Jace. “I want to hear this.”

  
“She never stood up for you, did she?” Jace whispered.

  
Raphael stilled at the words as his arms dropped to his sides.

  
“Every time he came after you, harassed you, hurt you…she sided with him, right?” Jace held Raphael’s gaze as he moved towards him. “Even when he did this,” Jace said as he stroked his fingers over the scar on Raphael’s cheek. He felt Raphael tremble beneath his touch but he wasn’t sure if it was because of anger or something else. Jace caressed the slightly raised flesh for a moment before running his hand down Raphael’s face and settling it around the back of his neck. “You can hate me. You can curse the fact that you ever met me. You can tell me to fuck off. But I will always” – he tightened his hold on Raphael’s neck - “always protect you when I have the chance.”

  
Disappointment went through Jace as Raphael pulled free of him. He seemed agitated as his eyes shifted back and forth between him and Simon and he finally strode to the kitchen counter and snatched up the car keys Jace had deposited there.

  
“I need to get to the hospital to check on Bat. I’ll take you and Simon to the motel so you can get your car.”

  
Jace felt Simon move past him to follow Raphael to the garage. None of them spoke on the way to the motel and Raphael didn’t say anything as Jace and Simon climbed out of the car. He just drove off like they weren’t even there.

  
“I’m sorry,” Jace said softly to Simon before turning to unlock his car. He was surprised when Simon’s hand closed over his arm and turned him around and even more surprised when Simon kissed him. The fact that they were in a very public parking lot didn’t seem to bother Simon as he reached up to clasp Jace’s face as his tongue slipped into Jace’s mouth.

  
“I would have done the same thing,” Simon whispered briefly against his lips before giving him another kiss. “Next time though, leave a fucking note saying you’re coming back.”

  
Simon’s words startled Jace and guilt went through him as he realized what it must have looked like for him to have taken off without a word.

  
“God, Simon. I’m sorry. I didn’t think-”

  
Simon cut him off with another kiss and kept doing it until Jace got the message that Simon didn’t need any more apologies. He smiled against Simon’s lips after the fourth or fifth interrupting kiss.

  
“I’ll drive,” Simon said as he took the keys from Jace. “You drive like a little old man.”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

  
“What the hell are you watching?” Simon heard Jace ask as he came into the living room.

  
“I think it’s some kind of cooking competition,” Simon answered.

  
He glanced over his shoulder to see Jace drying off his hands with a dish towel and then he was tossing it on the kitchen table. “Maybe it will teach you something,” Jace quipped as he came to stand next to the couch Simon was sprawled out on.

  
“Shut up. That was some damn fine lasagne.”

  
“Sure,” Jace said. “You do know you’re supposed to boil the noodles first, right?”

  
Simon chuckled as he reached out and gave Jace a light punch in his gut. Jace caught his hand and held it against his stomach. Even with the light banter, Jace’s expression still held the same haunted look it had had since they’d left Raphael’s townhouse. They hadn’t spoken much in the car or during dinner because they were both acutely aware that something was missing, but as the hours passed and there was no word from Raphael, Simon’s hopes had begun to fade that the two men would be able to move past what had happened that afternoon. Raphael’s temper typically ran hot, so it had been unnerving to see him so quiet after Jace’s declaration.

  
“Come sit with me,” Simon murmured as he drew Jace down to the couch and made room for him by folding up his legs. Jace sat but then he was pulling Simon up until he was kneeling next to Jace. But the contact didn’t seem to be enough for Jace because he dragged Simon closer until he had no choice but to straddle Jace’s lap. Simon lowered his weight down as Jace rubbed his palms up and down Simon’s thighs. It was Simon’s first real chance to explore Jace so he did what he’d been wanting to do for so long and ran his fingers through Jace’s hair. It was as soft as he’d thought it would be and he found that the length was perfect because there was just enough hair to grip to hold Jace still for a searing kiss. Jace’s hands moved from his thighs to his ass but instead of fearing the contact like he had the night he’d kissed Raphael, Simon welcomed it.

  
“What’s it like?” he asked as he pulled back from Jace’s kiss.

  
“What?” Jace asked.

  
“To have another man inside of you.”

  
“You mean does it hurt?” Jace said.

  
Simon nodded

  
“I think it depends on the guy you’re with. You have to trust him to take care of you.”

  
“Is that why you were with Sebastian?’ Simon asked. He felt Jace tense beneath him.

  
“I was with Sebastian because I knew it would only be about physical pleasure. I didn’t have feelings for him and he didn’t have them for me. He helped me forget…”

  
“Forget what?” Simon asked as he ran his fingers over Jace’s cheeks. He hadn’t meant for the conversation to get this heavy but there was so much emotion built up in Jace’s gaze that he had to know the cause.

  
“Don’t you know, Simon?” Jace whispered.

  
Simon froze and he felt his chest seize up. His mouth suddenly felt dry and he had trouble swallowing as he shook his head.

  
“You. I was trying to forget you.”

  
_Oh God. Was Jace saying what he thought he was?_

  
Simon’s fingers trembled as he tried to process Jace’s words.

  
“When?” he asked.

  
“When did I know I loved you?” Jace asked softly.

  
_Jesus._

Simon could only nod.

  
“The wedding.”

  
The wedding? “But that was the first time we met.”

  
“Right,” Jace said.

  
Simon couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Jace had been in love with him for years? How was that even possible? How could he have not known? Not even suspected? Did he love Jace back? Was that what the endless ache in his chest was? Was that the reason he’d felt so broken this morning when he and Raphael had discovered that Jace had disappeared on them again? And what about Raphael?

  
“Simon” Jace said gently. He felt Jace’s hand cup his chin and he realized he’d been silent for too long because he saw the fleeting disappointment in Jace’s eyes. “I didn’t tell you just so you’d say the words back.”

  
“Why did you tell me?” Simon asked.

  
“Because I’m done lying to myself about it or hoping it will go away. But you need to know that what I feel for you, I feel for Raphael too. I didn’t expect it but I can’t change it. I won’t.”

  
“Jace,” Simon began to say but Jace silenced him with a kiss.

  
Jace loved him. His brain kept repeating the phrase over and over as Jace worshiped his mouth. But a chill went through him as he realized that Jace didn’t know the truth yet. About him. About what he’d done.

  
“Tell me again,” Simon whispered. He knew it was cruel to ask Jace to say something he couldn’t say back but he needed the words anyway. Maybe if he heard them enough, he’d find the strength he needed to admit what he’d done in the darkness of his prison.

  
“I love you, Simon” Jace breathed against his lips. He said it again before Simon silenced him with a kiss but as he reached for Jace’s shirt, Jace froze and grabbed his hands. It was then that Simon heard what sounded like a door slamming shut. Jace pushed him to his feet and quickly rose. “Stay here,” he said before Simon could argue.

  
Jace didn’t even manage to reach the door before it flew open. Raphael’s haggard gaze connected with Simon as he strode towards Jace. The apology was there clear as day but Simon knew that he wasn’t the one that needed it.

  
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

  
Jace hadn’t even heard the sound of the car coming up the road because he’d been too caught up in the fact that he’d admitted not only his love for Simon but for Raphael as well. Neither admission had been on his agenda tonight but it had felt so right to finally tell Simon the truth. Even as hard as it had been to know he wouldn’t hear the words back, he’d still felt lighter then he’d felt in a long time and he had no regrets. Nor did he have any desire to take back the admission that he was in love with Raphael too. The latter hadn’t even hit him until he’d watched Raphael’s car drive away from the motel. The loss he’d felt had been a hundred times worse than the pain his grandfather had inflicted upon him with his heartless defection but he didn’t regret what he’d said to Raphael either about always protecting him.

Hope went through Jace as Raphael closed the distance between them and he didn’t hesitate for even a second when Raphael’s lips covered his.

  
“I’m sorry,” Raphael whispered raggedly and then his mouth was back on Jace’s. Raphael released him long enough to give Simon a scorching kiss and then Jace lost track of everything else besides the two men whose hands freed him of his clothes and whose mouths set his skin on fire with kiss after blazing kiss. He wasn’t even aware they’d made it to the bed in his room until the mattress hit his back and Raphael’s mouth was wrapped around his cock. He cried out at the sensation but Simon was there to swallow the sound.

  
“Will you show me, Jace?” Simon asked against his lips. “Will you show me how you feel?”

  
Jace didn’t understand what Simon was asking until he felt a condom being rolled down his cock. “Do you trust me, Simon?” Jace asked.

  
“Yes. Always yes.”

  
It was all Jace needed to hear and he quickly rolled Simon onto his back. He immediately searched Raphael out for a kiss.

  
“Missed you,” he murmured against Raphael’s mouth. “Get our boy ready for us.”

  
Raphael’s nostrils flared as he licked over Jace’s mouth once more and then he pulled Simon to the edge of the bed. Simon’s eyes widened with confusion as Raphael lifted and separated Simon’s legs just before he dropped to his knees on the floor. Raphael gave Simon little time to contemplate what was about to happen but the second his tongue licked over Simon’s hole, Simon shouted his name and then his hand reached for Jace’s.

  
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

  
Simon’s moans were slowly driving Raphael insane with need as he licked and bit at the pulsing hole beneath his mouth. But when Simon suddenly bucked beneath him and let off a string of curses, Raphael smiled and confirmed what he’d already suspected – Jace was leaning over Simon and had sucked his leaking cock deep into his mouth. Their eyes actually connected as they worked Simon in tandem but it was over too soon because Jace pulled off of Simon after just a few merciless drags. He guessed Jace could tell that Simon was already on the edge and they definitely needed him to stay there until Jace could get inside him. With that in mind, Raphael eased his mouth from Simon’s opening and reached for the lube he’d dropped on the bed. Simon’s body tensed up the second he felt Raphael’s finger press against him but when he looked up, he saw that Jace had laid down next to Simon and was murmuring something to him. Whatever he said seemed to work because he felt Simon’s body relax somewhat and when Raphael gently pressed against him, Simon bore down.

  
Raphael’s own body felt like it was burning up as he watched his finger disappear into Simon’s body and he couldn’t believe his pride had nearly caused him to miss this moment. The betrayal he’d felt when he had figured out that Jace had likely gone to confront Morgenstern had been brutal and his anger had only grown as time went by. Simon had tried talking him down on more than one occasion but Raphael had done exactly what he’d accused Jace of doing – he withdrew and shut Simon out. But when Jace had voiced what Raphael had been trying to deny for so long – that his mother had never protected him – Raphael had felt blindsided.

  
The fact that his mother had chosen her twisted version of love for Morgenstern over her devotion to her own son had been a truth he’d been hiding from for a long time and to hear someone else say it brought all that pain back to the surface. But Jace’s next words had scared the hell out of him because they’d been the last thing he expected. Raphael was always the protector because he was bigger and stronger than the people around him. They needed that from him. It was the only role he knew how to play. But he’d believed Jace when he’d said he’d always protect him and the hated vulnerability he’d felt had him needing to escape. It had taken him hours to come to his senses and he’d spent the whole drive to the cabin overcome by the fear that he wouldn’t be forgiven this time around. That he’d fucked up the best thing in his life before it had really even gotten started.

  
Raphael felt his cock stir in anticipation as Simon’s body began to accept the smooth gliding motion of his finger and he carefully added another.

  
“Fuck,” Simon muttered and Raphael stilled his movements until he heard Simon’s breathing even out from the ragged pants that had overtaken him. Raphael lifted enough so that he could run his tongue over Simon’s cock which had started to soften and he was rewarded with a loud groan. He kept up his attention on Simon’s dick as he slowly eased the second finger in and as Simon’s length thickened under his ministrations, his hips began pushing down onto Raphael’s fingers. Raphael slowly eased them from Simon’s body and then rose to his feet and leaned over Simon and kissed him hard. Jace’s mouth joined his and they took turns kissing and stroking Simon’s body all over with their hands until he was writhing beneath them, begging for relief. While Raphael pulled Simon farther up the bed, Jace moved into position.

  
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Simon couldn’t help but tense up again as he felt Jace’s cock start to push into his body. He knew it would make the discomfort worse if he couldn’t manage to relax but no amount of telling himself that changed his body’s response. But he reminded himself that the pain he’d felt at Raphael’s fingers piercing him had eased and had started to turn into something else that hadn’t felt all that bad. Except that even as thick as Raphael’s fingers were, they didn’t match the size of the dick that was impaling him.

  
“Simon, do you want Jace to stop?” Raphael whispered against his ear.

  
Simon shook his head violently. There was no way he was giving up on this – no fucking way.

  
“You know how beautiful you two are together?” Raphael asked as his palm began caressing Simon’s chest. The warm, rough skin felt good against his and Simon felt a stab of pleasure jolt through him every time Raphael’s fingers brushed his nipples. “I dreamed of this,” Raphael said huskily. “Last night when I was inside of Jace, I imagined him inside of you – the three of us connected.”

  
Simon moaned at the image and he felt Jace sink farther inside of him. Raphael’s hand slid over his hip but skirted around his dick which lay painfully hard against his groin.

  
“And when you fucked me this morning I began to wonder if I could take both of you at once. Your cock rubbing against his so deep inside of me that I wouldn’t be able to breathe without both of you feeling it.”

  
The next moan Raphael heard was Jace’s and he shot him a quick glance. Dark, glittering orbs met his as Simon’s body finally relaxed enough to allow Jace to slide all the way in. He hung there as he slashed his mouth over Raphael’s for a moment before dropping it to Simon’s to steal a kiss. Raphael wasn’t surprised when Jace settled his weight onto Simon completely and kept kissing him as his hips began to move.

  
Raphael was content to watch the two men make love but then Jace’s eyes sought his out. “Do it,” Jace whispered. “Take me.”

  
“Jace,” Raphael started to say, but Jace cut him off.

  
“Please, Raphael. I need it to be the three of us…just like you said.”

  
As much as this moment was supposed to be about Simon, Raphael could see the truth in Jace’s eyes. For whatever reason he needed more. In truth, Raphael needed more too. So it took him just moments to get a condom on and prepare Jace’s body. And then they were exactly what Raphael had been telling Simon they’d be – connected.

  
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

  
Jace shuddered as Raphael’s hips began to increase their pace and every thrust had him sliding deeper into Simon. They’d both given up on kissing since they were panting too hard to actually keep their mouths together, but Simon’s eyes had never left his and his hands had wrapped around Jace’s back the moment Jace had leaned over him. The only thing that could have made the moment any better would have been to be able to see Raphael’s eyes but he’d have to settle for Raphael’s breath against his neck and his endless words of how good they both felt beneath him.

  
“It’s so good, Jace,” Simon whispered.

  
Jace wished like hell he could tell Simon how much he loved him but he knew that in the throes of passion, Simon would likely say it back and as much as he wanted to hear the words, he wanted them to be said when Simon truly meant them.

  
It took some effort but Jace managed to get a hand between their bodies and he began jerking Simon off as Raphael ruthlessly slammed into him. He couldn’t stop the scream that erupted from his lips when Raphael suddenly changed the angle of his entry and hit his prostate. He yelled Raphael’s name over and over as Raphael pounded into him and he could hear Simon grunting in unison to his shouts. When he finally came, he managed to open the eyes that had squeezed shut and watched in awe as Simon’s release hit him. He heard both his and Simon’s names fall from Raphael’s lips as he came and the heat of Raphael’s come burned his insides even through the latex barrier that separated them. Raphael’s lips sought his out as his dick continued to pulse inside of Jace and each convulsion had Simon’s body jolting beneath his. The words again threatened to burst free from his throat but at the last second he managed to keep them inside and settled for whispering Simon and Raphael’s names one last time before he drifted off.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

  
Raphael closed his eyes as he listened to the sounds of the woods waking up around him. The air was cool on his skin and the breeze was strong enough to have the old trees surrounding the cabin creaking.

  
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” he heard Jace say and then he was dropping down next to Raphael on the top stair of the porch steps.

  
“I can see why you liked coming here as a kid,” Raphael murmured. He took the cup of coffee Jace handed him and then leaned over and brushed his lips across Jace’s. “He still asleep?”

  
Jace nodded. “I think you wore him out last night,” Jace said with a chuckle. “He’ll be lucky if he can even walk today.”

  
Raphael smiled. In the week that they’d been at the cabin, none of them had spent much time outside the bedroom other than to eat or go for a swim. Even the swims usually ended up with someone on their knees in the sand. Raphael had ended up taking Simon the same night Jace had even though it hadn’t been his intent since he’d known that Simon was likely sore. But he’d been woken up in the middle of the night with whisper soft kisses on his chest and silky tongues licking up and down his dick. He doubted he’d ever see anything as erotic as his two men’s tongues duelling with each other with his dick between them. And then Simon had climbed on top of him and made love to his mouth. Within minutes, Jace was guiding Simon down onto Raphael’s cock and he’d lost the ability to speak as Simon rode him.

  
Since that night it had been a free for all and it didn’t matter where they were or if they were even all together. They gave and took whatever the other needed in that moment. And last night Raphael had needed to take Simon to the edge over and over. He and Jace had edged Simon until his pleas were no longer comprehensible and only then had they given him relief. He’d passed out before the last of his orgasm had even left his body.

  
“Ragnor called this morning. Bat’s awake,” Raphael said.

  
“Thank God,” Jace murmured.

  
“He’ll probably be in the hospital for a few more days so they can make sure there’s no permanent damage to his brain. His leg’s broken in a couple of places and he cracked some ribs but they think he’ll be okay.”

  
“We need to tell Simon about Jordan,” Jace said.

  
“I know,” Raphael said softly. “He’s still having nightmares and this morning I found him sitting on the floor in his room. He was rocking back and forth and saying he was sorry.”

  
Raphael saw Jace run his hand over the back of his neck. “Brandon again?”

  
Raphael nodded. It was a name they’d both often heard Simon say during his sleep but the way in which he’d said it made it clear that whatever had happened to Brandon hadn’t been good.

  
“I wonder who he is,” Jace said.

  
“He was my friend.”

  
Raphael and Jace both turned to see Simon standing in the cabin doorway.

  
“And I killed him.”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Jace shifted on the step and Raphael did the same as Jace reached his hand up. Simon took it and Jace gently pulled him down to sit between them. He watched as Raphael drew Simon up against his chest. Jace kept their hands intertwined and draped his arm over Simon’s leg. Neither of them pressed Simon to speak and at least five minutes passed before he finally did.

  
“We met in basic training. He was the same age as me and grew up in small town in Indiana. We hit it off right away – probably because we had so much in common. Cars, football. I didn’t even realize things had changed for me until a few years ago. I found myself thinking things about him that didn’t make sense to me. We were as close as two best friends could be but it didn’t seem like enough.”

  
“You were attracted to him,” Raphael offered.

  
Simon nodded. “It took me a while to realize it and I tried to deny it because I’d never once been interested in other men. I passed it off as the stress of being in combat. But when he came back from leave and told me he’d gotten engaged to his girlfriend, I was heartbroken. I felt like I’d lost him even though he was right there. Nothing had changed – he was still my best friend.”

  
“What happened?” Jace asked gently.

  
“I ignored what I felt. I knew he loved his girlfriend – they’d been together since high school – and he’d never once shown any interest in me beyond our friendship. So when I met Heidi I threw myself into the relationship. I convinced myself that I loved her. The day of the ambush I lost track of Brandon so I thought he’d died in the attack. It wasn’t until a week after they put me in that hole that I found out otherwise.”

  
Tears began to flow down Simon’s cheeks and Jace saw Raphael tighten the arm he had wrapped around Simon.

  
“They…they threw him down the hole one day. I didn’t know it was him at first because it was too dark but then he said my name. He couldn’t move so I pulled him onto my lap. He kept telling me it hurt over and over again. He was covered in blood – they’d stabbed him at least a dozen times. I thought if I could stop the bleeding he’d be okay but he was in so much pain. And, he said he couldn’t feel his legs…”

  
Jace swallowed hard and lifted his eyes to meet Raphael’s. He knew the pain he saw there mirrored his own.

  
“I realized the fall must have broken his back. I guess he did too because he…he began begging me…”

  
Simon seemed unable to continue and he turned his face into Raphael’s chest and howled in agony. Jace released Simon’s hand long enough to shift his position so that he could wrap around Simon’s back.

  
“Shhh, it’s okay,” he murmured against Simon’s ear.

  
“I didn’t know what else to do. I held him for hours but he kept begging me to take away his pain. He asked me to tell his parents he hadn’t been afraid and to tell his fiancé how much he loved her and that he’d always be with her. And then he told me he loved me and I did it…I broke his neck.”

  
“He wouldn’t have made it out of there, Simon. He knew that. You did what he needed you to do,” Raphael whispered as he dropped his chin to Simon’s head.

  
“They left him in there with me for three days. When they finally came to take him away I begged them not to. It was the only time I ever asked them for anything.”

  
“It’s going to be okay,” Jace whispered. He felt Simon shake his head.

  
“I never even gave his parents or his fiancé his messages.”

“You will,” Raphael responded. “Someday when you’re ready, you will.”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Simon let his eyes drift shut as he felt Raphael’s thick cock slip all the way inside of him. The tile felt cool against his cheek but he didn’t feel any of the water from the shower on his back because Raphael’s body was covering his from shoulders to ass. But he didn’t need the water to provide the warmth he craved because Raphael’s skin sliding over his as he thrust in and out of Simon’s body gave him all the heat he needed. He doubted this had been Raphael’s plan when he had coaxed Simon into the shower and started gently washing him but it hadn’t taken much urging on Simon’s part for Raphael to concede. In fact, it hadn’t taken anything beyond saying Raphael’s name a certain way.

  
It had been like that for the past two weeks since his impromptu confession about Brandon. He didn’t remember much about the first few days other than having Jace and Raphael holding him between their bodies as he’d alternated between fits of crushing sorrow and bitter silence. When the pain became too much, he would beg them to take it away for a little while and they did. And when his body was sated from their lovemaking, he slept. When the sound of Brandon’s neck snapping had him jolting upright in bed, they soothed him with soft words.

  
“Don’t stop,” Simon said when he felt Raphael’s still hard dick slip from his body.

  
“I don’t have a condom,” Raphael whispered against his ear. When he felt Raphael’s hand close around his dick, Simon reached down and forced Raphael to release him. He quickly turned around in Raphael’s arms and wrapped his hand around Raphael and began stroking mercilessly.

  
“Please Raphael, I need you inside of me. All of you.”

  
Raphael’s eyes pinned his and Simon saw the indecision there.

  
“I trust you to take care of me,” Simon whispered.

  
The words had the desired effect because Raphael reached beneath Simon’s thighs and lifted him. For once Simon was grateful that he hadn’t regained all his weight back because the feel of Raphael pinning him to the wall while he angled his cock into position excited Simon like nothing else. And then Raphael was surging into him. With every upward thrust, Simon’s body slid up the slick tile and as soon as gravity brought him back down, Raphael rammed into him again. But Raphael quickly seemed to grow impatient with the pace and wrapped his arm around Simon’s waist to hold him in place as he pistoned into him. The burning friction and sheer pressure of being stuffed full had Simon closing his eyes.

  
“Look at me,” Raphael ordered.

  
Simon managed to open his eyes and he instantly got lost in the emotion in Raphael’s gaze.

  
“Tell me who you belong to.”

  
“You and Jace.”

  
“Always,” Raphael said.

  
“Always,” Simon repeated.

  
Raphael kissed him hard and then shifted just enough to hit Simon’s gland. Electricity surged through his entire body as his climax rolled over him in waves and every spurt of Raphael’s seed coating his inner walls had him shouting with pleasure. The aftershocks were still curling through him when he found himself being carried out of the shower and placed on the shaggy bathroom mat in front of the huge tub. He started to protest as Raphael released him but then Jace was there and sliding into him. He had no idea where Jace had come from or if he’d been watching but he didn’t care either way. All he cared about was Jace gliding into him over and over as Raphael kissed him. It could have been minutes or hours later for all he knew but another, smaller orgasm overtook him as Jace shoved into him one last time and hung there. More liquid heat bathed his insides and he moaned as he realized that he now carried a little bit of each of his men inside of him.

  
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

  
Simon’s body ached as he pulled his shirt on. His ass was still pleasantly sore from what had happened in the bathroom just a few hours earlier but it was his heart that had taken the brunt of the encounter because he’d finally begun to understand that as much as he’d cared for Brandon, the feelings he had for Raphael and Jace went a thousand times deeper. Not once had either man condemned or judged him for what he’d done to Brandon. And though he couldn’t agree with their opinions that he’d done the right thing, he’d accepted that they weren’t going to walk away from him because of it.

  
He found both men in the kitchen. Jace was cooking something – for dinner probably – and Raphael was setting the table.

  
Jace noticed him first and quickly tuned off the stove and came up to him. “Simon, Raphael and I are both clean. We each went and got tested at a clinic in town when we went to get supplies. We should have told you before we-”

  
Simon cut him off with a kiss. Jace kissed him back of course and he didn’t hesitate to follow Simon when Simon grabbed his hand and led him to where Raphael was watching them by the table. He stopped in front of Raphael but turned to face Jace.

  
“Jace, I love you so much,’ Simon whispered. “Thank you for not giving up on me. I have a future because of you.” He brushed a brief kiss over Jace’s lips but Jace seemed too shocked to kiss him back. When he turned to Raphael he was surprised to see how anxious he looked – like he was expecting bad news.

  
“Raphael, I want you to belong to me the way I belong to you. The way we both belong to Jace and he to us. I have no idea how this thing between the three of us will work or what people will say but I don’t care. I love you.”

  
Relief flooded Raphael’s features and Simon realized he had indeed been expecting Simon to say something different. Raphael kissed him hard before dragging Jace forward and kissing him too. When they separated, Simon stepped free of both of them and made sure their eyes were on his when he said, “I’m ready to get help. I want to go home.”

  
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Jace impatiently tapped on the edge of the keyboard in front of him as he glanced at his cell phone. He cursed himself and pushed the button but nothing but the time appeared on the screen. He’d been doing the same thing for the past thirty minutes. He turned his attention back to his computer but couldn’t focus on what he was looking at so he finally reached for the phone again. Before he could even dial, the phone lit up, but it was Magnus’ name that appeared. The rush of guilt that he always felt when he saw or heard any reference to Magnus or Ragnor went through him but he knew he couldn’t keep avoiding the men forever. He and Raphael had decided to hold off on telling Simon the truth about Jordan’s reappearance after Simon’s admission about Brandon. The two weeks they’d watch Simon spiral into a haunting depression had scared both of them to death and they’d been on the verge of reaching out to Simon’s brothers when Simon finally seemed to snap out of it. And then he’d said those words…those amazing, fucking perfect words.

  
“Hey Magnus,” Jace said into the phone.

  
“Hey, how are you?”

  
“Good. How are Bat and Jordan?”

  
“Doing good. Bat’s happy to finally have the cast off and he’ll be back at work next week. Jordan’s been volunteering at the foundation and has even consulted on a few jobs for me and Ragnor.”

  
Jace felt another jolt of guilt go through him at how good Magnus sounded. The man was finally getting back on track after the devastating truth about Jordan’s childhood and Jace was going to end up shattering it again when Magnus found out about his betrayal.

  
“That’s great. Glad to hear it.”

  
“So I never heard back from you about the party this weekend.”

  
Shit, he’d completely forgotten about the invite to the party Alec and Magnus were throwing for a couple of their friends to welcome their new baby girl into the world.

  
“Right, sorry. I’ve actually got some things I need to do this weekend.”

  
Magnus’ silence was heavy on the other end of the phone.

  
“Jace, I’m worried about you.”

  
“What?” Jace asked. “Why?”

  
“Wayland!”

  
Jace snapped his eyes up at the sound of his name being shouted from across the room and saw Morgenstern striding towards him, file folder in hand. The man hadn’t spoken to him in the week since he’d returned to the office but he’d gotten his fair share of murderous looks in every time he stalked past Jace’s desk.

  
“Magnus, I gotta go. Give everyone my best, okay?”

  
“Okay.”

  
Morgenstern dumped the file on Jace’s desk. “Some kids found a body down by the docks. Go check it out.”

  
“Sure thing, Captain,” Jace said, making sure to let the disrespect drip from his voice. Morgenstern’s ruddy face tightened but he kept his mouth shut as he stomped back to his office and slammed the door.

  
Jace grabbed the folder and his jacket and made his way to his car. He hit the speed dial on his phone and waited anxiously for Raphael to pick up.

  
“How is he?” he asked before Raphael could even say hello.

  
“Still in with the doctor,” Raphael said.

  
“Fuck, is that good or bad?”

  
“How the hell do I know?” Raphael muttered. After a moment he said, “Sorry.”

  
The apology wasn’t necessary since Raphael was undoubtedly as anxious as Jace was. It had been Andrew who’d helped them find a therapist for Simon since he’d interacted with several as part of his volunteer work at the VA.

  
“I’ve got a case I need to work tonight so I’ll be home late. Will you ask him to call me later?”

  
“Yeah. Stay safe.”

  
“I will. See you soon.”

  
Jace hung up the phone and couldn’t help but smile when he realized he’d said “home.” How long had it been since he could say that he’d actually looked forward to going home? Easy. Never.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Raphael pushed the plastic container across the bar to Andrew.

  
“What is it?” Andrew asked curiously as he eagerly pulled the top off.

  
“Païdakia.”

  
“Yes,” Andrew muttered. “Your mom makes the best lamb chops,” he added as he began searching behind the bar for something.

  
“I made them,” Raphael said.

  
Andrew stilled and then carefully put the lid back on the container and slid it back to him. “Uh, no thanks.”

  
“Fuck you,” Raphael laughed. “Try it.”

  
Andrew frowned but then pulled out the fork he’d been searching for and reached for the container.

  
“Holy shit, this is amazing,” Andrew said as he stabbed his fork into another piece of the meat. “Since when do you cook?” Andrew asked.

  
Raphael couldn’t hide the smile that spread across his face. He wanted to say since he had two men living with him whose strength he needed to keep up since none of them could stop fucking each other’s brains out night after night, but he figured that was TMI even for his best friend so he kept his mouth shut.

  
But Andrew let out a loud laugh in between bites. “Don’t tell me you’re playing house?” he finally managed to get out. “Raphael ‘fuck-‘em-and-leave-‘em’ Santiago?”

  
“Bite me, asshole,” Raphael responded.

  
“Would there even be enough room for me?” Andrew quipped.

  
“Things keeping you pretty busy around here?” Raphael asked even though the nearly empty bar answered that question for him. He really hoped like hell that Jocelyn had another source of income.

  
“Nope, no subject change. A soldier and a cop – how the hell did someone who hates taking orders as much as you do end up with guys like that?”

  
Raphael felt heat flood his face as he remembered the orders he’d taken last night. He’d done every single thing Simon and Jace had demanded of him and he’d been handsomely rewarded.

  
“Jocelyn, get out here. You gotta see this!” Andrew suddenly yelled.

  
Raphael bit off a curse and took a slap at Andrew who managed to step back in time.

  
“What is it?” she responded as she appeared from the back room.

  
“Raphael’s blushing.”

  
“No shit,” Jocelyn said in awe as she walked behind the bar.

  
“Fucker,” Raphael growled.

  
Andrew laughed heartily until Jocelyn saw what he was eating. “What the hell is this?” she asked. Andrew swallowed hard.

  
“Lamb,” Raphael answered for him.

  
“So you’ll try this nasty shit but not my Haggis?”

  
“Joce-” Andrew began to say.

  
“He loves it Joce. My mom’s been making it for him almost every week since he moved here.”

  
“Asshole,” Andrew muttered under his breath.

  
Jocelyn gave him a dirty look and turned her back on him before storming towards the back.

  
“Fuck, that one’s gonna cost me,” Andrew said as he shoved another piece of meat into his mouth. “So how are things going besides you finding your inner chef?”

  
“Better than I thought possible.”

  
“They’re both still staying with you?” Andrew asked.

  
Raphael nodded. It was funny because the topic of the three of them staying together once they’d returned to the city hadn’t even come up. His townhouse had been the easy choice because of the extra space and Jace had gone to his apartment only long enough to get more clothes.

  
“How’s Simon?”

“He’s making progress. He seems to like Dr. Lincoln.”

  
At first Raphael had been worried after Simon’s first meeting with the therapist because he’d been surprisingly quiet about the whole thing after the session ended. But he’d gone back two days later and hadn’t balked when the doctor had suggested group therapy as well.

  
“Glad to hear it.”

  
Raphael fell silent for a moment before asking, “Aldertree been bothering you at all?”

  
Andrew shrugged but didn’t answer him.

  
“Tell me,” Raphael said.

  
Andrew sighed and put down the fork. “He calls. Leaves messages.”

  
Raphael felt himself tensing up. “What kind of messages?”

  
“Raphael, stop, please. Go home. Be with your men.”

  
“Damn it, Andrew, tell me about the messages!”

  
“No,” Andrew said firmly. “Go home.”

  
Frustration went through Raphael. “Why won’t you tell me?”

  
Andrew sighed and reached his hand out to cover Raphael’s. “Because I need to deal with this myself. I love that you want to protect me but I need to know that I can take care of myself – that I can still be the man I was before this happened,” Andrew said as he tapped the side of his head.

  
“Let me at least talk to Jace about getting a restraining order.”

  
Andrew smiled and shook his head slightly. “I already got one. Now go home. I’ve got customers.”

  
Raphael looked down the bar and saw that the only other patron was passed out with his forehead pressed against the top of the bar.

  
“Right,” Raphael said with a chuckle. As much as he hated not being able to take care of the shit with Aldertree, he understood what Andrew was asking of him. He climbed off the barstool but turned to glance at Andrew. “Promise me you’ll call me if you need me.”

  
“Promise,” Andrew said. “And thanks,” he added as he held up the half empty container.

  
Raphael nodded and headed towards the door.


	6. Chapter: 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys...
> 
> Wow, I cant believe, only one more chapter to go after this one.  
> Thanks, you guys, for reading this little story - I really appreciate it...

Simon left the building and walked towards his car. It felt strange to be alone for the first time in the nearly three months that had passed since Raphael had broken down that cabin door and he and Jace had changed the course of Simon’s life forever. He’d half expected Raphael or Jace to follow him this morning when he’d gotten in his car to head to his therapy session but if they had, Simon hadn’t seen them. Not that he could blame them considering the gamut his emotions had run since their return to the city.

  
While his nightmares had lessened and he didn’t jump at every strange sound, he still struggled with the fear that he would have an episode where he ended up hurting someone. It was the one thing still holding him back from reaching out to his brothers. In the end, it had been his therapist who had convinced him that he was ready to do something as simple as driving himself back and forth to his sessions. Raphael and Jace had both been supportive but hadn’t rushed him either. They’d continued to manipulate their work schedules so that Simon was never alone at home but Simon knew that was something he needed to put an end to as well.

  
The drive to Raphael’s townhouse took less than ten minutes and he quickly pulled his car into the garage and hurried into the house. He knew it was silly to be excited over something as simple as having made it through a few hours on his own but it was so much more than that to him. It was the first step to getting his life back – to getting his family back. But more importantly, it meant maybe he’d finally start to feel like an equal member in his relationship with Raphael and Jace. He’d no longer be the weak link that needed protecting and coddling…he’d be able to give as much to his men as he took.

  
As Simon entered the kitchen, he saw Raphael sitting at the kitchen table. He could tell by the fact that Jace’s car hadn’t been parked on the street that only Raphael was home but he was surprised when Raphael didn’t seem to notice his entry. In fact, Raphael was completely still as he stared at what looked like some folded up papers on the table.

  
“Raphael?” Simon said as he reached his side.

  
His voice seemed to snap Raphael out of his reverie and he looked up at Simon and smiled. “Hey, how did it go?”

  
“Good,” Simon said absently. “Are you okay?” He wasn’t surprised when Raphael pulled him down to sit astride him and kissed him.

  
“Tell me what’s wrong,” Simon said as he ended the kiss. He tensed when he felt Raphael’s arms go around him and he dropped his head to Simon’s chest but didn’t speak. Simon held him there for a moment as he stroked his hand over Raphael’s head.

  
“I love you,” he heard Raphael whisper. “More than I ever thought possible.”

  
Simon sucked in a breath at the words. In his gut he’d known that Raphael loved him but to finally hear the words…

  
“I love you too,” Simon said as he lifted Raphael’s head and kissed him. But something was still off with Raphael and it was scaring the hell out of him. “Did something happen?”

  
Raphael reached past him for the papers on the table and then handed them to him. “What is it?” Simon asked.

  
“I don’t know. I can’t read it.” The shame in Raphael’s voice was crushing. “A guy delivered it an hour ago.”

  
“Do you want me to see what it is?” Simon asked carefully. Raphael’s dyslexia wasn’t something they’d ever talked about but he knew it had to be a painful topic for Raphael.

  
Raphael nodded.

  
Simon opened the document and scanned it and then felt his heart sink. “You’re being sued,” he said. “Some guy named Victor Aldertree is suing you for battery. Jesus, he wants four million dollars in damages.”

  
Raphael took the document from him and tossed it back on the table. He seemed unconcerned by the news.

  
“Who is he?” Simon asked.

  
“Andrew’s ex. He went after Andrew a few months ago outside my place. I stopped it. Fucker’s got no case. The cops took pictures of Andrew’s injuries and there were witnesses that saw Aldertree assault Andrew.”

  
“You’re not worried about this?” Simon asked.

  
Raphael shook his head. “Does it bother you?”

  
“That someone’s coming after you like this? Hell yeah, it bothers me,” Simon said angrily.

  
“Does it bother you that I can’t read?”

  
“What?” Simon asked in surprise, all thought of Victor Aldertree disappearing from his mind. “No. No!” Simon grabbed Raphael’s face to make sure he couldn’t look away. “Is that what you think?”

  
“I never even finished high school-”

  
“I don’t give a shit about that,” Simon said, cutting him off. “You’re fucking perfect, do you hear me?”

  
He felt Raphael relax beneath him and Simon leaned down to kiss him softly. A second later he was flat on his back on the table and Raphael was braced above him. “You’re so hot when you get all protective,” Raphael whispered before he seized his lips. “What do you say we find out if this table is as strong as it looks?”

  
Instead of answering, Simon reached for the hem of Raphael’s shirt.

  
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Simon closed the shower door so the steam wouldn’t escape and began drying himself off. He smiled as a bare ass pressed against the tempered glass but when Jace’s moans began resonating through the large bathroom, Simon felt his own cock stirring. He was half tempted to climb back into the shower but decided against it since it was his turn to cook tonight. As he quickly dried off, he saw the ass disappear and then a pair of hands was pressed against the glass. Raphael’s familiar shout of satisfaction had Simon reaching for his dick and jerking it hard as the sound of skin slapping on skin increased.

  
“Harder,” he heard Raphael order. Simon could tell Jace complied with the order because suddenly Raphael’s whole body was plastered up against the side of the shower and the door began rattling in its frame. Simon couldn’t stop himself from reaching for the door and pulling it open. The sight of Jace pumping into Raphael’s tight ass had Simon’s dick hard again within seconds and he matched his strokes to the deep, twisting motion of Jace’s hips. Neither man had noticed him since Raphael’s face was turned away and Jace’s was buried against Raphael’s neck. It wasn’t often that Simon got to enjoy the show and he took full advantage of watching the passion that consumed the two men. They were so very different but yet somehow perfectly matched.

  
“Please, Jace,” Raphael whispered as Jace’s plunges turned to long, slow glides. On every up stroke he pushed his body into Raphael’s as far as it could go and then rotated his hips fully before sliding back out until he slipped almost completely free of Raphael. Jace’s arms were wrapped around Raphael’s chest and had curled over his shoulders so that he could hold Raphael in place for his gentle assault.

  
“What, baby? Tell me what you want.”

  
“I want” – Raphael cried out as Jace flexed into him once more – “I want it to always be like this, the three of us.”

  
“It will,” Jace whispered. “I promise.” And then Jace was kissing Raphael and increasing his pace.

  
“Love you, Jace,” Raphael said hoarsely. “Love you so much.” And then Raphael was screaming in pleasure and Simon felt his orgasm take him. He managed to stifle a groan and was glad he did because otherwise he would have missed Jace whispering his own words of love into Raphael’s ear just before he gave in to his release.

  
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

  
  
“Raphael, baby, are you here?”

  
“Up here Mom,” Raphael said as he glanced around the room once more.

  
“What are you doing?” he heard his mother ask and he looked up and saw her standing in the doorway of the bedroom. “You should have called,” she said nervously.

  
“I won’t be long,” he said. “Why do you keep it this way?” Raphael asked as he studied the bedroom that had once been his. It looked exactly the same as he’d left it when he was seventeen and the fact that it was completely dust free meant his mother was still cleaning it when she did the rest of the house. There was even fresh tape on some of the half-dozen fighter jet posters that had started to yellow with age.

  
“Because it’s your room,” his mother answered in confusion.

  
Raphael shook his head in frustration. “It stopped being mine the minute he came into our lives.”

“That’s not true-”

  
“It is, Mom. It is.”

  
“Raphael-”

  
“Did you really believe all the things he said about me or were you just too afraid of losing him?”

  
His mother dropped her gaze and he had his answer. He was surprised to realize that it actually hurt more to know she’d believed him but had still chosen Valentine.

  
“You were always such a good boy,” his mother murmured. “I knew you’d be okay.”

  
Raphael let out a sad laugh. “You know what’s ironic? I didn’t get it until now. How being in love with someone else can consume you like that. How the idea of losing them…” The idea of a future without Simon or Jace was too disturbing for Raphael to even finish the thought.

  
His mother lifted her eyes. “Have you found someone, baby?”

  
“Two someones, actually.”

  
His mother looked confused but he wasn’t in the mood to clear it up for her. His sexuality wasn’t something they’d ever talked about beyond him telling her over dinner when he was sixteen that he was gay. She hadn’t condemned him or supported him – she’d simply reached for his plate and started piling more food than he could possibly eat on it and they’d never discussed it again. But since Valentine had started calling him fag and queer shortly thereafter, he knew she’d talked to him about it.

  
“If Valentine loved you, he wouldn’t hide you away, Mom. If he loved you, he’d want to spend every moment with you, share every part of his life with you. He’d accept you for who you were and he’d do anything to protect you. He’d cherish you.”

  
“He does love me like that. He’s just not free to show it yet.”

  
Raphael felt tears of frustration sting his eyes. A little part of him had always hoped he’d be able to free his mother from the hold Morgenstern had on her but it was a battle he just couldn’t fight anymore.

  
“Here,” Raphael said as he stood and handed her the papers that he’d been holding in his hand.

  
“What is it?” she asked as she glanced at it.

  
“Citizenship papers. You’re already approved - all you have to do is fill them out and send them to the address on the bottom.”

  
His mother flipped through the pages. “How did you do this?” she asked in shock.

  
“I didn’t. One of the men who loves me did it because he knew how important it was to me,” Raphael said. He leaned down to kiss her cheek and started to leave but she grabbed his arm.

  
“This man – he makes you happy?”

  
“He does. His name is Jace.”

  
His mother nodded slowly. “And there is another man?”

  
“Simon.”

  
He was surprised to see his mother start to cry and he mentally prepared himself for the rebuke he knew was coming. But instead, his mother leaned into him and wrapped her arms around him. “You’ll bring them both to dinner sometime?”

  
“Rosa!”

  
Raphael flinched as he heard Morgenstern’s voice bellowing from downstairs and his mother tensed in his arms.

  
“You here honey? I only have half an hour.”

  
Raphael clenched his fists and he stepped back from his mother as he heard footsteps on the stairs.

  
“Raphael, please don’t,” his mother whispered.

  
Morgenstern froze when he saw them and then sneered. But to Raphael’s surprise, the man didn’t say anything.

  
“Bye, Mom,” Raphael said as he left the bedroom and forced himself to brush past Morgenstern without wrapping his hands around his throat and squeezing the life out of him. He wasn’t surprised when he heard Morgenstern mutter something to his mother that included the word “faggot” but he didn’t stick around long enough to see how his mother would respond.

  
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Raphael fumbled with the key as his dick tightened with anticipation. He’d seen Jace’s car parked on the side of the street in front of his townhouse but he had no idea if Simon had returned from his appointment yet since the garage door was closed. They’d decided to have Simon park his GTO in the garage since the distinctive car would be recognizable on the off chance that Ragnor or Magnus dropped by unexpectedly. It was getting harder and harder to keep the truth from the two brothers, especially now that Raphael had returned to work, but hopefully it would just a be a few more days until the deception was over. He’d learned from Jace that Jordan had started doing some consulting around the office though he hadn’t seen the young man himself. But whatever was happening between Jordan and his brothers seemed to be a good thing because he’d finally seen some of the life returning to Ragnor and Magnus’ eyes. If all went as planned, they’d have more reason to celebrate with Simon’s reappearance. He just hoped like hell that Magnus and Ragnor would forgive him and Jace and that they’d accept them as being a part of Simon’s life…and that Simon would forgive them for keeping the truth about Jordan from him for so long.

  
Raphael finally managed to get the door open and hurried inside. Even if Simon wasn’t home, he and Jace could start without him and let him catch up. Maybe he’d bend Jace over the kitchen table so that would be the first thing Simon saw when he walked in the door. Raphael was so preoccupied with the image that he didn’t even notice Jace or the man sitting across from him at the table until he was almost on top of them.

  
“What the fuck?” Raphael snarled when he recognized Sebastian.

  
Sebastian’s green eyes flashed with amusement as Jace immediately got up and placed his body between Raphael and Sebastian.

  
“Raphael-”

  
Raphael tried to push past Jace. Seeing Jace’s former lover sitting at their kitchen table – the very one he’d been contemplating making love to Jace on – had him seething with rage. The idea that this man had used Jace when he’d been vulnerable…

  
“Get the fuck out of our house!” Raphael snarled.

  
“Raphael, stop it!” Jace ordered. “I asked him to come here.”

  
“Why?” 

  
_God, did Jace want Sebastian back? Had he not meant it when he told Raphael he loved him?_

  
Jace’s hand came out to close over Raphael’s cheek and Raphael allowed him to draw his gaze away from Sebastian. “Don’t you dare think it! I love you.”

  
Raphael forced himself to draw in a breath and then another one. He finally nodded and relaxed as Jace drew him down for a quick kiss.

  
“Why is he here?” Raphael asked stonily.

  
“I asked him to take a look at Aldertree’s lawsuit,” Jace said.

  
Raphael hadn’t given the lawsuit much thought since he’d been forced to ask Simon to read it to him. He’d mentioned it to Jace that night but hadn’t considered how to deal with it.

  
“It’s bogus.”

  
“I assure you Mr. Santiago, it’s very real,” he heard Sebastian say. Raphael forced himself to release Jace and focus on Sebastian.

  
“Are you saying he has a case?” Raphael asked.

  
Sebastian stood. “I’m saying you need a plan of attack. Jace tells me that Ragnor and Magnus terminated their contract with the Aldertrees because of you and your friend.”

  
“Andrew.”

  
“Victor’s father doesn’t enjoy losing and from what Jace tells me about what Victor did to your friend, the son doesn’t like it much either. This” – Sebastian held up the document outlining the suit – “is two bullies trying to get their power back.”

  
“Can you fix it?” Raphael asked.

  
Sebastian eyed him for a moment. “Yes,” he said simply. God, the guy was arrogant. “With your permission, I’ll start drawing up a countersuit.”

  
Raphael nodded briefly. He didn’t like the guy but he trusted Jace and if Jace thought Sebastian was the best man to take care of the shit with Aldertree, then so be it.

  
“Jace, I’ll need the police reports like we discussed,” Sebastian said crisply as he reached out a hand. Even the sight of Jace touching the other man had Raphael’s blood boiling but he managed to remain where he was. Sebastian was smart enough not to try to shake his hand and it took just moments for Jace to show him out.

  
“I don’t like him,” Raphael snapped as he tossed his keys on counter.

  
“I think the feeling is mutual,” Jace said. “How did things go with your mom?”

  
Raphael shook his head. He was still too raw from the conversation with his mother to share the details just yet so he said, “Morgenstern showed up.”

  
Jace’s anger was instantaneous. “Did he say anything to you?”

  
“Surprisingly, no,” Raphael said. “At least not to my face anyway.”

  
“Good,” Jace said in satisfaction.

  
When Jace turned to go towards the bedroom, Raphael reached out and pulled him back. “Want to tell me how you got him off my back exactly? Or how you managed to get those papers for my mother?”

  
Jace remained mute and Raphael felt his insides jump at the unspoken challenge. He used his arms to cage Jace between his body and the kitchen counter and leaned down to run his tongue over Jace’s lips. Jace instantly opened for him but Raphael pulled back. He let one of his hands close over Jace’s cock and smiled when Jace’s eyes closed and his body shuddered.

  
“How’d you do it, Jace?” Raphael whispered as he ghosted another kiss over Jace’s lips. Jace tried to follow his mouth when Raphael pulled away but a hard tug on Jace’s cock had him biting back a moan.

  
“Bastard,” Jace muttered as he caught on to the game. “I know some people.”

  
“What people?” Raphael asked as he continued to stroke Jace. He waited until Jace was writhing against him before he stopped.

  
“Fuck,” Jace bit out. “Mayor, Chief of Police. We’re on a first name basis.”

  
“I’m going to need more than that,” Raphael said.

  
“Really? Now?” Jace asked in frustration.

  
Since Raphael’s own body was tight with need, Raphael said, “Promise you’ll tell me everything afterwards.”

  
Jace’s hand tried to wrap around his neck to drag him down for a kiss but Raphael grabbed his wrist.

  
“Yes, damn it, I promise.”

  
Raphael instantly released Jace and moaned at the hungry assault on his mouth. But he only let it go on for a few seconds before he grabbed Jace and dragged him to the table and did exactly what he’d been planning to do.

  
“You better hope Simon comes home soon,” Raphael whispered as he bent over Jace and rubbed his cock against Jace’s ass. “Because I’m going to keep fucking you for as long as it takes for him to walk through that door and see you like this.”

  
He cut off Jace’s strangled groan with a kiss and then reached for his zipper.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

  
  
“Nice car.”

  
Simon froze as he watched Sebastian climb out of the luxury sedan that had pulled up behind his car in front of the bar where Andrew worked.

  
“What are you doing here?” Simon asked in irritation.

  
“Between you and that boyfriend of yours, I’m starting to think you guys don’t like me very much,” Sebastian drawled as he walked around the car. He was wearing an expensive suit and looked every bit the lawyer that he was. In truth, the guy was gorgeous but he had nothing on Jace or Raphael.

  
“You’re an observant guy. We’d probably like you a whole lot better if you hadn’t used Jace like you did.”

  
Sebastian seemed like he was about to say something but then a strange look came over his features before he shuddered them with a mask of indifference. He took a few steps towards the bar and opened the door. “You coming?” he asked.

  
“Why are you here?”

  
“I came to speak to Mr. Underhill about the lawsuit your boyfriend managed to get himself caught up in.”

  
“Raphael hired you?”

  
“I guess you could say that. Right after Jace kept him from ripping my throat out.”

  
“I thought you were a criminal lawyer,” Simon said as he walked past him.

  
“Winning’s winning,” he thought he heard Sebastian say.

  
The bar was dark compared to outside and it took a moment for Simon to focus. “He must be in back,” Simon murmured.

  
“I don’t give a shit about some restraining order! You’re mine!”

  
Simon tensed at the raised voice coming from the back of the bar. The pitch was higher than Andrew’s. He felt Sebastian right behind him as they hurried towards the commotion.

  
“Baby, I’ll drop the lawsuit against your friend if you come back. I love you so much.”

  
“My backpack, have you seen my backpack?” a confused voice said. Andrew’s voice.

  
“God, you are such a retard,” the first voice snarled.

  
“My backpa-”

  
The words were suddenly cut off and Simon heard what sounded like a struggle. A second later there was a resounding slap.

  
Simon and Sebastian reached the stockroom at the same time. Andrew was pressed back against the shelves, his hands pinned above his head. He was struggling against a slightly larger man who was kissing him and grinding his hips against him.

  
“Get your fucking hands off him,” Simon yelled but Sebastian beat him to it and grabbed the guy and dragged him off Andrew. Simon managed to catch Andrew as he lost his balance.

  
“My backpack. I need it or I’ll be late for school again,” Andrew whispered brokenly as he looked around in confusion.

  
“Andrew, it’s Simon” Simon said softly as he gently lowered himself and Andrew to the floor.

  
Andrew flinched over and over again and it took Simon a moment to realize that he was reacting to Sebastian’s fist connecting with the face of the man that was assaulting Andrew. Blood was pouring from the guy’s nose and he wasn’t fighting back against Sebastian at all.

  
“Sebastian, stop!” Simon shouted. “Sebastian, for God’s sake, stop!”

  
Sebastian finally stopped and the man slid in a heap to the floor. Sebastian’s fists were bruised as he turned around and there was blood on his face and suit. None of it appeared to be his though. Simon turned his attention back to Andrew.

  
“Andrew, can you hear me?” Simon asked.

  
“Simon?” Andrew asked as his eyes suddenly seemed to clear from the fog he’d been in. His eyes darted up to meet Simon’s and then came to rest on the unconscious man at Sebastian’s feet.

  
“What happened?” Andrew asked. His eyes settled on Sebastian and his eyes widened as he noticed Sebastian’s battered fists. “What did you do to Victor?”

  
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

  
  
“Raphael, don’t!” Jace heard Andrew yell as Raphael slammed through the bar door. He was right behind Raphael as they’d entered the bar but his view had been obstructed. But within seconds of walking through the door, Raphael had sped up and Jace saw Simon step in his path just as Andrew shouted at him. Sebastian was there too and grabbing Raphael’s arm as he lunged for a man being treated by paramedics. They’d gotten the call from Sebastian only fifteen minutes ago but a patrol car and ambulance had beaten them to the scene.

  
“Raphael, Andrew needs you,” Simon said firmly but it wasn’t until Simon grabbed Raphael by the face and forced him to look at him that Raphael finally calmed down. He pulled free of Sebastian and went to where Andrew was sitting in a chair near the bar.

  
“What happened?” Jace asked Simon as he took out his badge and flashed the officer flanking the man being loaded onto a gurney.

  
“We found him assaulting Andrew,” Simon said.

  
“Aldertree?” Jace asked and Simon nodded in response. Jace looked Simon up and down quickly to make sure he wasn’t injured. One look at Sebastian had him asking, “Do you need medical attention?”

  
Sebastian shook his head but didn’t say anything. His eyes kept flashing to Andrew.

  
“Stay here,” he said to Simon and Sebastian. He hurried over to where Raphael was kneeling in front of Andrew.

  
“You okay, Andrew?” Jace asked.

  
Andrew nodded but his eyes were on Raphael. They were filling with tears. “I had another one,” Andrew whispered. “I don’t remember anything after he came into the storeroom.”

  
“It’s okay,” Raphael said softly. “Simon’s going to sit with you for a bit, okay?” Raphael motioned to Simon who came over and pulled up a chair next to Andrew.

  
Jace pulled Raphael aside and said, “What did he mean?”

  
“The bombing that took his leg also left him with permanent brain damage. He has episodes where he starts saying things that don’t make sense or he forgets where he is. They don’t last long but he never remembers them. Sometimes he forgets what happened right before the episode starts too.”

  
“Okay,” Jace said as has mind began to work out what needed to happen. “Let me get the details from Sebastian and we’ll go from there.”

  
“I’m coming with you,” Raphael said.

  
“Raphael-” Jace began to say.

  
“Please, Jace. I need to know.”

  
Jace finally nodded and went to where Sebastian stood quietly near the storeroom entrance. The officer that had been talking to Aldertree as he was being treated by the paramedics nodded at Jace. He recognized him but couldn’t remember his name.

  
“Officer…”

  
“Gerard, Detective.”

  
“Officer Gerard, you get Aldertree’s statement?” he asked.

  
“He says this man” – the officer motioned to Sebastian – “assaulted him while he was talking to his boyfriend.”

  
He felt Raphael stiffen behind him but was glad when Raphael kept quiet.

  
“The paramedics said his nose is broken and he’ll probably need to be monitored for a head injury since he lost consciousness. He says he wants to press charges.”

  
“Escort him to the hospital and stay on him. He violated the restraining order Mr. Underhill had on him. I’ll take statements from everyone else and talk to the D.A. about charges.”

  
“Yes sir,” Gerard said and hurried off.

  
Jace turned his attention to Sebastian. “What happened?”

  
Sebastian glanced at Andrew for a moment and then focused his attention on Jace. “I ran into your boy out front,” he said. “We heard yelling and found Mr. Aldertree had Mr. Underhill pinned against the shelves in there” – he pointed to the storeroom – “and was kissing and fondling him.”

  
“It wasn’t consensual?” Jace forced himself to ask even though he already knew the answer.

  
“No fucking way,” Sebastian said. The fury caught Jace off guard but Sebastian quickly brought himself under control again. “Mr. Underhill seemed confused by what was happening. He kept asking about a backpack. I pulled Mr. Aldertree off of him while Simon checked on Mr. Underhill. It also sounded like someone struck someone else but neither of us witnessed it.”

  
The red mark on Andrew’s face was proof enough of who’d struck who. “Okay, I need you to come down to the precinct and give me a formal statement. You good with that?”

  
Sebastian nodded. “I’ll head down there now.” He cast Andrew one last look and turned to leave when Raphael suddenly stepped in front of him. Pride surged through Jace as Raphael stuck out his hand. Sebastian seemed reluctant to take it at first, but finally did.

  
“Thank you,” Raphael said softly.

  
Sebastian gave him a curt nod and then left. Jace went back to where Simon was sitting with Andrew. “Andrew, I need you to come down to the precinct to give your statement so we can press charges against Victor.”

  
Andrew nodded and Raphael wrapped an arm around his shoulders as he climbed unsteadily to his feet. As they headed towards the entrance, Jace reached for Simon and dragged him into his arms. “Are you okay?” he asked.

  
“I’m good,” Simon said.

  
“What were you doing here?”

  
“I came to ask Andrew about Aldertree. I was worried about the lawsuit and I wanted to find out what he knew about it.”

  
Jace made himself release Simon and nodded in understanding. “We’ll need to get your statement too.”

  
Simon’s eyes widened as he realized that meant he’d have to go to the precinct. “Will you be the one taking it?” Simon asked.

  
“No. We need to be able to show impartiality so Aldertree can’t claim I was biased. Another officer will have to do it.”

  
Simon nodded. “Okay.”

  
“You sure?” Jace asked.

  
“If it helps put that fucker behind bars, yeah, I’m sure.”

  
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

  
  
“Don’t think I’ve forgotten our deal,” Raphael said as Jace snuggled back against him.

  
“What deal?” Simon asked. His head was resting on Jace’s chest and his fingers were stroking up and down Jace’s side.

  
“It’s nothing,” Jace murmured.

  
“Jace has some explaining to do about a few things.”

  
He felt Jace sigh. It had been a long day between dealing with things at the bar and the fiasco at the station afterwards and Raphael had actually forgotten the promise he’d finagled out of Jace until he saw Morgenstern sitting sullenly in his office as he stared daggers at Raphael as Raphael and Jace had waited for Simon’s statement to be taken. By now Morgenstern had to know he and Jace were lovers, but he hadn’t used that or the fact that Raphael was once again involved in an assault on Aldertree – albeit indirectly – to confront him. Whatever Jace had said to the man had clearly scared him.

  
“My grandfather was big in commercial development back in the 1950’s. It made him a lot of money and a lot of friends. My father helped him run the business for a while before he and my mom decided it would be more fun to jet off to foreign countries and hang with the rich and famous. My father eventually became an ambassador and my mother kept busy throwing lavish parties and dinners.”

  
“Wait, are you saying you’re one of the Waylands in Wayland Development Services?” Raphael asked.

  
Jace nodded. “I don’t have anything to do with the day to day operations but I still have a seat on the Board. My grandfather had always hoped I’d take over the business someday but after I told him I was gay, he never brought it up again.”

  
“Shit, Jace, I’m sorry,” Raphael whispered. He hadn’t intended to bring up Jace’s painful childhood.

  
“It’s okay,” Jace murmured. “It turned out to be a good thing. I can’t imagine being anything other than a cop.”

  
“So that’s how you know all those people?” Simon asked.

  
“Some, but not all. My grandfather was very well connected politically and that ended up helping my career in law enforcement. One of his fishing buddies had been the Captain of the department I joined when I got out of the academy. He was the one who suggested I become a detective and he looked out for me once he became Chief and Morgenstern took over as Captain.” Jace hedged.

  
Raphael couldn’t hide his surprise. “Was he protecting you from Morgenstern?”

  
Jace nodded. “The first thing Morgenstern did when he became Captain was get rid of any of the cops who wouldn’t side with him. I knew he was garbage as soon as I met him and I made sure he knew it too. He’s been trying to talk the Chief into getting rid of me for years.”

  
“Fuck,” Raphael murmured. “What about all the others? The mayor?”

  
“I met the mayor and his wife after I donated some money to a few hospitals in the area.”

  
“A few?” Raphael asked. “Jesus, how much money do you have?”

  
“None beyond my detective’s salary,” Jace said.

  
“But if you own part of your grandfather’s company-” Simon said.

  
“I give it all away.” The bitterness in Jace’s voice was clear and Raphael knew exactly what he wasn’t saying – he didn’t want a penny from the man who’d so cruelly dismissed him because Jace hadn’t turned out to be the perfect version of the grandson the old man had wanted him to be.

  
“To charity?” Simon asked gently.

  
Jace nodded. “Dot and I each inherited a quarter of our grandfather’s estate when he died. It came out to almost 6 million dollars for each of us. I wasn’t interested in the money so I just pretended it didn’t exist. When I found out Dot was sick again and that she wouldn’t get better, I donated all of it to charities that helped kids with cancer. I realized I could do some good with the profits from my grandfather’s company so I started donating that too. Homeless shelters, organizations that helped gay and transgender kids, hospitals…I tried to do it all anonymously but it got out what I was doing and people like the mayor started reaching out to me. Part of me wanted to tell them all to fuck off because I knew it was all just part of their game, but then I realized that I could use the connections to help others.”

  
Jace’s eyes shifted so they were staring at the ceiling. “Every time I’m around those people I feel like I’m still living my grandfather’s lie. I hate it,” he whispered.

  
Simon leaned over Jace and kissed him. “Then let it go, Jace. Put the lie in the past where it belongs.”

  
Jace closed his eyes. “They won’t accept us. They’ll say what we have is unnatural and wrong.”

  
Raphael spread his palm over Jace’s face and waited until Jace opened his yes. “Only the people that don’t matter will say that. The people who really care about us will see that what we have is amazing and perfect. That it’s what we’ve been searching for our whole lives.”

  
“Soulmates,” Simon said softly as he glanced at Raphael.

  
A smile spread across Raphael’s lips as he remembered his and Simon’s conversation about having more than one soulmate in life. He almost laughed as he remembered Simon’s comment about not believing in soulmates.

  
“Soulmates,” Raphael agreed.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Did you talk to him?” Raphael asked as he tucked the phone under his chin and began searching out his keys.

  
“Yeah. He said it’s a good time to tell Simon. He suggested we do it at Simon’s next session so he’s there to give Simon some extra support if he needs it,” Jace said.

  
“His next session’s tomorrow, right?”

  
“Yeah.”

  
“Fuck,” Raphael muttered. “I’m nervous.”

  
Jace was silent for a moment too and Raphael guessed he was thinking the same things as Raphael – that all the trust they’d been able to build up with Simon would be decimated. But their bigger concern had been making sure Simon was strong enough to deal with learning the truth about Jordan’s childhood and they’d decided that approaching Simon’s therapist to find out how best to break the news to Simon would be the wisest course of action.

  
“He’ll understand,” Jace said firmly. “He’ll see that we were protecting him.”

  
_God, Raphael hoped like hell that Jace was right._

  
“How’s Andrew?” Jace asked.

  
“Struggling. He finally managed to talk Jocelyn into letting him go home last night but I know he’s frustrated with how things played out.”

  
“At least he won’t need to testify since Aldertree was smart enough to take a plea.”

  
“Thirty days in jail and two years probation? Fucker got off lucky,” Raphael snapped.

  
“Yeah, but if he so much as even looks at Andrew, he’s back in for the full two years.”

  
Raphael knew it was better than nothing. And at least the lawsuit had been dropped as soon as Sebastian threatened the Aldertrees with a massive countersuit.

  
“Are you on your way home?” Raphael asked as he finally managed to get the door open.

  
“Yeah, be there in fifteen.”

  
“Okay, see you in a bit. I’ll make sure Simon looks real nice for you when you get here,” Raphael added and he heard Jace let out a sharp breath.

  
“Be there in ten,” Jace amended and then he hung up.

  
Raphael found Simon in the garage working on his car. He had music playing on the stereo so he hadn’t heard Raphael come in. As much as Raphael would have liked to sneak in and place his body over Simon’s where it was leaning over the engine, he wasn’t willing to risk scaring Simon so he called out his name instead. Simon’s physical appearance had changed dramatically in the three months since he and Jace had found him at the cabin. His body had filled out as a result of good nutrition and using the weights Raphael kept in the homemade gym in his basement had given Simon’s muscles some definition. His skin looked healthy and even had a touch of colour from the sun and his hair had grown thick and lush. And while he still struggled with occasional nightmares, they were coming less often. Crowds continued to be his biggest challenge, so things like going down to the waterfront or the Market Place to walk around were still off limits. Loud sounds got his attention, but didn’t set him off like they used to and he’d even managed to start watching some lighter action movies as long as they didn’t have too much gunfire and bombs going off.

  
Since Simon hadn’t heard him, Raphael went to the stereo and turned it off. Simon looked up from what he was doing and Raphael smiled at the sight of the grease on his hands and smeared across his forehead.

  
“Hey,” Simon said with smile.

  
Simon’s smile was the biggest proof of his recovery. It was almost always present now and he wasn’t content until he had the people around him smiling too. If Jace had a bad day at work, Simon used every ploy to drag a smile out of him. And if that didn’t work, he unabashedly used his body which always did the trick. Simon had also started testing himself more by running errands like picking up groceries or gassing up their cars. The only thing he hadn’t done yet was talk about when he was ready to see his brothers.

  
“What are you doing?” Raphael asked as Simon bent under the hood of the car once more, leaving his ass on perfect display for Raphael.

  
“Just checking a few things,” Simon said as his ass shifted back and forth slightly. Raphael cursed - little fucker was playing with him. Raphael began unbuttoning his shirt as he moved closer to the car and he let his hands smooth over the denim covering Simon’s ass.

  
“Was there something you needed?” Simon asked from under the hood as he pushed his ass back against Raphael’s touch.

  
“Little shit,” Raphael murmured as he yanked Simon free from the car and slammed the hood down. He pushed Simon down face first on the hood and leaned over him. His hands covered Simon’s as he began rubbing his cock against Simon’s ass. “I think there’s something you need, isn’t there?” Raphael asked as he leaned down and nipped Simon’s ear.

“Yes,” Simon moaned.

  
“Do you want me to fuck you up against your pretty little car, Simon?” He skimmed his lips down Simon’s neck and then bit down gently.

“Yes, Raphael. Please!”

  
Raphael stood and yanked his shirt off. Simon made a move to stand but Raphael shoved him back down. Simon got the silent message and stayed where he was though his head was turned enough so he could see what Raphael was doing. Raphael nearly came when Simon licked his lips as Raphael freed his cock from his pants.

  
Raphael pushed Simon’s pants down and then searched out his wallet and found the packet of lube he needed. He slathered some on his fingers, put a little on Simon’s hole and got Simon ready. When he felt Simon was ready, he leaned back over Simon and said, “I’m going to fuck you so hard that you’re going to beg me to let you come but you won’t, do you understand me?” He grabbed his dick and ran it up and down Simon’s crease.

  
“Yes,” Simon moaned.

  
“And when Jace gets here you’re going to suck his cock for as long as he wants and then you’re going to let him fuck you any way he wants.”

  
“Jesus,” Simon muttered. Raphael smiled as Simon’s body shook beneath his.

  
Raphael pulled Simon’s hips back so the angle was perfect and began pushing into him.

  
“God, yes,” Simon snarled as he drove his hips backwards to meet Raphael’s shallow thrusts. Once Raphael was fully seated, he pressed Simon back down on the hood of the car and began driving into him. He used his weight to hold Simon down and pinned his wrists when Simon tried to reach for him. Simon was begging for relief within minutes but Raphael kept up his brutal pace. But whenever Simon started to crest, Raphael slowed his pace dramatically. And then he started all over again.

  
By the time Jace got home, Simon’s shirt was covered in sweat and sticking to his back and he was whimpering in need as Raphael slammed into him.

  
“Look who’s home, baby,” Raphael whispered against Simon’s ear.

  
Simon managed to turn his head enough to see Jace but he was incapable of speech. Jace’s eyes were heavy with lust and he was already peeling off his shirt.

  
“Remember what I said,” Raphael said to Simon. Simon managed a nod and bit down on his lip. Raphael ruthlessly pounded into Simon over and over until his orgasm hit him and his come flooded Simon’s channel. He stayed inside of Simon until the last aftershock eased and then slowly pulled his dick out. Jace came up next to him and they both watched as Raphael’s semen began to trickle out of Simon’s ass.

  
Jace dropped to his knees and licked his way up Simon’s inner thigh before closing his mouth over Simon’s hole and sucking gently. Simon moaned at the contact and tried to push back on Jace’s face but Raphael placed his hand on Simon’s back to keep him still. Jace kept eating Simon for several long seconds and then he stood and turned Simon over and kissed him. Raphael’s breath nearly stopped at the sight of his come transferring from Jace’s tongue to Simon’s. The kiss turned hungry and impatient and Jace reared back and pushed his pants down. He grabbed Simon’s legs and dragged him forward a bit before ramming into him. Simon screamed in pleasure at the harsh treatment and Raphael felt his own dick stirring as he heard the sound of his come squishing inside of Simon as Jace thrust into him over and over again.

  
“Please, I need to come!” Simon yelled.

  
Jace kept up his brutal pace and Raphael angled around Jace and Simon’s body and closed his mouth over Simon’s dick. As he sucked on Simon hard, he watched Jace’s dick slide into Simon’s body and couldn’t hide the feeling of satisfaction that it was his own come that was glistening on Jace’s dick and easing the way for Jace to torment Simon with thrust after vicious thrust.

  
Jace came first but Simon was only seconds behind and Raphael happily swallowed every bitter drop of release that shot down his throat. He released Simon with a pop and then Jace was tipping his head up for a kiss while Simon lay unmoving beneath them.

  
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I’ll get it,” Simon called over his shoulder when the doorbell rang.

  
He thought he’d been smart by claiming first dibs on the shower but he’d barely managed to get any of the grease off his hands before Raphael and Jace were joining him. But at least the grease had come off a lot faster with three pairs of hands instead of just one and he’d managed to sneak out while Jace and Raphael were focused on each other. He’d lost track of time as he’d been working on his car so he hadn’t made the call to the restaurant to set up a dinner reservation like he’d planned before Raphael and Jace got home. His plan was to take them to dinner so he could finally tell them he was ready to see his brothers and that he wanted them there when he saw them. Simon had no doubt that his brothers would be confused to find him in a relationship with two men, but he was more concerned that they’d be upset with Jace and Raphael for keeping the truth from them for so long. Magnus and Ragnor were the only family Jace had and Raphael needed the security of working for his brothers so he could finally put down roots in the city he’d spent so many years trying to stay away from.

  
Simon reached for the door and opened it. A young man with streaky blonde hair and blue eyes stood on the other side.

  
“Hi, can I help you?” Simon asked.

  
“Yeah, hi, I’m here to see Raphael. I’ve been trying to catch him at the office but I keep missing him and I didn’t want to do this over the phone,” the man said nervously.

  
“He’s in the shower but he should be out in a second. You want to come in and wait?” Simon asked as he opened the door wider.

  
The man seemed to hesitate for a moment before he finally entered.

  
“Thanks,” he said.

  
“How do you know Raphael?” Simon asked curiously.

  
“Um, he saved my life actually,” the guy said. “That’s why I’m here – to say thank you. Everything got crazy after the shooting and then the hospital…sorry, I’m babbling.” The guy let out a self-deprecating laugh and extended his hand. “I’m Jordan.”

  
Simon felt the bottom of his stomach drop out and he actually wrapped an arm around himself. “What?”

  
Jordan withdrew his hand nervously and looked around. “Are you okay?”

  
“Jordan?” Simon whispered. He covered his mouth with his hand and shook his head. “It can’t be.”

  
“It’s him, Simon” Simon heard Raphael say and he looked up to see both his lovers standing half-dressed near the kitchen table.

  
“Simon?” Jordan said in wonder. “Simon!” he repeated and then suddenly he was throwing himself into Simon’s arms.

  
Sobs wracked Simon as he wrapped his arms around his brother. He could feel Jordan shuddering against him and the tears against his shoulder were proof that Jordan had lost it too. Simon finally managed to push Jordan back a bit so he could study him.

  
“You’re so big,” Simon said with a laugh. “We’re the same size now.”

  
Jordan laughed. “Yeah, no more sitting on me until I do what you tell me.”

  
Simon dragged Jordan into his arms again and stroked his hands up and down his back. He could feel the uneven texture of the skin through Jordan’s shirt and he froze because he knew instantly what he was feeling. Jordan drew back from him and said, “Long story.”

  
Simon forced back the emotion in his throat as he realized whatever story Jordan would be telling him about his past probably wasn’t going to be a good one.

  
“Come on, let me introduce you to…” Simon started to say as he grabbed Jordan’s hand and began leading him farther into the house but then his brain began to catch up and he stuttered to a halt. Jordan had come here to see Raphael. They knew each other. A chill went down Simon’s spine as he looked up and found Raphael’s eyes. Raphael knew Jordan had been found and he hadn’t told him.

  
“It’s a mistake,” Simon whispered. “It’s some kind of mistake.” His eyes went from Raphael’s to Jace’s and he saw the same exact thing – regret. They both knew.

  
“Oh God,” Simon said as he took several steps back.

  
“Simon” Raphael said. He saw Raphael take a step towards him but he threw his hand up.

  
“No! Don’t!”

  
“Simon what’s going on?” Jordan asked.

  
Bile rose in Simon’s throat and he tried to swallow it back down as tears stung his eyes. But his stomach wouldn’t cooperate and he leaned over and vomited all over the floor. A glass of water was pressed into his hand and he quickly drank it down but it just came back up again. He scrambled back when he felt the familiar hands rubbing his back.

  
“Don’t touch me!”

  
“Simon talk to me,” Jordan said desperately. “What’s happening?”

  
“Can you get me out of here?” he whispered.

  
Jordan looked between him and Jace and Raphael who only stood a few feet away. Both men looked like they were in agony but Simon didn’t care. He needed to escape.

  
“Please, Jordan.”

  
“Okay, let’s go,” Jordan said.

  
“Simon please just hear us out,” Jace said.

  
Simon shook his head violently. His skin was crawling and he felt like he was going to throw up again. “Now, Jordan,” Simon said.

  
Simon felt Jordan grab his arm and then he was being led down the steps toward the sidewalk. He couldn’t hear anything besides a roaring sound in his ears. He jammed his hands over his ears but the sound wouldn’t stop. He could see Jordan talking to him but the noise was too loud for him to hear what he was saying. He let Jordan lead him to a car and then he was being buckled in. The seatbelt felt too tight as he rocked back and forth against it.

  
A hand closed around his and he started to yank free of it until he realized it wasn’t either of the ones he’d thought it would be. He followed the arm up to Jordan’s face and saw him talking but since he still couldn’t hear him, Simon closed his eyes. And then he felt the darkness settle around him and he shifted against the dirt and angled his body around the sharp rocks. He could hear the earth come alive beneath his ear as he laid his head down and he smiled as he finally realized he was back in the place where things like love and trust and hope didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. The dream was over and he was back where he belonged. 

_In that fucking hole._


	7. Chapter: 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter - Finally Free - I really hope you enjoy this ………….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys...
> 
> 1\. Thank you so very much to all who have read and enjoyed this. You have made this journey absolutely incredible. I cannot even begin to tell you how much your support means to me.
> 
> 2\. For my next project... I'm sure you've come across Alec and Magnus in this story - So, my next one will be about them...Yeah, super excited about doing Malec again.

  
“Yeah, he’s here. He’s safe.”

  
Simon winced at the sound of the deep, unfamiliar voice. It wasn’t that the voice was loud – it just wasn’t the right one…or ones rather. There should be two voices.

  
“Simon?”

  
Another voice, but still not quite right.

  
“Simon you’re scaring me. I need you to wake up.”

  
Simon tried to say he was too tired but his mouth felt dry.

  
“Bat-” the voice said anxiously.

  
“He’ll be okay, baby. He just needs a little bit of time.”

  
“Did Raphael tell you what was going on?”

  
“Yeah, he did. We need to call Ragnor and Magnus.”

  
“No,” Simon whispered though he had no idea if the words cleared his throat.

  
“Simon?”

  
He realized it was Jordan’s voice and he burned it into his mind so he’d never forget it again. His baby brother was home.

  
“Water?” Simon asked. Hands helped him to sit up and a glass was instantly pressed against his lips. He took just a few swallows. A hand stroked his hair and then his brother’s voice told him to drink a little more.

  
“You’re not supposed to tell me what to do,” Simon managed to say. “You’re the baby, remember?”

  
Jordan chuckled and it was then that Simon realized he was leaning against his brother. He forced his eyes open and took his time letting them adjust.

  
“Where are we?” he asked as his eyes focused on a white leather sofa across from them.

  
“Our apartment. Bat’s and mine.”

  
Simon forced himself to sit up so he could take in the entire apartment. It was an open floor plan with mostly hardwood floors and contrasting dark walls. The living room had three couches in a U shape and there was a huge flat screen TV on the opposite wall.

  
“Bat?” Simon asked stupidly.

  
“My boyfriend,” Jordan said and Simon finally realized there was a man sitting next to Jordan on the couch. He was much shorter than Jordan and had dark hair and dark eyes.

  
“Bat Velasquez,” the guy said as he stuck out his hand. But then he glanced lovingly down at Jordan and said. “Soon to be Bat Kyle.”

  
Simon shook his hand and watched Bat lean down and brush a kiss over Jordan’s lips. “I’ll let you guys talk for a bit.”

  
Jordan nodded and watched him go. So not only was his baby brother gay, he was in love. Pain went through Simon as a feeling of loss settled into his gut. He’d thought the same thing – that he was in love. But people who loved you didn’t lie to you.

  
Simon had no idea how he’d gotten here. The last thing he remembered was throwing up on Raphael’s pretty hardwood floor. “Did I hurt anyone?” he asked.

  
“No,” Jordan said. “You were out of it in the car but you were able to follow me up here,” Jordan said. “Talk to me, Simon. Tell me what happened.”

  
Jesus, where the hell did he even start? “Did Magnus and Ragnor tell you what I did to Catarina after Ragnor brought me home?”

  
Jordan nodded. “They told me about the shooting too. You saved her life.”

  
Simon shook his head. “I was stalking her,” he said bitterly.

  
“You saved her life,” Jordan repeated. “You saved Ragnor’s too.”

  
That caught Simon off guard and he turned to look at his brother.

  
“I’ve seen the way he looks at her, Simon. He’s completely in love with her. If he’d lost her that day…I’m not sure he would have gotten over that.”

  
Simon fell silent.

  
“Is she the reason you left?” Jordan asked.

  
“Part of it,” Simon said. “I was so full of rage and hate. I was worried about hurting someone I loved.”

  
“Where did you go?”

  
Simon gave Jordan the details about Jace’s offer to stay in the cabin and Jace and Raphael’s arrival and plan to help him put his life back together.

  
“How could they do this?” he whispered. “They said I could trust them. I did trust them.” Tears began to spill down his cheeks and he felt Jordan put his arm around his shoulder. “I told them things I never told anyone else.”

  
“Were you with them, Simon?” Jordan asked gently. Simon understood what Jordan was asking and nodded.

  
“I thought I loved them,” Simon said. “I thought they loved me.”

  
“You don’t think they love you anymore?”

  
“I don’t know,” Simon whispered. “I don’t know anything anymore.”

“What all did they lie about?” Jordan asked as he gently pushed Simon upright so they were facing each other.

  
“You.”

  
“That’s it?”

  
“That I know of,” Simon said bitterly. But then his thoughts drifted to all the things Jace and Raphael had shared with him. Their painful pasts, the things that made them feel weak and vulnerable.

  
He dropped eyes and studied his hands. At some point Jordan had managed to push a tissue into it and he used it to wipe at his eyes. “I think it was just you,” he finally said. “How long have you been back?”

  
“Almost three months,” Jordan said.

  
Simon shook his head. They’d been lying to him from almost the beginning.

  
“Simon I know why they lied about me but it’s not going to be easy for you to hear.”

  
Simon steeled himself because he’d guessed as much.

  
“I began hacking Magnus and Ragnor’s computer servers earlier this year. I was looking for information to use against them.”

  
“I don’t understand. For what?”

  
“To hurt them,” Jordan said. “To destroy their reputations, ruin their business. I was even planning on taking down their loved ones.”

  
“Why?”

  
“Because I wanted revenge. I blamed Ragnor and Magnus for what happened to me after my biological father took me away.”

  
Simon had been too young to understand what was happening when a man claiming to be Jordan’s real father had shown up and demanded that Jordan belonged to him. He remembered Ragnor and Magnus promising Jordan that he wasn’t going anywhere and then one day they’d come home and said Jordan had to go with the man. He hadn’t understood when they explained that a judge had said Jordan couldn’t live with them anymore and he remembered yelling at his brothers not to let anyone take Jordan away.

  
“What happened after he took you?” Simon asked as he tried to mentally prepare himself for the answer.

  
Jordan hesitated. “I’m okay now, that’s what matters.”

  
Simon shook his head as fresh tears blurred his vision. “He hurt you?”

  
He felt Jordan grab his hand. “Simon look at me. I’m okay.”

  
Simon managed a nod. “Tell me,” he said. “I need to hear it.”

  
“Simon…”

  
“Please, Jordan” Simon asked.

  
“He … he tried to sell me to men for money,” Jordan said softly. He was surprised at how strong Jordan sounded.

  
“Oh God, Jordan, I’m so sorry.” He felt Jordan drag him into his arms once more and felt him whisper that he was okay over and over against Simon’s head.

  
Minutes passed before Jordan softly said, “Simon would you have been strong enough to hear this three months ago?”

  
Simon realized that he wouldn’t have and he shook his head.

  
“One month ago?”

  
One month ago he’d just started the process of therapy. No way in hell would he have been able to deal with such devastating news and stay on track with his recovery. 

  
_What if Raphael and Jace had just been waiting until he was strong enough to tell him the truth?_

  
But it didn’t matter because there was a new reality he just couldn’t get past. “I don’t trust them anymore,” Simon said as he felt his heart break into pieces.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Are you going into work today?” Raphael asked as he reached across Jace and turned the alarm clock off.

  
Jace shook his head but didn’t speak. It had been the same routine for nearly a week since they’d watched Simon walk out of their lives. They hadn’t tried to stop him since they’d known nothing they could say or do would take away the agony he’d felt at their betrayal. The only consolation they had was knowing Simon was safe with Bat and Jordan and Bat was kind enough to call them with daily updates. He and Jace had both been relieved to hear that Simon was keeping up with his therapy sessions and that he’d held up well upon learning the truth about Jordan’s past. But apparently he still wasn’t ready to see his brothers.

  
“Jace, we should try to keep things as normal as possible so that when he comes back-”

“He’s not coming back, Raphael,” Jace mumbled. “He’ll never trust us again.”

  
Raphael rolled Jace onto his back and settled on top of him. “He will. He’ll see that we were just trying to protect him.”

  
“Even if he sees that, it doesn’t mean he’ll trust us.”

  
“Then we’ll earn his trust back. We’ll beg, we’ll promise – fuck, I don’t care if we have to kidnap him and fuck his brains out for a week – we’re going to get him back.”

  
Jace’s fingers brushed over his scarred cheek. “And if he doesn’t, is what we have enough for you?”

  
Raphael leaned down and brushed his lips over Jace’s. “It’s never been all or nothing for me. I love you. Period. Whether he’s with us or he isn’t, I love you. Will a piece of us always be missing if he doesn’t come back? Yes. But I’m not going to give up a life with you. He may have been the reason we came together but he isn’t going to be the reason we stay together.”

  
“I love you, Raphael.”

  
Raphael smiled and leaned down to kiss him.

  
“Would you come somewhere with me tonight?” Jace asked.

  
“Yes, anywhere,” Raphael whispered just before claiming Jace’s mouth again.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“You didn’t say anything about having to wear a monkey suit,” Raphael snapped as he tugged at the bow tie around his neck.

  
“I think a tux is considered a penguin suit,” Jace said as he got out of the car and handed the keys to the Valet. He went around the front of the car to where Raphael waited on the sidewalk. The man looked unbelievably hot all decked out and Jace couldn’t help but imagine Simon standing next to him looking equally stunning.

  
Jace reached for Raphael’s hand and murmured, “I am so regretting not getting a limo for the night…the things I could have done to you in the backseat.”

  
“Fuck,” Raphael snarled just before he kissed Jace. It didn’t seem to matter to Raphael at all that fancily dressed people were walking past them as they made their way into the hotel or even that there were a few flashes going off from the cameras belonging to the society pages reporters.

  
Jace hadn’t planned to make an appearance at the benefit tonight, but Raphael’s words had stuck with him. As much as they loved Simon and he belonged with them, he wasn’t the glue holding them together. If it had been Raphael who had walked away, Jace wouldn’t have been able to leave Simon and he definitely wouldn’t have wanted Raphael and Simon to let go of one another if Jace couldn’t remain in the relationship.

  
Jace took Raphael’s hand in his.

  
“You sure you want to do this?” Raphael asked.

“Absolutely.”

  
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Raphael had lost count of how many hands he’d shaken or how many looks of surprise he and Jace had received each time Jace introduced him as his boyfriend. And Jace hadn’t stopped there. After introducing Raphael, he informed the other party that his other boyfriend hadn’t been able to attend but hopefully they’d get to meet him next time. They’d gotten their fair share of disgusted looks but most people had been polite and some had actually seemed interested. For Jace, the biggest hurdle had been the Chief of Police, but the distinguished, older man had simply smiled and greeted Raphael as he would have any other person. Even the mention of Simon hadn’t deterred the man or his wife who promptly invited the three of them to dinner. The most interesting part had been when the Chief asked Jace why he hadn’t taken the Lieutenant’s exam. He’d then pulled Jace aside for a brief, private discussion while Raphael had chatted with the Chief’s wife.

  
“Jace, Raphael!”

  
Raphael froze at the sound of Ragnor’s voice and he felt Jace’s hand tighten in his.

  
They both turned and saw Ragnor and Magnus winding through the crowd with their significant others in tow. It wasn’t until both men noticed that he and Jace were holding hands that they fell silent.

  
“Are you…” Magnus lifted his eyes from their joined hands. “Are you two together?”

  
“Yeah, we are,” Jace said.

  
Magnus and Ragnor exchanged glances. “Jace, I’m sorry, I never knew…”

  
“Nobody did, Magnus. I made sure of it.”

  
Magnus seemed at a loss for words and it was Alec who broke the tension. He dragged Jace into a bear hug. “Congratulations you two,” he said as he reached for Raphael. After that there were more hugs and questions about how they’d met but Raphael could feel the tension running through Jace and he knew the stress of lying to the two men he considered family was taking its toll. For whatever reason, Simon still hadn’t reached out to his brothers to tell them he was back and it wasn’t their place to do so either.

  
“Jace, you mind if we cut out early?” Raphael asked. “My head’s starting to hurt a bit.”

  
“Yeah, sure,” Jace said and Raphael could feel the relief go through him.

  
They said their goodbyes and began walking towards the front entrance but Raphael was caught off guard when Jace dragged him into a secluded alcove and wrapped his arms around him.

  
“I miss him so much,” Jace whispered.

  
He held Jace tight against him. “I do too. He would have loved watching you do this tonight,” Raphael murmured.

  
“Thanks for getting us out of there.”

  
“Let’s go home, Jace.”

  
Jace nodded against his neck. Raphael took the keys from the Valet when the car was brought around. Once they were on the road he asked, “What did you and the Chief talk about?”

  
“He wants me to take the Lieutenant’s exam.”

  
“Why?”

  
“He didn’t say it directly but I got the impression he wants me to be Captain at some point. You have to be a Lieutenant for at least a year before you can become Captain.”

  
“You think he wants Morgenstern out?” Raphael asked.

  
“I think so. He kept saying it was time for the department to catch up to the times.”

  
“You going to do it?”

  
Jace was silent for a moment. “I don’t know. What do you think?”

  
“I think you’d be fucking incredible at it,” Raphael said. “Haven’t you ever thought about it?”

  
“Once or twice but it’s such a high profile job that I was always worried it would be harder to hide my secret.”

  
Raphael grinned at him. “Well, you took care of that in a big way tonight.”

  
Jace smiled. “Yeah. God that felt good.”

  
They both fell silent as Raphael drove but Jace soon said, “Where are you going? You missed the turn.”

  
Raphael steered the car into a deserted parking lot and got out. He waited until Jace came around to his side of the car but cut off the tirade he was on about what they were doing there with a kiss. He yanked open the back door of the car and pushed Jace inside. He climbed in after him and closed the door and used the key fob to lock the car.

  
“Raphael, what the hell-”

  
Raphael kissed him again and then began reaching for the bow tie around his neck. “Now what is it that you were saying you wanted to do to me in the back seat of the limo you neglected to rent?”

  
Jace smiled broadly and then reached for the button on Raphael’s pants.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Simon watched his brother kiss Bat goodbye. It was strange to see his baby brother all grown up and in a relationship with someone, but it offered him a measure of comfort to know that Jordan had finally found the happiness he deserved.

  
“You want some more coffee?” Jordan asked.

  
Simon shook his head. Jordan filled his own cup and returned to sit on the couch next to him.

  
“You don’t need to stay and babysit me, you know. You can go back to work.”

  
“Is it babysitting if I’m not getting paid?” Jordan joked.

  
Simon smiled but then sobered. “How are Magnus and Ragnor?”

  
“They’re good,” Jordan said. “I think they’re still struggling with everything that’s happened but we’re taking it really slow.”

  
“They’re blaming themselves for what happened with your father?”

  
Jordan nodded. “It doesn’t help that I blamed them for so long. If I’d been a smarter hacker, I would have thought to check their files for information about me.”

  
“What do you mean?”

  
“I always thought they hadn’t looked for me. If I’d done a search on myself, I would have seen all the files and notes they had on the searches they did for me, the PI’s they’d hired.”

  
“Would you have come back here if you’d known?” Simon asked.

  
Jordan fell silent at that. “No,” he finally said. “I was too hung up on the belief that being around them would make me think of that bastard old man of mine and everything that had happened.”

  
“It doesn’t?”

  
Jordan shook his head. “New memories are replacing the old ones. Like watching Magnus and Ragnor bicker over the stupidest things like when we were kids. Or family dinner.”

  
“Family dinner?”

  
Jordan nodded. “I guess it’s something Alec’s side of the family started but now it includes Magnus and Ragnor and Catarina. Bat and I started going a couple weeks ago – it’s gotten so big that they had to move it to Ragnor’s house.”

  
Simon’s heart sank as he realized that even if he got to a point where he was a part of family celebrations, not all of his family would be there.

  
“Sorry,” Jordan whispered.

  
Simon shook his head. “I guess it would have been hard to explain to Ragnor and Magnus why I need two extra chairs at the dinner table instead of just one.”

  
“You know that wouldn’t matter to them.”

  
Simon fell silent as pain bloomed in his chest. “I miss them so much,” he whispered. “You know, I actually started to believe I could have a normal life. That I’d been forgiven for what I did to my team…for what I did to Brandon.”

  
“You can still have that,” Jordan said softly.

  
Simon shook his head. “All those men died because I was a fool. Because I made the wrong choice-”

  
“Jesus, Simon, didn’t anyone tell you?”

  
“Tell me what?”

  
“Fuck,” Jordan said as he suddenly stood. He quickly disappeared down the hallway leading to the bedrooms but was back a moment later with a sheaf of papers in his hand. “I thought the military would have told you when they debriefed you.”

  
“Tell me what?” Simon repeated in frustration.

  
“Heidi McKenzie got your team’s exact location from one of your teammates, not you.”

  
“What?”

  
“Shit, let me start at the beginning. When I started hacking Magnus and Ragnor’s servers for information to steal, I discovered emails that described the ambush on your unit and your imprisonment. I didn’t even know you were missing until then. I decided to do some investigating and found some emails on the DOD’s servers that a guy named Nicholas Benton had deleted.”

  
“You hacked the Department of Defence?”

  
Jordan brushed him off and continued. “The emails mentioned a villager who knew where you were being held hostage and I was able to anonymously send the coordinates to Ragnor.”

  
Simon couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Jordan was the reason he’d been found?

  
“I didn’t look at all the emails and it wasn’t until someone came after me in L.A. that we figured out the rest – that Heidi and Benton had been working together to sell the weapons your team was escorting. Benton’s the guy Raphael shot when he came after me a couple months ago. After Bat got out of the hospital, I went back and started looking through more and more of the emails. I found an email between Heidi and Benton where Heidi was saying the cowboy had finally given her what she needed. It didn’t make any sense to me until I saw another email where she was talking about a stallion that wasn’t biting.”

  
“I don’t understand-”

  
“What was the name of your high school football team?”

  
Simon froze. “The stallions,” he whispered.

  
“You know a guy named Danning?”

  
Simon nodded. “He was on my team. Holt Danning.”

  
“Danning went to Oklahoma State University. Their football team is the-”

  
“Cowboys,” Simon said in amazement.

  
“I hacked Danning’s email and texts. I found pictures of him and Heidi together – pictures he’d sent his folks. He told them that he and Heidi were engaged.”

  
Simon’s head began to pound as pieces clicked into place. He’d never had a clear idea of exactly how Heidi had determined their exact route – he’d only told her the general vicinity.

  
“Danning used his government email to send the pictures to his parents. We figured someone must have made the connection at the DOD. We assumed they would have told you during your debriefing in Germany. Ragnor said you didn’t say much about it.”

  
“Jesus,” Simon said as he stood on shaky legs. “It wasn’t my fault?” he whispered.

  
“It wasn’t your fault,’ Jordan responded as he also stood. Simon couldn’t move or speak as he felt Jordan’s arms wrap around him. He just stood there as his brother held him and tried to make sense of it all.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Jace stepped off the elevator and nodded at Magnus’s secretary. “Hi Lucile.”

  
“Good afternoon, Detective Wayland,” she said with a smile. “You can go on in. Mr. Bane will be in shortly.”

  
“Thanks,” Jace said as he went into the conference room on the other side of Lucile’s desk. His gut tightened as he saw the blinds were drawn on the glass wall. When he opened the door, his stomach fell when he saw Raphael pacing back and forth in front of the windows that overlooked the city.

  
“Fuck, this can’t be good,” Raphael murmured as he came around the table and gave Jace a quick kiss.

  
“Do you know what this is about?” Jace asked.

  
Raphael shook his head. “Magnus’s secretary called me and said there was a staff meeting.”

  
“Hey guys,” Magnus said as he walked into the room, a bright smile on his face. Ragnor was right behind him.

  
Jace reached his hand down to clasp Raphael’s. He’d been preparing for this moment since the day he’d told Simon he would keep his secret but he still wasn’t ready to say goodbye to the only two men that had been a part of his life longer than anyone else.

  
“So what’s up?” Ragnor asked as he dropped down into one of the fancy, high backed leather chairs that surrounded the huge table.

  
Jace glanced at Raphael in confusion and then at Magnus. “Didn’t you call this meeting?”

  
“No, we thought you did,” Magnus said as he glanced at Ragnor.

  
“I called it.” All four men turned to see Bat stride into the room. Jordan was right behind him. Anticipation went through Jace as he saw Jordan glance behind him and then Simon was walking into the room, his eyes instantly seeking him and Raphael out.

  
“Oh God,” Jace heard Magnus whisper and then Simon was in Magnus’s arms. Ragnor’s arms wrapped around both of his brothers and then somehow Jordan was being dragged into the mix. Jace felt tears sting his eyes and he turned into Raphael’s embrace.

  
As happy as he was for the brothers to finally be reunited, Jace had seen the look in Simon’s eyes when their gazes had briefly connected. There’d been no joy at seeing them – just pain. And in that instant Jace had known that Simon wasn’t coming home.

  
The group hug went on for several minutes and Jace could hear Simon’s soft murmurs as he spoke to his brothers. Magnus and Ragnor finally released them and sat down.

  
“Would you sit, please?” Simon asked as he glanced first at Raphael and then at Jace. The scene was surreal as Ragnor and Magnus sat on one side of the table and Jace and Raphael on the other. Simon sat at the head of the table while Jordan and Bat stood off to the side.

  
Simon turned his attention on Magnus and Ragnor. “I need you to let me say what I need to say before you start asking questions, okay?”

  
Magnus and Ragnor both nodded.

  
“I’m sorry for disappearing like I did after the shooting. I was scared…” Simon said. He glanced at Jace and Raphael for a moment before turning his attention back to Ragnor and Magnus. “I was scared that I was going to end up hurting one of you or one of the people that you loved. But I knew you wouldn’t just let me go if I asked you to. After Jace told me there wouldn’t be any charges against me, I tried to leave. He told me I should wait to talk to you but when he saw that I was going to leave anyway, he made me a deal.”

  
Jace shuddered as he felt Simon’s eyes shift to him again and hold his gaze as he spoke. “He offered me the use of a cabin he owned in the mountains and gave me some money. I told him the only way I would agree is if he promised he would stay away.”

  
“You knew where he was?” Ragnor said angrily.

  
“Rag,” Simon said softly and Ragnor fell silent when his eyes returned to his brother. Simon’s eyes drifted down to where his hand was idly rubbing against the table-top. “But I didn’t go straight to the cabin.”

  
Simon was silent for so long that Magnus finally asked, “Where’d you go, Simon?”

  
“I went to buy a gun.”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Simon heard Magnus suck in his breath at his response. God, what he wouldn’t give to be sitting between Jace and Raphael right now. To be able to draw from their strength. He forced his eyes up and looked at Magnus and Ragnor. He could tell they had a million questions but they were doing their best to respect his request to not ask them.

  
“It took me 3 days to find someone who would sell me a gun. Once I had it, I went to the cabin. It was still light out when I got there but as it got darker I started hearing things. I thought…I thought they were coming to get me to take me back to my hole,” he said softly as he dropped his eyes back to the table.

  
“Part of me was actually kind of glad because at least in my hole I knew what to expect. I had already accepted that I would die down there so it was okay. But another part of me had decided I wasn’t going to go out in that shithole and that I would take as many of them out as I could…I just had to remember to save one bullet.”

  
“Jesus,” he heard someone mutter – one of his brothers presumably since he knew Raphael and Jace’s voices by heart.

  
“I don’t remember everything after the first shot,” he admitted. “I guess some big asshole knocked the door down to save my ass and I took a shot at him,” he said with a small smile and he glanced up in time to see Raphael smiling at him. He forced himself to turn his attention back to his brothers. “Jace and Raphael saved my life that night. And every night after that,” he added.

  
Ragnor and Magnus both cast glances at Jace and Raphael but quickly turned their focus back on him. “They knew it wasn’t safe for me to be alone or around other people so they made a deal with me. They would keep me safe so I could focus on getting better. My condition was that they not tell you where I was.”

  
He didn’t miss the hurt in either of his brother’s eyes but he pressed on. “I need you both to be okay with them lying to you so they could keep their promise to me. They knew I needed professional help but that I couldn’t be forced into it so they gave me the time I needed to figure that out. You’re Jace’s family and I don’t want him to lose that. And you guys gave Raphael a place he can finally call home. Please don’t punish them for choosing to save me over their loyalty to you.”

  
Magnus shook his head. “We won’t, Simon.” He looked straight at Jace and Raphael. “We won’t,” he repeated.

  
“Simon,” Ragnor said softly. “Is there more between the three of you than them just watching over you?”

  
Simon smiled slightly. “I found what you guys did,” he said as he glanced at each of his brothers. “My soulmate.” He looked over at Jace and Raphael and felt his heart swell. “Except it turns out…. I have two,” he said softly.

  
Simon got up and went to where Jace and Raphael sat. “I love you,” he whispered to Jace before brushing a kiss over his lips.

  
He leaned across Jace and kissed Raphael before murmuring, “I love you” to him. Both men had said it back to him and looked at him expectantly. He drew up a chair and closed his hands over each of theirs. “I know now why you didn’t tell me about Jordan. But it made me realize that I can’t be an equal partner in this relationship if you have to keep things from me because I’m not strong enough to deal with them.”

  
“Simon, it doesn’t matter,” Raphael started to say.

  
“It matters to me. And I know I can get there if you give me time.”

  
He could tell both men were disappointed but they nodded. He had no doubt that they would give him exactly what he needed – that was what they’d been doing from day one. They both got to their feet when he did and he went into their arms willingly. Raphael told him to stay safe while Jace told him to come home soon. As he forced himself to walk away, he cast one last look at them and saw they were hugging each other and in that moment he promised himself that he would become everything they needed him to be and more so that the three of them would never have to be apart again.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

  
“How’s Andrew doing?” Jace asked as he handed Raphael the coffee the cashier had placed on the counter.

  
“Good,” Raphael said. “Says Aldertree hasn’t contacted him even once since he was released.”

  
“Fucker got off easy with 30 days,” Jace said.

  
They managed to find a seat outside at one of the small metal tables. The coffee shop had turned out to be an ideal meeting spot since it was within walking distance from the precinct and the building where the Security Group was housed.

  
“You have to work late tonight?” Raphael asked.

  
“Nope. Told Captain Fuckwad I was taking the rest of the day off.”

  
Raphael chuckled. “He figured out yet that Lieutenant Wayland will be Captain Wayland by this time next year?”

  
Jace smiled. “Yeah, he’s scrambling. Rumour has it he’s got an offer from some dive town in Texas.”

  
“He does. It’s in Greenley, Texas.”

  
Jace shook his head. “Shit, Raphael…your mom?”

  
“She called me this morning to tell me. He’s offered to get her set up in a house, give her a monthly allowance.”

  
“Fuck. I’m sorry, Raphael. I didn’t even think about that when I took the Lieutenant’s exam. I’ll talk to the Chief and tell him I’ve changed my mind-”

  
Raphael’s lips cut him off. “God, I fucking love you,” Raphael whispered before he drew back. “My mother told him to have a nice trip.”

  
“What?” Jace asked in surprise.

  
Raphael smiled. “She told him she had a son to look after. She mentioned something about grandkids too but I chose to tune that part out.”

  
“You think she’ll give in?”

  
“I hope not. She says she’s hasn’t seen him in almost a month and I believe her.”

  
Jace closed his hand over Raphael’s. As well as things had been going lately, they’d been struggling to get through each day without word from Simon. Neither of them had been expecting Simon to go to bat for them with his brothers but the move had worked. Magnus and Ragnor had expressed their gratitude for their intervention and hadn’t even balked at the idea of their baby brother in a relationship with the two of them. Although Simon hadn’t contacted them directly, Magnus had provided enough information that Simon was making good progress with his therapy. Jace had feared that something would happen to make Simon rethink their relationship but Raphael’s faith was unwavering and Jace drew from that during his weak moments.

  
Raphael’s phone beeped and he glanced at it. He stared at the screen for several long seconds. “It’s from Ragnor. My meeting this afternoon has been cancelled.” He turned the screen so Jace could look at it. “Did I get it right?” Raphael asked.

  
Jace smiled and nodded. He couldn’t help the surge of pride that went through him. Raphael had been nervous about trying to tackle his dyslexia after it had caused him so much pain growing up. But he’d found a good tutor who’d given him the tools he needed and his plan was to eventually get his GED. Not that it mattered to Jace and Jace knew Simon didn’t care either, but it had been important to Raphael.

  
“So if your meeting got cancelled and I’m off the rest of the day,” Jace said suggestively. He laughed when Raphael grabbed his hand and began dragging him towards his office.

  
“My car’s at the precinct.”

  
“Mine’s closer. We’ll get yours later,” Raphael muttered.

  
Jace heard a faint buzzing sound and yanked Raphael to a stop.

  
“What the fuck?” Raphael asked.

  
Jace searched his pockets desperately until he found his phone. His heart was in his throat as he turned it over.

  
“What is it?” he heard Raphael ask. “Everything okay?”

  
Everything was fucking perfect. He turned his phone so Raphael could see. “Someone just disabled the security system at the cabin.”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Simon smiled as he heard the sound of tires churning over gravel. Raphael definitely had to be the one driving since Jace wouldn’t dare take the turn at the base of the roadway leading to the cabin so tight. He glanced at his watch and saw that his men had made record time and he had to wonder if Jace had used his police siren for part of the long journey to the mountains. He had his answer when he saw Raphael’s car tearing up the road. 

  
_So just crazy ass speeding._

  
He stood and began walking towards the car. It came to a screeching stop just inches from him and then Jace was out and pulling him into his arms. Simon wrapped his arms around Jace’s shoulders and when he felt Raphael reach them, he lifted one arm and dragged Raphael down into their embrace. No one spoke as they clung to each other. It was Raphael who finally pulled back and put his hands on Simon’s face as if to hold him still while he looked him up and down. And then Raphael’s mouth was moving over his and tears flooded Simon’s eyes at the familiarity.

  
“Love you,” Raphael murmured against his mouth before Jace took his place. Jace’s kiss wasn’t as long, but he dragged Simon into another bone crushing hug and Simon could feel the dampness against his neck as Jace wept. He’d always guessed their separation would be just a little harder on Jace since he’d had so many people turn their backs on him and never return when he was a child. It had made his decision to walk away all the more difficult, but he’d realized that if he never found the strength to stand on his own two feet, he’d never be able to stand up for his men when they needed him. He knew that no amount of therapy would make him the Simon he’d once been, but he could be the Simon that Jace and Raphael needed him to be…the Simon they had sacrificed so much for.

  
“Are you back?” Jace asked.

  
“I’m back,” Simon said. “I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.”

  
“Thank fuck,” Jace murmured and then he gave Simon the kiss he’d been waiting for.

  
“Who’s this?” he heard Raphael ask.

  
Jace released Simon so he could drop down and pet the dog sitting quietly at his feet. “My service dog,” Simon said. “She alerts me to when I’m starting to get anxious and helps calm me down.”

  
“He’s beautiful,” Jace said as he knelt down and began petting the Golden Retriever.

  
“What’s his name?” Raphael asked. Simon couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his lips.

  
“Michelangelo.”

  
“What?” Raphael said as Jace began howling with laughter as all of them knew that their minds had simultaneously gone straight to the Ninja Turtles.

  
“His name is Michelangelo.”

  
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Raphael croaked. “Jace, shut the fuck up!”

  
“You named him Michelangelo?” Jace said as he tried to stifle his laughter.

  
“He came with the name.”

Simon started to laugh and looked up at Raphael apologetically. Raphael dragged him up and pulled him flush against his body but his eyes were on Jace when he said, “At least I’m next in line after the dog” just before he covered Simon’s mouth with his own.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Okay?” Raphael whispered against Simon’s neck. He forced himself to keep still as Simon’s body clutched him within his depths.

  
Simon nodded and turned his head for a kiss. Raphael put all of his emotions into that one kiss and he could tell Simon felt every one because Simon’s eyes locked with his and gave him the tiniest of nods.

  
“Show us how much you missed us,” Raphael said. He groaned as Simon slid his hips forward.

  
“Fuck, yes,” Jace groaned as Simon’s forward motion caused him to push into Jace to the hilt. A slide back had Simon’s body sucking Raphael’s cock into him as he nearly pulled free of Jace. Raphael didn’t move as Simon continued to work himself back and forth between him and Jace but he couldn’t stop his fingers from pressing into Simon’s hips. Raphael let his eyes drift down so he could watch Simon’s glistening cock slide smoothly in and out of Jace. It was a heady experience to watch Simon work them both in tandem. Simon was in complete control and he knew it and he was revelling in it because every move was orchestrated to bring all three of them maximum pleasure. Raphael watched Simon lift one arm and then he was leaning back against Raphael’s chest and wrapping it around Raphael’s neck.

  
Raphael let his teeth nip over the corded muscles of Simon’s throat as he stroked his hands down Simon’s sides. Simon’s body had filled out perfectly and from the muscles that rippled beneath his palms, Raphael could tell that Simon had been hitting the gym. Raphael let his fingers trail down to where Jace’s ass was pulled up against Simon’s thighs and the backs of his legs were pressed against Simon’s chest. The angle seemed to be working perfectly for Jace because he was moaning with every twist of Simon’s hips and his fists were clenched in the bed sheets. Raphael skimmed his hand over Jace’s ass as he writhed against Simon and then he dipped a finger into Jace on Simon’s next surge forward. Jace let out a gasp at the added pressure and Simon’s eyes glittered with lust as he watched his cock and Raphael’s finger disappear together inside of Jace.

  
“Hold him tight,” Raphael whispered as he added another finger. He used his free hand to grasp Simon’s hip and began thrusting up into Simon which sent him deeper into Jace. Simon’s arm disappeared from around his neck and wrapped around Jace’s legs to hold him in place as Raphael hammered into them both. Simon’s cock pulsed against his fingers while Jace’s smooth walls gripped him.

  
“Oh God, harder,” Jace said harshly.

  
Raphael increased his thrusts as he sought out Simon’s lips. He let his tongue explore Simon’s mouth slowly even as his hips moved faster and faster. He managed to glance down and saw the Jace was furiously stroking himself as Simon’s body and Raphael’s fingers breached him over and over.

  
“Watch how fucking beautiful he is when he comes,” Raphael murmured to Simon.

  
“Raphael!” Jace screamed.

  
“Show him, baby. Show him how much you missed him,” Raphael said.

  
“Love you Simon!” Jace cried out as he slammed his body down on both of them. Spurts of come hit his chest and abdomen as wave after wave of pleasure rolled through him. Simon let out a rough curse as his whole body seized and Raphael felt liquid fire drench his fingers as Simon continued to fuck in and out of Jace. Raphael gave up fighting his own release and bit down on Simon’s shoulder as he came. The blissful agony seemed to go on forever but when all three of their bodies began to loosen as the aftermath overtook them, Simon released Jace’s legs so Raphael could push him forward onto Jace’s chest. He pulled his fingers free of Jace’s body and put them up to Jace’s mouth. Jace immediately sucked them in and licked them clean. When he released Raphael’s fingers, Simon’s tongue took their place and Raphael let them kiss for a while before he dragged Simon’s mouth to his so he could get a taste too.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“You understand why I had to stay away, right?” Jace heard Simon whisper against his chest. Raphael was at Jace’s back but from his even breathing, Jace could tell he was asleep.

  
“I do,” he said as he ran his fingers through Simon’s now thick hair. He could still feel the scars along his scalp. “You had to fix the scars Raphael and I couldn’t reach.”

  
Simon lifted his face so their lips were just inches apart. “Do you still see any part of the Simon you first fell in love with?”

  
Jace smiled and nodded. “I didn’t think it was possible but I love this Simon even more.”

  
“You and Raphael saved me, Jace.”

  
Jace trailed his fingers over Simon’s cheeks and whispered, “No, Simon, we saved each other.”

  
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Simon couldn’t get over the sheer volume of people seated around Ragnor’s dining room table. With Raphael’s mom, the number came out to an even 16. And he hadn’t even counted a few other family friends who have become more family than friends. He wondered how the hell Ragnor was going to manage the seating once more and more babies started joining the growing group. As if on cue, Ragnor stood up and the whole table quieted.

  
“As everyone can see, our family dinners are starting to get a little bigger,” he said as looked around the table. “And I for one could not be happier about that,” he said softly.

  
“Here, here,” several people said.

  
“Growing up, Magnus, Simon, Jordan and I were taught that family were more than the people who shared your blood. And I think my brothers will agree with me when I say family is so way more than that. It’s about the people who will be there when you come home. Or will look for you when you’re lost. They’ll bring light to your darkness” – Ragnor glanced down at Catarina who was watching him with damp eyes – “and comfort you in your sorrow.” He paused for a long moment before saying, “I look around this table and can’t think of a better family for Catarina and I to welcome our babies into in six months.”

  
Everybody was quiet for a moment as Ragnor’s words sank in and then there were shouts of joy as the whole table started talking at once.

  
“Oh, and you’re all invited to the wedding,” Ragnor added. “It’s next weekend!” he said with a grin.

  
Simon smiled as everyone around him got up and began to make their way to the head of the table to give their congratulations to the soon to be parents. If it hadn’t been for Jace and Raphael, he would have missed out on this. He would have missed out on a lot of things.

  
Being apart from Raphael and Jace had been one of the hardest things Simon had ever done, but he’d used the time to find out who he was outside of their relationship and beyond the shroud of PTSD. He’d spent time with each of his brothers and their loved ones and had realized that, like Jace and Raphael, they saw him as more than broken or damaged. They’d laughed over forgotten memories and shared new ones. There’d been no judgement about his involvement with two men instead of one and no discussion about his seemingly sudden change in sexuality. And when he’d finally been ready to open up about the details of the ambush and his imprisonment, every one of his brothers had cried with him for the brothers-in-arms he’d lost and they’d thanked him for staying strong long enough so that they could bring him home.

  
Each time he shared a memory with a family member or with his therapy group, he found the good parts and stored them away in his mind and accepted and forgave himself for the not so good parts. His biggest struggle continued to be in finding the forgiveness within himself for Brandon, but he knew in his heart he’d get there someday. It was what Brandon would have wanted for him.

  
A pair of hands came around his neck and slid down his chest as a kiss was brushed over his cheek.

  
“Damn, twins. Did you know?” Raphael asked.

  
“She told me yesterday,” Simon admitted. Making amends to Catarina had been difficult for him. Her fear-stricken voice had haunted him in the months after he’d attacked her and he hadn’t expected or deserved her forgiveness. But she’d given it to him anyway and had welcomed him with open arms the second he’d stepped into Ragnor’s home for the first time since that terrible night. And right after forgiving him, she’d invited him to stay with them for a while.

  
“So you’re going to be an uncle,” Jace said as he sat back down in his chair next to Simon and rested his hand on Simon’s thigh.

  
“We’re going to be uncles,” Simon corrected as he laced his fingers with Jace’s and lifted his head up for a quick kiss from Raphael. “And godfathers,” he added.

  
“I don’t think three are allowed,” Raphael said.

  
“I think three is the perfect number,” Simon responded cheekily and he got another kiss for his trouble.

  
“You nervous about tomorrow?” Jace asked.

  
Simon nodded. He was glad when Jace and Raphael had readily agreed to fly to Indiana with him to deliver Brandon’s last words to his parents and fiancé. He wouldn’t share the entire truth of what had happened to Brandon, but he would tell them how brave he’d been because that was one hundred percent true.

  
“You think they’re watching over us, Jace?”

  
“Who?”

  
“Brandon and Dot.”

  
“Yeah, baby, I do.”

  
“Yeah,” Simon said with a sigh as he tightened his hand around Jace’s and closed his other hand over the forearm Raphael had draped across his chest.

  
“Me too.”

_*********** The End *************_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do let me know what you thought of this story as whole - your feedback will be really appreciated...
> 
> Thanks guys....

**Author's Note:**

> Ok.....so.....was it OK?


End file.
